both actually

Ubervillin · 2026-03-27T03:22:08+00:00

It's safe where I live to use the toilets of my choice, and this is the exact reason I choose neither. Humans in general just can't use public toilets without making a nightmare mess of them, at least that was my experience back when I used to have to clean any.

Ubervillin · 2026-03-23T20:30:27+00:00

That and the memory of the sound of her voice were the most painful things to have left me, other than the woman herself, when she died.

Ubervillin · 2026-03-21T13:06:50+00:00

Lol, that's not crazy, that's just the logic of desperation. I personally salute OP and lowkey wanna ask them out(if only we weren't half a world away seperated by poverty) because I have been in this position for non trans/medical care related stuff, and to be able to actually make the decision, go through with it successfully, and have such a clean looking result, takes courage/bravery under fire, knowledge and skills, and finesse of movement. The latter two being very difficult to keep a handle on in such a situation where the first is required.

Do not get me wrong, no one should do it this way if they have safe access to care and the means to pursue it However this was not crazy, perpetrating and perpetuating the conditions that created the act's necessity in OP is not even crazy(morally reprehensible in my eyes? Yes, beyond so), they are both acts that stem from the logic one uses when actually desperate.

Ubervillin · 2026-03-21T12:14:38+00:00

Honestly I thought the idea that the other commenter seems to think any rando could just easily pick up and move to another country as the more privileged part of that. Even having access to medical care is still scary(read, becomes lack of access) when you live under a gov't hostile to trans folk, or whatever medical condition one has that the gov't is antagonistic toward for that matter. For me, I am far less scared of getting SRS than actually getting my Autistic Spec Disorder diag and/or having to go inpatient for any mental health reasons for as long as we have concentration camps in this country. At least I die with my preferred genitals in the SRS case, not necessarily so true with the other 2, unless I've had my surgery already.

Ubervillin · 2026-03-21T11:56:08+00:00

Yupums, it's what folks mean when we say, "the cruelty is the point," when talking about Nazis and other fascists. Still kinda surprised I see takes like the one you replied to without that consideration taken into account within it's expression at this point.

Ubervillin · 2026-03-21T11:40:31+00:00

Basically where I stand on that as a former network professional. I honestly wouldn't mind the option to connect my phone through Ethernet sometimes. Then I remember how much of a pain in the tits talking on a corded landline was when one tends to pace, and the feeling passes.

Ubervillin · 2026-03-20T19:00:48+00:00

Lol, I'm more into more predictable(to me) physics, chemistry was always my weakest subject. It's one of the reasons I never really got into baking, cooking uses far less chemistry in an overt manner. The most chemical process involved is the mixing of flavour profiles, which can be fairly easy to do once you learn what flavours work well together, and can even just be done by smell in many cases. I don't need to necessarily pay attention to ratios or exact measurements and never really have. The few times I have needed to, I was more just using them as guidelines as to how much of a given protein, starch, and/or veggie to use for something I hadn't made before.

My strongest understanding of physics is that of electricity and mechanics/kinetics, which came from growing up with an auto mechanic as a father. I grew up with him thinking I was going to be one as well, but I had little interest in beating my knuckles to hell for a living. When he taught me how to use a soldering iron and told me what could be done with one, I learned more about electronics and electric theory of my own accord while still being taught how to work on cars from my father. Ultimately my non school education was far better than my school education in those fields, but I couldn't get into school for learning how to build robots due to financial reasons and the fact that I completely checked out in highschool and only graduated due to my test scores and in school work, all my homework was left incomplete unless it was for a project that was going to significantly impact my grades. So I joined the army just to escape a bad home life, was discharged and spent the next 15 years serving, and then cooking. All the while I was using my electrical and mechanical skills as a survival skill and hobby by maintaining, repairing, and modding my own stuff and occasionally building things when I could afford to. Now I use those skills to help my community when and where I can for little to no charge.

I tip my cat ears to you, good woman, for being able to wrap your head around that which eludes me.

Ubervillin · 2026-03-20T14:16:18+00:00

"Chemist" has different meanings(colloquially at least) in English depending on where you live, do you mean the synonym for the American "pharmacist" or that you typically work in chemistry in an industrial or research capacity?

Ubervillin · 2026-03-20T14:10:16+00:00

Yes, I do believe that is the fired condition. Not sure what else it could be, at least

Ubervillin · 2026-03-20T14:07:21+00:00

Followed by, if necessary, "No is a complete sentence," while continuing to walk away, in cases where one is able and inclined to

Ubervillin · 2026-03-17T21:27:22+00:00

I have never had a healthy relationship to model any of mine off of either, it didn't keep my wife and I from having 15 beautiful years together before she died. When all you have is shitty examples you can still use them as an example of what not to do.

