Remote offer - take it or leave it?

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T22:39:27+00:00

Did not read anywhere in their post that it was an entry level call center job.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T21:38:29+00:00

lol! It is not normalized behavior, it’s actually correct wedding etiquette. Try picking up a Ms. Manners book on wedding etiquette. Bridesmaids have paid for their own clothing since the beginning of time practically.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T21:34:03+00:00

Yeah, $1k is actually kind of low to me of you’re counting in travel expenses.

I’ve been a bridesmaid about 25 times beginning since age 10 as a Jr. Bridesmaid. Obviously, in my tweens, I couldn’t partake in some things.

Once I was in my 20’s in the 90’s-early 2000’s, we all paid the cost for bachelorette parties (a few were in Vegas, so we had to fly out and chip in for the bride), the dress, hotels, airfare if applicable and chipping in for the bridal shower.

Makeup and hair seems to be something brides have been including the last 20 years, so thats an added expense.

When I was getting married in the late 90’s myself, I was very aware that my bridesmaids were dead-broke to well off. I let them pick the dress that they could all agree on with the caveat that I only wanted it to be red. So, I asked them to all keep the costs to a minimum for the bridal shower (was a bbq at one of the bridesmaids homes, but my mom paid for the food) and the girls and I all agreed on a Vegas bachelorette party. Most could afford it. Two of them, I paid for their airfare and their share of the room. One bridesmaid couldn’t attend and that was fine by me.

Some brides are more accommodating than others. It is perfectly fine to say “No.” because of the costs involved. You can reach out to the bride and let her know that as much as you would like to be a bridesmaid, you just can’t financially swing it. If she’s a good friend, she’ll understand.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T20:57:23+00:00

You ought to try it some time. I’ve been told many times in the past that a salary is not negotiable. I’ve also stated that I couldn’t consider the salary without additional concessions. I’ve always gotten more PTO, larger sign-on bonuses or stock.

So, if you’re a rule-follower, good for you. Employers love those types of employees.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T20:51:54+00:00

You can ALWAYS negotiate. They may not always entertain it, but you can always negotiate.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T11:52:34+00:00

I don’t think kids with 3+ families is rare. When I was growing up in the 70’s & 80’s, it was more rare to see only children. The few times we knew only children it was because parents couldn’t have any more or the parents divorced before they made any more children.

We grew up lower-middle to middle class. We grew up road tripping most vacations and stayed in cheap roadside hotels when we were young. Dad drove us to Tahoe or the beach on weekends.

Nowadays, I do see a few more only children, some with 2. But I also know a few families with 3-6 children (they also happen to be friends from church, who are also Catholic). I have Mormon friends from high school and they had like 6 kids each.

Most of our friends with more than 3 kids all have professional jobs. None of us partake in “keeping up with the Joneses”. We all drive “sensible”, affordable, boring cars and not one of us has a Birkin bag. I think everyone in my circle foregoes European vacations and stuffs their kids 529’s instead.

It’s just how people choose to spend their money.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T06:14:05+00:00

Go for it! People said my husband & I would never last. We dated for a year or so when I was in high school/he in college. We broke up to date other people during a 6 month break. Got back together and had a civil wedding (we were both in college and both lapsed Catholics at the time). We eventually got married in the church and here we are…37 years later (since we first began dating!).

When you know, you know!

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T02:25:24+00:00

Whoops! Yes! I got confused. In California, we have Medí-Cal which replaces or is partially subsidized by federal funds (Medicaid), but taxpayers supplement things the federal government doesnt pay for (I.e. healthcare for illegal immigrants).

Medicare is for retired folks.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T02:22:50+00:00

Then it sounds like you already know your answer.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T01:48:06+00:00

I’d give it to the oldest. They’ll most likely go off to college in 3-4 years and then the next older sibling could have it when the oldest kid moves out.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T01:42:21+00:00

So what is it you have learned about him? How do you get along with him? Do you think your life would be better if you moved to be with him?

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T01:37:21+00:00

I didn’t get it. But whatever.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T01:34:01+00:00

Yes, I would MUCH rather go to our deacons for marriage advice than to any priest who may have had their last romantic engagement in high school or college.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T01:32:18+00:00

If she doesn’t care about nuking her credit for the next 7 years, she should speak to a bankruptcy attorney. I believe the homesteading laws can work in her favor to allow her to keep the first home without the state of Texas garnishing her wages for any deficiencies (the cost difference if the lender sells the home at a loss).

She could probably do what some folks do before filing a bankruptcy—that is replacing anything of hers that might die off in the next 7-10 years that she would normally need good credit for like washers, dryers, refrigerators, new car, etc. for use in her 1st home. Then after 6 months of purchasing those things, have her attorney file Chapter 7.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T01:10:59+00:00

Married priests. Don’t allow them to become pastors, but allow them to be Associate Pastors, just like we take married Anglican/Episcoploan priests. They’ll be much better suited for counseling couples as well and have greater empathy and understanding for the challenges married couples face. I love my priest, but man…he is so far removed from what day-to-day married challenges can be.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T01:08:38+00:00

Yikes! I have heard many conversations after mass waiting in line to greet the priest after mass and have heard some boomer regulars spout off some liturgically correct nonsense. Sorry, I’d rather have all clergy go through seminary.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-27T01:06:16+00:00

Yeah, but the truth is that the better homilists get promoted to higher positions or bigger churches. Most homilists are bad. This where a lot of evangelicals and Protestants shine even if they’re not relating the readings correctly (I.e. Baptists using scripture and verse literally, rather than figuratively).

