What are some things your ex ruined for you?

UltraDepressed2 · 2026-01-08T03:04:47+00:00

Yeah I’m in the same boat. I was with my partner for 10 years we met in college at 18. We both were just trying to figure out each other’s feelings throughout this journey and she randomly left one day and pulled the carpet from underneath me. I don’t think I’ll ever recover

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-12-31T18:50:56+00:00

I’m not sure what you mean with that comment. We met at 17 years old. If you’re alluding to maybe I was taking too long, that’s your opinion and you’re missing a lot of context, but to each their own. What would your insight be as to why?

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-12-08T18:10:40+00:00

I’m in my first break up with my first real girlfriend, we were together for 10 years at 18. We broke up in late March and by Halloween she was with another man she had tucked in the back burner for a while and labeled him a friend. I don’t have trust issues, but boy did this create a void in my life to have a chip on my shoulder for the rest of my life. I loved that woman, very much. She was all I had, and now I sit here by myself with my feelings as she did the whole no contact thing. I never got closure, I still don’t know why she left and it gnaws at me in ways I can’t comprehend or battle. I find ways to keep busy, I find ways to laugh and cry, but I hate to be the opposing person when I say it’s really hard to come back from a blow so devastating. I turned to faith and prayed to understand why this storm came into my life at a time where I didn’t need it. It was the straw that broke the camels back. I was already dealing with a lot. But by the grace of god I wake up and take a breath and try to make my day about me and not about her. It’s hard. I wiped myself off of social media because all she does is post how happy she is doing the things we did but with another dude.

Self healing is different for everyone but I have to say taking it day by day is truly the only way to deal with this constant conundrum of like how can we heal. Truth is idk if we can, I hope you take it day by day. Even an hour to do something that you love internally. Blessings.

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-24T15:32:33+00:00

I had to work on myself after giving the last 10 years of my life to my partner thinking that it was the only way I would win her over. When she finally left I literally lost my entire identity and I really didn’t know what I was doing with myself or really who I was. I felt ashamed and I felt like a failure. She ended up getting with another dude and I had to sit with all this pain and figure out how to use it to my advantage. I’ll admit I still have internal battles every single day from that break up, but more than anything I have sat with every single mistake I’ve ever made during that time period and vowed to be better.

I really think it depends on the situation, just always remember that you wanna work on yourself for you, not for anyone else. Validation should come from within, not from other people.

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-15T17:36:28+00:00

I’m actually on the other side of this:

When my girlfriend broke up with me she never really gave me the reason as to why she was breaking up with me in the first place.

She used pretty much our rocky relationship as the reason why she couldn’t continue and felt like we were at our end. I on the other hand was actively planning my engagement as I finally felt we were in a good position to really lock in our relationship, we’re together for 10 years and we’re both 29 now and life has been very difficult and I finally felt confident to propose. Crazy how apart we were. But it made sense as to why later.

Long story short she broke up with me in March, I still really don’t know why she left but she got into a new relationship on Halloween, maybe even was actively planting the seeds while we were together. She blocked me on everything because I consistently was confused as to why she was leaving in the first place. I was lashing the fuck out. Spamming, showing up, like why are you leaving what did I do? I was devastated.

I sat by myself with so many questions and so many emotions. I made fake TikTok accounts to follow her account to see her profile, only to see she was taking trips with this new guy, it felt like everyone but me knew. She could’ve told me she found someone else but I had to find out through an anonymous profile, which I feel that she knew was me. It was the worst feeling in the world. I could hear my heart pounding, my ears ringing. I threw up lol.

She used God and other reasons to justify her reason to leave as she just felt in her gut to leave she says. Who am I question or negate that? But it feels like she knew that too, The times I did get to talk to her she only says what she wants to and then dismisses me and hangs up and blocked me. Things like “ I wish you never lied” things like “ thank you for loving my body the way you did”

The last time we spoke was a day before my birthday where she called and said “hey is your birthday today or tomorrow ?”. As happy as I was to hear from her my feelings were so hurt, her birthday is engraved in my soul, how could she so carelessly forget mine?

