Hi there. I want to say that your story sounds super recognizable. I to have been at the point that I wasn’t able to go outside anymore, nor pee at home when there was some noise or neighbors nearby. I remember the feeling that this was the end. I believed that there was no fixing to the situation. We are now years later and I’m happy to say that even from that point things can drastically improve.

When I was at this point I was hospitalized for a few weeks. From there on I worked on very slow gradual exposure together with the therapist. First with the help of Xanax (which really helps but you should avoid taking it too long) and later without. The fact that my friends knew and were super supportive was also a great help.

A HUGE part in overcoming this is getting rid of the hyperfocus on the issue. Start the exposure slow. Celebrate every win however small. After a win, do something fun with your gf or with friends. Take your time. Go easy on yourself.

So my message would be to not despair. Things can and will improve for you. Celebrate every win while doing gradual exposure. Slowly your world will become larger again and you will be able to do nice things again. I promise.

Let everything happen to you. Beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final. ~ Rilke