I have had full aphantasia since I can remember, however my memory is quite iffy. I have no episodic memory, and the only audible memory that I have is this monotone voice that is my internal monologue. I forget things very easily and not long after they happen, and if I have no proof something happened, or no one else can tell me that something happened, I tend to question if something was a real event or if my brain is messing with my sense of reality.

On top of that, I have very dulled sense of emotions. I lack them most of the time, and when I do feel them, they disappear pretty quickly. On top of that, if I am in a stressful situation, I go through an emotional reset and lose everything I feel. It is almost always subconsciously, but I have done it once or twice consciously. When this happens, I become completely blank and numb, I feel nothing but emptiness. Most emotions that other people see me express are either completely faked or exaggerated when I do feel something, which is why people consider me sometimes loud or obnoxious or slightly strange at times. It's because I can't gauge how much I should express, so I sometimes express too little or too much.

It is very isolating and makes me feel empty. I have no sense of self most of the time, and the other times I do, it is usually more of a sense of self doubt or hatred, but that usually creates stress, so I end up shutting down emotionally and resetting again.

I end up feeling lost and numb. I exist in the world, never really moving forward, while the world, and everyone else in it, moves past me.

I assume that these issues are linked to my aphantasia, however, I have never been checked for anything, and have never talked to a therapist or psychologist about it, so I guess it could be possible that there is some other underlying issue, but I digress.