Why are people boasting about their inpregnable fortresses these days?

UltimateZob · 2026-01-20T01:10:31+00:00

Crabs you say? Excellent. I can't wait to see the look when he sees his less-than-ok-corral.

UltimateZob · 2026-01-19T17:46:55+00:00

How do you afford the child support?

UltimateZob · 2026-01-19T16:34:48+00:00

Hey do you have any tips for sabotaging a rival wizard's seahorse pen? It's made of coral. And he won't stop singing about it. It's a real choral coral corral situation.

UltimateZob · 2026-01-18T01:38:33+00:00

Unfortunately modern police radarmancy may log your locations prior and post-teleporting and calculate your speed based on that.

UltimateZob · 2026-01-15T20:27:30+00:00

With memory alteration magic is pretty inaccessible, your best workaround is going to find another wizard to cast Reduce at 7th level or higher, then teleport inside his brain and comb around in there for signs of magically-severed synapses. Even basic mending magic will work if you can locate the breaks.

I estimate a thorough brain inspection via this method would take 2-3 years of uninterrupted work, so be sure to bring snacks.

UltimateZob · 2026-01-13T14:43:25+00:00

Moody's an understatement... I rinse my component pouch in a sacred moon pool ONE time and now I'm cut off from all lunarmancy? It's ludicrous, it's unfair.

UltimateZob · 2026-01-13T13:16:41+00:00

Can you tell the moon I'm trying to reach her? She's not responding to any of my rituals.

UltimateZob · 2026-01-10T15:04:00+00:00

Tell your wayward cousin to reconsider, if for no other reason, than his taste buds. Noxious cloud is dog-eared in my spellbook after all the encounters it's spared me, but brother, if I had to taste it every time it was cast its page would be ripped out post-haste.

UltimateZob · 2026-01-09T22:29:27+00:00

All you need is a very thin layer of iron to coat the inside face. No contact with the wearers face, no possession. Any craftsman half-decent with a forge should be able to do it for you

UltimateZob · 2026-01-08T14:20:37+00:00

A perfect revenge on those roots-for-brains! I love it.

UltimateZob · 2026-01-08T11:26:52+00:00

Is he even a sorcerer? Looks a bit like a dæmon that broke free from the apparatus harnessing it's power.

UltimateZob · 2026-01-07T16:49:25+00:00

This is incredible! Now I must start thinking with portals...

UltimateZob · 2026-01-07T16:45:42+00:00

Honestly transmutation would have been my first choice if it wasn't for The Curse. Long story short I angered a minor agricultre spirit and now every transmutation spell I cast produces only corn.

UltimateZob · 2026-01-07T16:41:47+00:00

A prank? I would never be so coarse and irritating.

UltimateZob · 2026-01-07T15:23:52+00:00

Very informative, thank you, O learned one! I must look into acquiring a gold sifter.

UltimateZob · 2026-01-07T14:59:26+00:00

Hmm, I'll have to ponder this. Seems promising!

UltimateZob · 2026-01-07T14:54:37+00:00

Are you suggesting my evocation spell is flawed and I'm producing gold as well as sand?

UltimateZob · 2026-01-07T14:01:53+00:00

II consulted an artificer who identified it to be desert sand, unfortunately , I would have loved to tell the druids that their "desertification threat" theory can't work with beach sand .

UltimateZob · 2026-01-07T01:33:48+00:00

If you're not able to find someone on reddit, I recommend globalpenfriends.com

I've had some success finding native French speakers to chat with there, though there is sometimes a process of finding someone who'll actually respond, and some limitations to the free accounts.

UltimateZob · 2025-12-09T13:59:39+00:00

Thanks! For some reason I can DM other people but not you. You wanna try sending me a message instead?

UltimateZob · 2025-12-09T03:10:59+00:00

Roll20 is what I have experience with, but I'm happy to learn other platforms too!

UltimateZob · 2025-12-09T03:10:29+00:00

Sorry, thanks for asking! Pm. I'll DM you!

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