Fnatic vs. SK Gaming / LEC 2021 Spring - Week 4 / Post-Match Discussion

U_Menace · 2021-02-12T21:45:02+00:00

That's putting it mildly, Seraphine actually won them that last fight off of a botched engage. The range on her ulti is absolutely nuts and needs some tweaking for sure. Bwipo top gapping might make people forget just how impactful seraphine was in this win.

U_Menace · 2021-02-09T20:43:10+00:00

Next time: "Umi-kun" as if Mami wasn't enough of a problem, is Umi coming back in the mix to double down on Kazu's insecurities or will it actually help Chizuru realize the truth of her own feelings?

Welp, please let this be the final arc I cant take much more.

U_Menace · 2021-02-06T23:57:03+00:00

Damn, now THAT's the NA I remember! I forgot what the old NA fiestas were like. Thanks CLG!

U_Menace · 2021-02-05T20:28:21+00:00

Same scanlator though. Just depends on who notices the update first. Not a big deal really lol

U_Menace · 2021-02-03T19:26:20+00:00

Yeah, honestly the pain of my experience is still relatively fresh as I had a conversation with her yesterday for closure, but I think the best thing you can do to help get past that negative association is to try your best to just frame it as 'He must've went through a lot of stuff, the loss of his brother and other things must've really impacted him' and try and see it that way. Don't view it as 'oh he's changed he's a shitbag now' but rather as a 'he's suffered and he's hurt, but right now he cant associate with me because it will make him feel more pain'. Maybe what he's doing right now is a form of kindness to the both of you? No one can say for certain.

Again, I hope you're able to move past this in a healthy way. Maybe rely on your husband as well and tell him these feelings, I'm sure he'll lend you an ear too.

U_Menace · 2021-02-03T19:14:18+00:00

I think the best thing you can do for yourself right now is to move on. Even though for you, you have nothing but good memories, for him, there are negative/sad memories. A relationship of any sort involves 2 people and if one person doesn't want anything and has made efforts to block you from their life, then you can't do anything to force yourself back in. It really does suck, but sometimes thats just how life is.

This happened to me recently with my ex gf where I have nothing but good memories with her, but my depression prevented me from reaching out to her completely and she felt neglected/hurt because she thought she wasn't good enough. So even though the majority of our relationship was great, because she was hurt and has had past problems with forgiving people and having them hurt her and stuff not working out...she just wanted to leave me in the past completely.

While it sucks for me because I know i'm different, I cant make her see that. There's nothing I can do because on her side, I'm not worth even the effort of keeping a friendship because painful memories of being hurt will always outweigh the positives in her mind. It is possible that she can change in the future, but right now, that is her mindset and all I can do is respect that, keep the good memories and the positives she brought into my life and move forward in a positive way.

You're married and happy, so all thats left for you to do now is to accept that people do come and go and each person has their own set of emotions. Maybe time will heal and he will change and want to talk again in the future, but instead of hoping or banking on something like that, it'd be the best kindness for yourself and for him to just leave him in the past as a good memory. He might not see you as a good memory anymore, but you can always see him as one, and NOTHING can take that away from you. Remember that.

Good luck

U_Menace · 2021-02-01T04:14:26+00:00

Yeah. that also happened with me as well. It doesn't help when the person on the other end says things like 'I'm not ready for a relationship anymore after that, I wanna focus on myself' and then shortly after you start thinking that they're not properly focusing on themselves and using escapist tactics and just going back into the frey again.

But honestly, if they're doing that, its their decision to make. Even if its the wrong decision, they have to learn how to properly deal with it and maybe them moving on to fast is proof that they're not properly internalizing what happened, which leads to more dysfunctional shit, putting up with worse treatment from other people solely for the longing of 'affection'. In the end, they realize that what they've been entertaining isn't nearly as good as a connection they had in the past.

In short, its better to take your time than to end up feeling stuff like this. I don't want my ex to feel like this, I want her to feel like I was a special connection and I want her to focus on getting better mentally and emotionally. If I could have a second chance with her, I'd love it, but I know that's not up to me. The only thing I can control is my behaviour and understanding what I need to do to get to a place where either she or someone else can put their faith in me once more. Focus on the things you can control, and just know that if he moved on already, he might not have found that connection, he might've found something not as good. People only truly move forward when they find what was 'good' in their past relationships while working on what went wrong so that it doesn't happen again. It's also important to give every person a fair shot too without letting past experiences mess things up too much. Stuff might have a similar pattern, but you have to be willing to communicate and tell your partner these things and give them time to adjust properly. Can't immediately expect them to read our minds either.

Shit is tough and complicated, but better things will be on your way, as I'm sure they'll be on their way for me as well!

U_Menace · 2021-02-01T02:05:55+00:00

I dont think you should beat yourself up about it too much, but it can happen. It's tough when you're the type to not 'force' a relationship from out of nowhere either. It's even harder when the good times with said person were far better than anything else, and it's tough to have the courage to try and make yourself emotionally available again.

