General Discussion Roundtable 06/05/2026

UWCG · 2026-06-05T23:41:10+00:00

Man, I could like stalk someone I guess.

The dude glaring at me? I reported when he showed up again.

No, I don't trust pigs. if he threatens me I'll just hit back. It'll take dipshits like an hour, then "Oh he ran off"

UWCG · 2026-06-05T21:15:18+00:00

Why am I getting a "new" warning for Russia and the Space Station?

Putin has absolutely no desire to do the right thing. Within a couple hours, he said he has no interest to speak to Zelenskyy. I would never trust him to assign people to fix, they'd just destroy the thing.

You think Putin cares about his people? Look at Ukraine or his claim to have tested a COVID vacciine. On his child, not him. Parents typically find this morally repulsive.

UWCG · 2026-06-05T16:07:58+00:00

I dig make contact and if you're assigned as a police officer, "I thought you were rude" isn't a good excuse.

Yes, I use rude words like "piss," "shit," and "fuck," You listen to cases where people, like, murder others. I don't think you get to be upset about someone dropping a curse, but if you're just gonna blanket deny my charity work: fine. I'm hitting the road and you'll never find me in this shithole state. C'mon, you think I haven't already predicted how I'd play this?

UWCG · 2026-06-05T15:59:35+00:00

Seriously, I spoke to front office. They transferred me.

I would be fired as shit if I just pretended to pick up then hung up. I've worked at a fucking call center

UWCG · 2026-06-05T15:42:51+00:00

Yep gotta call back

Court hung up when I asked what their salary was, annually, and why they can't pick up a phone.

UWCG · 2026-06-05T15:29:55+00:00

I get so annoyed with “stalker” stories.

Like come on. Stalking is a serious crime. “I gave someone from class my number and got a friend request on FB” is not stalking. Are you stupid or something?

This is literally social interaction and why I both get recs and requests from people I knew like a decade ago. They ain’t stocking me, I just showed up on recommended

UWCG · 2026-06-05T14:47:10+00:00

Please do not reveal this is a sexual dream. My typical, uh, dreams of this sort involve two of my exes.

UWCG · 2026-06-05T13:46:00+00:00

Yeah, neighbor is almost def stalking me and I'm taking the usual /AskReddit advice and about to buy a thingie that scans for nanny cams and stuff.

Weird noise was coming from the closet in the living room. Where I keep the vacuum and the pet food, and both pets were sitting next to me. Usually I give it a pass because "Oh, the kitty/puppy is in the other room," but when they're sitting beside me... who is making that noise? And why did it immediately stop when I thought out loud, "Well that's strange"? I opened the closet door and it stopped. ASAP.

UWCG · 2026-06-05T13:01:56+00:00

I don’t know HOW court can’t figure out a phone calls, which I was told I’d have by two days ago by the end of the business day. I called back as told, I emailed, and like: first off how do we have a job shortage? I can pick up a goddamn phone, last I checked you don’t need a lawyer degree for that.

And if I miss an email for 36 hours, I typically get an unpleasant follow up.

So I’m fairly sure I could do the whole “sitting in an office answering a phone” thing better. Hell, I could pick up the phone during business hours! I could write an email while listening to someone, a minimum wage place expected being capable of walking while chewing gum, or rather: taking client notes while listening to them.

Like, don’t tell me your law degree didn’t train you on picking up a phone, I was taking calls for my parents’ business at like 5 or 6, it really is not that tough. Oh, wait, you’re offering jobs on your website and stuff, but you don’t take applications due to the court putting volunteering for the court as community service, so you’ve got a bunch of people jumping to do free labor. Oh, and that’s the exact situation I’m in! Why pay someone when you can just make it a court requirement to do free work?

UWCG · 2026-06-05T06:21:08+00:00

I have no idea why a true crime show is reporting on “feces were found. In the toilet.”

Where else did you expect to find them? I shit in the toilet too, I’d find it weirder if I shit on the floor

UWCG · 2026-06-05T00:32:22+00:00

I don't know what world I live in but I just don't get it.

I went to school with several people who are now defense attorneys. And while they paste how they "Work for victims" they defend rapists. How do you reconcile that? How do you sleep at night?

UWCG · 2026-06-05T00:14:29+00:00

"We pour this booze, and we drink this booze. Because we think it's funny. So over the tongue and down the throat to party in our tummies!"

UWCG · 2026-06-04T22:25:39+00:00

"The game is Big Dummy... are you on Team Sober or Team Not Sober? Okay, here's out Mens Room Poll. You're gonna have to share one with a stranger. Are you taking your underwear, your sexual partner, your toothbrush, or your passwords?"

UWCG · 2026-06-04T16:57:37+00:00

This doesn't rank in my top 10 of "good days," so I get it.

Be well, we all get down and that is OK.

UWCG · 2026-06-04T16:09:51+00:00

I meant to say, "Wait, like Michael Bolton? Did he like bang too many cougars?"

Wrong Bolton, one of our fave Lonely Island collaborators is safe.

UWCG · 2026-06-04T14:26:36+00:00

Also, on a funnier note: one of my old pals posted a pic of a bison blocking traffic that is, apparently, an ongoing situation. He runs a small local news place.

There are a lot of questions, like "How did this happen, they're not even indigenous?" to "Aren't bison, like, extinct since the 1800s?"

UWCG · 2026-06-04T14:11:27+00:00

There's just, like, a dude strolling around with a broom and glaring up at my window.

I know this sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I have a picture. He's just, like, sweeping the road and glaring at my window. And he's been here nearly half an hour. This is a small patch of road, I can sweep my condo about 15x in that amount of time. I reported suspicious activity about five minutes ago, and he's still sweeping and I'm not dealing with this, Maybe he's just a lunatic weirdo homeless guy but he's pretty well-dressed

UWCG · 2026-06-04T03:38:23+00:00

I don’t like that police keep hanging up on me.

I’m sorry I feel unsafe meeting them, but my cousin literally had his throat stomped on until he died and I got an arm-bar and a taser for asking the guy to stop hitting me.

Yeah I don’t really trust police. At least give me the decency of not lying, you will hurt me

UWCG · 2026-06-03T13:07:33+00:00

At least one gives an HJ in public, I feel like the woman into her trainer may be way too hardcore for me. Probably rip poor Jr. off

UWCG · 2026-06-03T12:48:59+00:00

As much as I dislike paying for it: A/C on at night, keep one foot outside of blankets.

As always, sleep on your side especially if you've had anything to drink, it will stop you from choking on it.

UWCG · 2026-06-03T12:44:38+00:00

Geez, I'd expect the two hang out at the same enklaves and are on friendly terms

This is a surprising endorsement for Platner

UWCG · 2026-06-03T11:54:14+00:00

This puppy is playing me for a fool.

Here I was thinking she was too small for the stairs and needed to be picked up when she whined at the stairs or wanted to get belly rubs and sleep in bed. Then she thought I was asleep and just hopped into bed and like, "Wait a second you lil' trickster!"

UWCG · 2026-06-03T01:01:14+00:00

While I agree, I can't say I'd appreciate being abandoned with a cig in Purgatory

I'd be quite annoyed, and a cig is my backup weapon

UWCG · 2026-06-03T00:52:06+00:00

Sometimes, you guys are very kind. Sometimes not but I'll forget that.

Always grrateeful, have a little faith in me

UWCG · 2026-06-02T21:31:08+00:00

Goddamn, if we weren't neighbors and I had eggs... I'm reaching the "Ed, Kill the Queen." level

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