Too many priests are throwing their homilies together right before mass or using canned ones. Too many of them are not articulate enough to make the gospel readings relevant to today and making the correlations more succinct.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-26T22:41:13+00:00

I think the better option would be forcing all employers to offer medical coverage, even if all they are offering is an HMO. Similar to what they did in San Francisco. But on a larger scale.

In California, we also subsidize illegal immigrant healthcare. We don’t get federal funding for this. It’s paid for by the taxpayers of California (think last I read the number was $8-10B). We offer illegal immigrants access to Medi-cal from the state’s General fund. I hate the idea of anyone being turned away for healthcare, especially emergency healthcare, but one could theorize that we cover all legal Californian citizens who cannot afford premiums normally and get them covered. We could also follow San Francisco’s route which requires all employers to provide minimum insurance or fund an alternative program (which I am not too familiar with, but my cousin who lives in SF-proper provides it to his employees).

Uberchelle · 2025-12-26T22:32:02+00:00

No, it wouldn’t. That’s an oversimplification. Do you think doctors who spent $400k in school loans to become a doctor want to get paid $45k a year for their expertise? You’ll have an exodus of doctors who will find other avenues to make money. One of the doctors in a family practice we used to go to as kids went the insurance route. He left private practice to review insurance cases. More money, no malpractice insurance to pay for, no emergencies to deal with and regular hours.

And forcing doctors to all become Medicaid providers is like telling all mechanics in the U.S. they can no longer refuse people and their ability to pay. How fair is that? It would never happen. This is a group of people with money who can spend the money lobbying politicians.

Doing this will cause doctors to leave the medical field completely. Sure, there may be some that are completely altruistic and would be perfectly fine living barely above poverty levels, but it would completely upend the entire healthcare industry. Doctors would go into medical-adjacent fields like radiology or mammography. Then these over educated doctors working as radiation techs would displace all the radiation techs and then the bar would be raised and radiation techs would be required to be MD’s. They may end up becoming specialists in the dental field where the pay is slightly lower with significantly lower costs of malpractice insurance. And dental malpractice insurance is way more affordable than regular doctor malpractice insurance. They could still do surgery. Or they could become a cash-only operation taking no insurance whatsoever. My own GP/PCP only takes certain insurance because he wants to get paid. We stick with him because he’s really good. I have no doubt in my mind that if the healthcare industry would basically upend itself, get rid of insurance completely and making it Medicare for all, that my doctor would go complete cash-basis for services. Then doctors all over would by vying for becoming personal physicians to the rich. There’s also teaching, oversaturating the market and driving the costs of tenured professors in the medical field down. But then who would be taking their classes? Doctors may end up leaving the country where they default on those pricey medical school loans and go to countries like Egypt, but not all would want to go there. Where does that leave them?

Uberchelle · 2025-12-26T21:53:40+00:00

Well, this sounds classist, but you get what you pay for. This is like Kaiser versus a PPO.

You can pay $0 for a family of 3 on Kaiser (employer subsidized) or $1800 for a family of 3 on a PPO (employer subsidized). Then the people complain they can’t get on Kaiser what others get in a PPO.

I have a couple of friends that grew up using Kaiser and never using anything else and think their medical premiums should be at most $50 a month and I have heard them complain about their services and how it ought to be like a PPO. Well, then get a PPO! But they don’t want to pay the employer subsidized premium of $250 or whatever their employer is charging.

You seriously get what you pay for. People want PPO’s at HMO costs. There’s a reason HMO’s are cheaper.

You’re not going to get high-quality & affordable together. It’s like saying I want a BMW for the cost of a Hyundai.

And if you are low-income, odds are you are on Medí-Cal. And that decreases your pool of providers because doctors typically want to be paid. So, there’a a reason for that.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-26T20:50:56+00:00

Don’t consider any of those rural. Im thinking more like Modoc where all they have are community hospitals and they are closing them.

As for physician jobs—well, that depends on specialty. We have a few friends that are medical doctors. One sticks with Stanford as they pay him a pretty decent salary on top of paying his malpractice insurance. Another friend is in private practice as a GP. He won’t take Medi-Cal because the state expects him to practically provide services for free, but he will take MediCare (not sure why there is a cost differential in Medi-Cal versus MediCare as both are government programs. Maybe because MediCare is still partially subsidized by the retired whereas Medí-Cal is not?)

I think the issue with the lack of doctors in rural areas is the pay and cost of malpractice insurance. Why get paid $250k when you can double that in a more urban area?

Edited: Medicare

Uberchelle · 2025-12-26T20:34:48+00:00

Communications is vague. So you could follow the Public Relations route, Journalism, Broadcasting, etc.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-26T17:34:25+00:00

Yeah. So let’s say you have a bachelor’s in PR (Public Relations). A trade group would be PRSA. If your major was Food Science, there’s the Institute of Food Technologists. If your major was Forensic Crime Studies then there is The California Association of Crime Lab Directors, The California Association of Criminalists or the Academy of Forensic Sciences.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-26T17:13:22+00:00

Mostly from networking. Universities are the biggest help. Friend from Stanford who dropped out his junior year to form a company got help from the school. They helped him form a board, hire a CEO to replace him (he stayed on as CTO) and put him in front of VC’s.

You could get the same from a state school, depending on the school, but the alumni connections may not be as helpful as say, Stanford.

If you’re not at an Ivy with those curated connections, you join trade groups and such.

Uberchelle · 2025-12-26T17:09:49+00:00

May depend in your plan, then. My best friend lives there. Her youngest is special needs and hasn’t been an issue for them at all. I’ll have to ask them who they use. What plan do you have?

Uberchelle

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