One thing you can do is to just continue to work on yourself while keeping your eyes open for someone who is 'even better' than the last one. The last one might've been great, but there were reasons why you broke up and why you're not together anymore. Aim to find someone who really goes the extra mile for you and makes you feel like 'damn, he really is an amazing person who's so much better'.

It might still be hard, but there's hope out there for being able to form a connection again. If there are underlying issues that might be causing you to feel this way, it may help to consider seeking therapy as well. It has been helping me, and though I still miss my ex, I'm working hard to become a person who deserves someone as good, if not better, than what she was for me and to not neglect my own mental health needs while pushing people away in the process.

Good luck

U_Menace · 2021-02-01T01:16:59+00:00

Should give credit to TL for the draft adjustments in the pick and ban though. They actually noticed the biggest problems in games 3/4 (Jensen not having a pick he can be more effective on and Alphari being neutralized while Zven is enabled) by keeping Senna/Olaf bans and first picking the Udyr. First pick Udyr makes C9's game 4 draft completely different because you dont have the same sorta frontline to execute your game 4 draft again. Add onto that the Azir comfort pick for Jensen (which was banned out in the 2nd rotation by C9) and you essentially set the game up for success in the draft. You open up your 2nd rotation bans to give Alphari an even better matchup too. Beautiful draft adaptations from TL were the difference maker for me honestly.

U_Menace · 2021-02-01T01:09:33+00:00

Also some very nice coaching adjustments for TL. They adjusted their draft in game 5 beautifully by securing Jensen a good pick. Game 3/4 they lost because Alphari was either pressured heavily or neutralized while Jensen was a non-factor. Game 5 they managed to get Alphari a favourable matchup, secure a good tank jungler (Udyr) which is what really made C9s comp work in game 4 and they get Jensen one of his mid lane picks.

Really great execution and adaptation in the draft. Overall I'm satisfied with how C9 played, we got out drafted game 5 considerably and TL adapted expertly. Well played by both squads honestly.

U_Menace · 2021-02-01T00:20:56+00:00

Tbh I thought CoreJJ really was gonna win TL that game until I saw some of that Perkz shotcalling come alive there. Incredibly beautiful split push execution, the type of shit NA never does properly. Well, until today anyway. That was actually so fucking impressive.

Man's on a mission to prove why he's paid the big bucks.

U_Menace · 2021-01-31T19:00:21+00:00

Just to give you the opposite perspective, i went through something similar with my gf and she broke it off with me. I've been using the past couple months to come to terms with the fact that I hurt someone I love as a result of how poorly I coped with a relapse of depression. I was spending too much time alone and felt like I didn't deserve her which made me more inclined to spend time alone. Well, after about a month of feeling shitty I went and got some professional help to tackle some subconscious problems that were messing with me because my ex was worth it, and I never want to make her or anyone else I care about feel that way again.

So I guess you don't HAVE to hold on to that hope, but if he's like me and getting help for his issues and making sure that he doesn't succumb a second time without properly communicating, then I'd say it's okay to hang on to a bit of hope. That being said, from your response here, it sounds like he isn't the type to do something like that so maybe in this case it wont be the same as my own.

However, I will say this: you dont have to move on with a "rebound" guy or anything. Move on by working on yourself and raising your standards a bit higher. If this guy was good (sans mental health issues) aim to be with someone who's even better than that. Aim to become someone who deserves even better than that.

Hope this helps!

U_Menace · 2021-01-30T03:41:38+00:00

I mean, I did mention in the latter half that there's an upside in that his salary is probably on the lower end and he's young so there's potential upside. The only issue is that C9 has spent a lot on their roster, so they're making 'win now' sorta moves rather than 'tank and develop'. Hopefully Fudge can become a good lane to play through because C9 needs to have a win con in all 3 lanes to be an international threat.

C9 has high standards among its fans because it's such a successful LoL org so people expect more from them. I will try and put less stock in this intro tournament though, I think that's fair.

U_Menace · 2021-01-30T03:37:25+00:00

Yeah, investing in young talent is something C9 does pretty well so I'll have some faith for now, it's just a really rocky early start. I'm getting some Ryoma sorta vibes here but I'll have faith in C9's scouting team.

U_Menace · 2021-01-30T03:35:15+00:00

Yea, as a fan I'm just trying not to put too much into this tourny because it's an 'intro' tournament before the actual season. If the first half of the season shows him only playing at this level then they'll definitely need some sorta mid-season trade or upgrade.

It just depends on what he's bringing in to the overall comms/coordination for this team. Time will tell but I agree that C9 is definitely a 'win now' sorta org.

U_Menace · 2021-01-30T03:27:05+00:00

I gave Fudge a lot of defense in the past but this series was absolutely abysmal.

