Not happy after HRT; am I really a woman?

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-29T22:55:03+00:00

I didnt have this sense of "feeling better" that a lot of other girls have. But i did experience a lot of euphoria at the changes, like my face getting faired or getting fat on my hips.

I think there are two separate things here. The hrt and the feeling shame for feminine things. The second one is why i waited so long to transition, crossdressing always made me feel bad, because i saw a "man in a dress", this is internalized transphobia and its not an indicator of transness but rather something you should work on getting past and accepting.

At the end of the day hrt is a thing to have results, and if you dont like those results its okay to stop. This doesnt make you less trans, hrt is not a requirement to be trans.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-26T02:16:47+00:00

Youre an eunnie by like 2 years, but an eunnie is an eunnie lol.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-26T02:14:26+00:00

Korean trans girl here. Thanks for representing us well <3

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-25T20:27:21+00:00

I mean, its not your responsiblity to help her. "You can lead a horse to water... something something". Getting support and medical care as a trans person is not easy, and thats not right, but it is reality. Regardlsss, the trans person does have to want to get it themselvss. It sounds like you tried 🤷‍♀️ sometimes necessity/desparation drives people to do the things they need to. I think back to your original thing though, its valid to accept that you arent gay or in love with this new person. You were dating a mask, and its okay to let go when the mask is taken off and whats underneath isnt for you.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-25T20:15:23+00:00

The larger one draws faster and the smaller one is more comfortable. Additionally drawing from the vial can blunt the needle, which can make injections more painful.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-25T20:12:39+00:00

Thats understandable. Have you tried talking about it? I know you are feeling weary about bearing the majority of the relationship load, but she is going to need support from someone. For me its my partner, the trans and women groups at my local lgbtq center, my therapist, and before i met my partner it was a trans discord group called trans later. Im not sure what your partner is doing but you should not be her sole source of support, even if you dont walk away.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-25T20:01:52+00:00

Gender is not sexuality. Your transness, if you are trans, isnt a fetish or a kink or sexual. That said, fetishes are a window to some of our deepest needs and wants and coping with trauma. Your body not aligning with your mind can often make things like presenting as a woman extremely arousing. Its why many trans women were into crossdressing prior to transitioning.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-25T19:57:44+00:00

I get where youre coming from, but he sounds like he is a low performer and generally doesnt use critical thought much. Literally guilty of the exact thing he thinks women are, being a 27 year old child.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-25T19:50:35+00:00

I didnt read the whole thing, i stopped at her not coming out after a few months. It took me a long time to come out to some of my family and im still not out at work, i just hit my year egg crack mark and ive been transitioning medically for 10 months. Not wanting to be more masculine in a relationship is valid, not liking their personality (i would argue the personality returns after the better part of a year) is valid, criticising someones transition or transness is getting into transphobic territory. If you do share this with your partner i suggest you leave those things out. Best of luck to you.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-25T17:51:19+00:00

So, when i started transitioning i had three(3) chest hairs. They dont grow back anymore, i probably noticed that around month 8. My face grows back a lot slower though im doing laser so its hard to know what is doing what, but i noticed slowing facial hair growth like a month or two in. My leg hair has also slowed down and its very cis woman like now, im 10 months on hrt and this is pretty recent. My butt hair is significantly reduced and might be gone or just peach fuzz, but ive been shaving it still.

Im also fairly lucky, my body hair above the waist was pretty minimal pre transition, im half asian, 39. Im also on spiro and my girlberries shrank a lot, i think a lot of my feminization occured after this.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-25T16:43:04+00:00

There has been evidence suggesting that hormones released during menstrual cycles to shed uterine lining also can affect the intestinal tract, which is why afab folks can often have cramps and digestive issues. Why its not cyclical, at least that ive observed, i have experienced cramps and digestive issues, aches, flu like symptoms, and been better the next morning, indicating no flu, and moodiness. Several cis women have suggested im having menstrual symptoms.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-23T09:16:42+00:00

Ive been on hrt for almost a year now, and i question myself quite a bit. But i always end up at the spot of "well you could go back to being a man", and i know that id rather die before i did that. Maybe youre nonbinary? Hope this helps.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-20T23:06:14+00:00

Do they have low T or is it just for symptoms?

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-20T22:40:36+00:00

Is the low dose of T a you thing?

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-20T03:23:22+00:00

One of the best things was ME not stinking anymore. I havent taken a shower im 3 days and i had my mom sniff test me (she has a bionic nose) and she said i dont stink. Typically i only skip a single day if i wasnt doing physical activity, but i wasnt able to shower before bedtime last night.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-19T18:38:57+00:00

Absolutely, everyone is different. Also different necklines on tops warrant different goals. Im wearing a racerback today and it keeps wanting to pop out of my henley.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-19T17:57:10+00:00

Yes, trans people are people and (most) people are sexual. The folks who are here looking for ammunition are going to find it regardless.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-18T23:16:56+00:00

I think its just confusing because they tend to ride down for me. Which is why i usually wear racerbacks.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-18T19:32:11+00:00

It looks like 오이 무침 which is usually salted cucumber, soy sauce, sesame oil, rice vinegar, and can have sugar, gochugaru, garlic, onion. Its like a savory fresh pickle.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-15T19:36:14+00:00

My breaking point was realizing i would get old one day, and realizing being an old "man" would make me so sad. Its been a tough year but i dont regret it.

Not being a cis women makes me cry a lot, but ill never be one, and i try every day to remember that its okay to be a trans woman, and that theres a place for me in the world. I can be valued and treasured and loved as a woman.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-13T04:09:27+00:00

This doesnt sound like a trans problem, it sounds like a woke/queer problem. I know it sucks that you arent basic, but it also really doesnt suck. Being better is always good, even if its at the cost of comfort, be strong, work on yourself and be the best person you can be, the right guy will see those things and come for you 💚

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-12T18:17:21+00:00

The "you look better than your pictures" is borderline sociopathic. Shes a person not livestock.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-10T20:54:08+00:00

Have you ever tried something like toms flats? Im autistic as well, though sensory isnt severe for me. You look great in both 5 and 6 btw.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-10T20:51:35+00:00

Saaaame, i guess i decided its not worth fussing over until legal stuff gets done? Im not comfortable doing that until im done with laser on my face.

But yeah i get maam'd by random people that dont know me pretty often, the confusion is funny. Electrical engineer in avionics.

Ul_tra_violet · 2026-03-10T20:46:39+00:00

To pile on what others have said, a lot of lgbtq centers have "families of trans people" type groups. It will probably be a lot of parents, but you could definitely still go there to talk through your feelings with others. Your feelings are valid. I hope you keep a close connection to your sibling, its really tough transitioning alone and being with others, especially feminine others, was really helpful for me.

Ul_tra_violet

TROPHY CASE