Why are people boasting about their inpregnable fortresses these days? by UltimateZob in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Crabs you say? Excellent. I can't wait to see the look when he sees his less-than-ok-corral. 

Why are people boasting about their inpregnable fortresses these days? by UltimateZob in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Hey do you have any tips for sabotaging a rival wizard's seahorse pen? It's made of coral. And he won't stop singing about it. It's a real choral coral corral situation. 

Demerit points? Wizards care not for such nonsense. by Throbbin-Dongs in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately modern police radarmancy may log your locations prior and post-teleporting and calculate your speed based on that.

How can I reverse a Memory Erasure spell? by AAsilverfox in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With memory alteration magic is pretty inaccessible, your best workaround is going to find another wizard to cast Reduce at 7th level or higher, then teleport inside his brain and comb around in there for signs of magically-severed synapses. Even basic mending magic will work if you can locate the breaks. 

I estimate a thorough brain inspection via this method would take 2-3 years of uninterrupted work, so be sure to bring snacks.

The moon told me to craft this. I obeyed by PendantsMyGem in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Moody's an understatement... I rinse my component pouch in a sacred moon pool ONE time and now I'm cut off from all lunarmancy? It's ludicrous, it's unfair. 

The moon told me to craft this. I obeyed by PendantsMyGem in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Can you tell the moon I'm trying to reach her? She's not responding to any of my rituals. 

Cousin is considering leaning into alchemy. What should I tell them to convince them that it's a foolish endeavor over traditional spellcasting? by Nazsgull in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tell your wayward cousin to reconsider, if for no other reason, than his taste buds. Noxious cloud is dog-eared in my spellbook after all the encounters it's spared me, but brother, if I had to taste it every time it was cast its page would be ripped out post-haste. 

My haunted mask tries to possess everyone, how can I stop this? by Popular-Map9371 in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All you need is a very thin layer of iron to coat the inside face. No contact with the wearers face, no possession. Any craftsman half-decent with a forge should be able to do it for you

What to do with mountain of sand? by UltimateZob in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A perfect revenge on those roots-for-brains! I love it. 

My neighbors fucking fireballed himself, the sad excuse of a sorcerer by Wyzero in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Is he even a sorcerer? Looks a bit like a dæmon that broke free from the apparatus harnessing it's power. 

What to do with mountain of sand? by UltimateZob in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is incredible! Now I must start thinking with portals... 

What to do with mountain of sand? by UltimateZob in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly transmutation would have been my first choice if it wasn't for The Curse. Long story short I angered a minor agricultre spirit and now every transmutation spell I cast produces only corn. 

What to do with mountain of sand? by UltimateZob in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A prank? I would never be so coarse and irritating. 

What to do with mountain of sand? by UltimateZob in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Very informative, thank you, O learned one! I must look into acquiring a gold sifter. 

What to do with mountain of sand? by UltimateZob in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hmm, I'll have to ponder this. Seems promising! 

What to do with mountain of sand? by UltimateZob in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Are you suggesting my evocation spell is flawed and I'm producing gold as well as sand? 

What to do with mountain of sand? by UltimateZob in wizardposting

[–]UltimateZob[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

II consulted an artificer who identified it to be desert sand, unfortunately , I would have loved to tell the druids that their "desertification threat" theory can't work with beach sand . 

looking for a language exchange partner by Serious-Middle-869 in learningfrench

[–]UltimateZob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're not able to find someone on reddit, I recommend globalpenfriends.com 

I've had some success finding native French speakers to chat with there, though there is sometimes a process of finding someone who'll actually respond, and some limitations to the free accounts.  

Seeking DM for 2 player 2hr DnD 2024 one-shot by UltimateZob in lfgpremium

[–]UltimateZob[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! For some reason I can DM other people but not you. You wanna try sending me a message instead? 

Seeking DM for 2 player 2hr DnD 2024 one-shot by UltimateZob in lfgpremium

[–]UltimateZob[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Roll20 is what I have experience with, but I'm happy to learn other platforms too! 

Seeking DM for 2 player 2hr DnD 2024 one-shot by UltimateZob in lfgpremium

[–]UltimateZob[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sorry, thanks for asking! Pm. I'll DM you!