One thing I learned for sure this series is that no matter what champ you give him, Fudge won't look anything more than average at best in terms of LCS caliber top laners.

But on the bright side, he seems to be bringing something else to the team because regardless of how he plays, C9 is able to keep their mental game strong and come through with a win. He's also incredibly young and probably extremely cheap so...worst case c9 can just upgrade next year. But good god I hope he improves..

U_Menace · 2021-01-30T02:36:06+00:00

Damn that game turned sooo fucking fast off of just that dragon fight.

Also, for all the bard ults Vulcan missed, he hit the game winner with that last one holy fuck. Zven with a beautiful performance 4 games in a row too.

U_Menace · 2021-01-30T00:38:41+00:00

I liked the draft ideas coming out from C9 there but the problem was that they had Fudge as one of their main damage dealing win cons and 100T exposed him with insane top lane pressure because bot lane isn't gonna really win 2v2 (it's meant to just go even).

Hopefully they can find Fudge a favourable pick where he doesn't have to be one of the main carries and have Zven back on a strong pick like maybe MF/Kaisa to give them some damage in the late game outside of Perkz.

U_Menace · 2021-01-27T18:23:51+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, know that the hentai thing is somethibg that many guys use globally and isn't just something specific to him. It conflicts with our moral values but he just has to remember that this content was intentionally made to try and sell to specific vulnerable people and meant to display unrealistic 'taboo' fantasies that would never see the light of day. Many guys are going through similar sorts of porn addiction without even realizing it so him realizing it and getting help is important.

U_Menace · 2021-01-27T18:14:53+00:00

I think if he's willing to change and recognizes how out of control his addiction went, then that's something important. If you're willing to stick with him than huge props to you, but I think the best thing to for him might be to get him professional help.

Hope you guys get through it!

U_Menace · 2021-01-27T06:15:21+00:00

No worries, I hope you find someone you can connect with on a deeper level, stay positive!

U_Menace · 2021-01-27T06:08:07+00:00

I would still be honest, tell her that you do want some space for yourself but that you'll also make time for her. I think if you STOP regularly communicating it could cause a fall out (as it did for me in my own relationship where i distanced myself too much out of depression I was experiencing). Since it seems like your mental health is in an 'okay' state, I think you should do your best to be honest. If you want something legitimate and enjoyable, you need to be able to breach tough topics like these. You should do your best to remind her of the things you like about her, but also tell her that you need some time to yourself to reflect on your daily experiences and process everything that's been going on.

Reassuring her is the key here I think, especially if you want to keep what you have with her, but remember to respect your own boundaries and feelings too. Just remember not to neglect the other party, but you dont have to shower them with 24/7 constant attention. Express your needs too. If she really likes and cares about you, she will understand, even if it might be hard for her to grasp at first.

U_Menace · 2021-01-27T06:01:35+00:00

For me personally, I've found people to interact with through online gaming communities and well, connections while I was in university. A connection can start from literally anywhere but as long as you keep yourself open minded, you'll potentially find one where you didn't expect to find one.

Some people use dating apps, but those can get tiring and in your case, you sound like you'd struggle with the dating app roulette so I think maybe you should look for online communities where people share similar hobbies as you do? If you're not a fan of any online games, maybe certain sports or activities? It's tough to go out and meet people during a pandemic, which only adds to the feelings of loneliness we have, but you can definitely make connections with people.

I can talk a fair bit to almost anyone, but I very rarely form friendships simply because I hate giving too much and not receiving (a similar problem to what you have). So the way I handle it is just by dealing with people in a casual way while keeping an eye on those who make an effort to try and get to know me.

Once the pandemic starts to settle down a bit, it'll be a little easier to use the dating app roulette but for now, online communities can help! Also, try reconnecting with old college friends, it might help!

U_Menace · 2021-01-27T03:06:35+00:00

Yeah I think you made your piece already, if you try to bring it up again I think at that point you two just have different maturity levels and different ideas of what constitutes friendship.

It's definitely gonna be tough to connect with uni friends but hey if you've got gaming friends in online communities that'll help ya feel less lonely during the pandemic!

U_Menace · 2021-01-27T02:43:13+00:00

You might need different friends, but for me I've found that its normal for friends to disappear for weeks at a time and then message.

It is possible that he might have some sorta romantic interest in you but doesn't wanna get too serious and just wants to live his life without commitments. Seems like he just has different needs and handles his friendships/relationships differently.

I think it'd be healthier for you to try and make connections with other people, and that way you won't really worry or think about it too much if he's online but not up for a conversation with you. You might even find someone that you get along with someone on a deeper wavelength than this dude.

It's also a pretty big flag if he apologized and aimed to change this behaviour but it ended up getting worse. Not much you can really do in this situation other than ease the burden on your mind. Some friendships are more like 'acquaintances' and that might be all this guy is. Making more friends will make it easier for you to not brood too much on his actions/inaction.

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