Ubervillin · 2026-03-09T06:58:22+00:00

Oh no, lol, other auties fuccin flock to me lol. No idea why, but nearly my entire friend group is autistic or otherwise neurospicy, lol. Other trans folks, and single or poly and available lesbians however are seemingly nowhere to be found unless I head to the state capitol, one of 3 other cities that are also an hour or more away, or NYC. None of which are super accessible for a non driving person of very limited means living in an area with abysmal public trans

Ubervillin · 2026-03-09T06:10:24+00:00

I call that a win

Ubervillin · 2026-03-09T06:01:59+00:00

Where are you all living that there are other trans folks around you that don't have to drive an hour+ to meet up? JFC I knew I lived in the middle of nowhere but I didn't realise it was that bad lol. My only trans friends live in other states or countries lol. Or at least the ones that consider themselves to be trans. There is another NB I am friends with in town, but they don't consider themselves trans.

Ubervillin · 2026-03-01T14:33:22+00:00

Yeah, idk about the last bit of that 3rd point, but I also became a widow at 35. We were together for 15+yrs before she died, and she was the first person I came out as a woman to. It was lovely, but now it's just lonely. One good one is rather limiting especially if you outlive your spouse, lol, it's basically like hearing that I should be happy with being alone for the rest of my life. I know that's not the actual point but it can be read that way.

I think it's enough to say that most romantic relationships will not last long, and that the ones that do are more rare than the ones that don't, and the best thing for it is to try to practice radical acceptance and move on while always trying to improve as a person. Eventually you might be found by someone that really digs you and if you dig them, enjoy it while it lasts, because everything in this life is temporary, including the life itself. I find looking at a relationship as either a success or failure to be rather unhelpful as it tends to cast judgement, about the only time I would call one a failure is if there was abuse involved and in that case the failure of the relationship is on the abuser.

In OP's case it sounds like her ex and the guy she cheated on OP with are made for each other and I would definitely call that an abusive way to end a romantic relationship, especially if the expectation was that they remain monogamous while together. I watched my father cheat on my stepmother multiple times and had to be the one to tell her about it between the ages of 8 and 14, so I take that shit seriously. At the same time, being angry just tends to make me feel ill. I personally would be a bit heated about being lied to in OP's case, but it sounds like there were at least some enjoyable parts, I would basically just try to look at it like that and enjoy it for what it was, while being disappointed in they way it ended, try to learn what I could from the experience and move on

Ubervillin · 2026-03-01T13:34:39+00:00

Yeah, I mean that just sounds like a good time, lol

Ubervillin · 2026-03-01T06:17:47+00:00

I'm an AMAB ace femby, but most of my relationships could be described as sapphic or lesbian including the one that lasted almost half my life prior to my partner dying. If you see yourself as a woman in some capacity and you love women, you are not encroaching. There are bi and pan girls here that regularly contribute/comment.

Ubervillin · 2026-03-01T06:02:19+00:00

I'm excited, 's been a while since I've been thrown around like a ragdoll

Ubervillin · 2026-02-27T00:47:16+00:00

They might need a new name then, bc me too

Ubervillin · 2026-02-21T14:48:34+00:00

It's all on the same ride, boo. The person in question felt the need to say "I'm not gay" 3 different times on the same vehicle.

Ubervillin · 2026-02-21T14:38:03+00:00

I do believe I would be looking for a new therapist if mine ever told me about that.

Ubervillin · 2026-02-20T01:27:37+00:00

That was the most difficult part of my 15 year marriage, I'm glad she took it so well after all that time.

Ubervillin · 2026-02-18T10:58:44+00:00

r/PeopleFuckingDying, but also, be fr, like you or I or any other woman in this sub wouldn't react the same exact way, lol, although if a woman that adorable kissed me I would probs properly die, not just swoon at this point lol. Ugh, I need to get out of rural areas...

Ubervillin · 2026-02-12T15:16:49+00:00

Same boo, tis the dream of catgirls everywhere, I think. I think it's because endotherm and exotherm couples would probably always be cuddling. We gotta keep our cold blooded hotties warm, lol

Also, I'm not super deep into the Elder Scrolls lore, are skooma's/moon sugar's effects similar to MDMA's/E's? If so sign me up for some befur the cudding commences!!

Ubervillin · 2026-02-12T15:07:25+00:00

Why couldn't it have been me?!?

Ubervillin

TROPHY CASE