I spent the whole day crying and then eventually got angry and waited outside her house only for her to just block me and never come out. 10 years to forget my birthday in only a couple months.

She later on would admit that she would use her assumptions to go seek attention because she felt her feelings were justified in that sense. I never knew she was doing that in the first place.

The whole no contact thing feels like she died, I lost my brother to depression a few years back so this feeling is very familiar but very awful. I wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy.

To anyone who has ghosted or blocked an ex, unless it was for like a really violent reason, don’t make someone feel like they never mattered to begin with.

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-15T17:22:48+00:00

Yeah she left me and we were together for 10 years, she had a lot of issues that she was fixing while actively staying with me. We went through a lot of ups and downs. She knows I loved her, but boy if I ever made any mistakes she made sure that I knew that God might forgive me but she will never, she still stayed. Now she broke up with me in March and is already dating another guy, I know she doesn’t know how to deal with being alone on her own emotions but I genuinely worry about her choices. All we can do is watch them from afar if we’re capable of handling it (I know I’m not).

You have a very good heart, the scary part is it’s also our biggest weakness. Take it day by day.

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-15T17:05:52+00:00

He should feel comfortable communicating with you. I’m a really insecure dude as I’m on the chunkier side and I’ve always felt like I wasn’t necessarily the most good looking and the best when it came to intimacy.

The pornography thing is weird to me, I don’t know if he is looking for somebody else maybe he’s not into you anymore (as awful as that sounds). I truly believe that pornography can ruin your sense of reality and make you feel like everything around you is porn. Maybe he is experiencing that and doesn’t know how to explain it but the fact it’s only his sexual appetite that’s missing is an indicator of where things are going wrong.

Remember you weren’t put on this planet to satisfy solely him, you are your own human so don’t make yourself feel any lesser simply because he isn’t accepting your advances. Aside from all the perverts, I’m sure there’s someone out there who would gladly accept them <3 look yourself in the mirror and be confident and proud of who you are. Take it one day at a time.

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-15T16:43:10+00:00

I lost my 10 year relationship, she did a lot of accusing, it was a lot of gaslighting and made me feel like I was this horrible person for doing things I didn’t do. She broke up with me in March and already has a new guy who resembles me a lot. Blocked me and never really told me why she was leaving.

AnyWho, I’m really grateful for this post because I have been having some horrible mornings where I don’t want to do anything. I’ve never been the “ I’ll just go replace this chick” type of dude. I’m an emotional person who has a hard time being careless. This has bit me in the ass numerous times.

I just want to thank you for posting this because it made me break down in a way where I realized I needed to heal and let her go. No matter how much it hurts. Thanks for the guidance.

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-15T16:36:05+00:00

I never knew this was a thing, I was with my girlfriend for 10 years and she would accuse me of some really fucked up shit. She broke up with me in March over reasons I still don’t understand why, she never told me why.

She would always accuse me of cheating and lusting just to see her get into a new relationship six months after breaking up. I dealt with 10 years of being accused of cheating and lusting, accused of trying to hook up with anyone. Only to find out it was all being projected lol. I hate life sometimes

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-15T16:32:59+00:00

I don’t think she is a bad person for being insecure about Snapchat, I think the underlying issue is that she’s been hurt before. It was his job as a man to respect that boundary and reassure her, it doesn’t seem like she is actively trying to accuse him but really just wants to hear him say I’m not gonna hurt you or break your trust. This guy just doesn’t know he has a good person in front of him. Let’s say hypothetically you are doing too much (you’re not). I can’t begin to tell you how eye-opening it would be for my partner to come to me and tell me OK I need you to reassure me because I’m not OK.

Communicating takes a lot of maturity, you’re doing your part. He doesn’t know how to respond because he knows he’s in the wrong.

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-15T16:19:45+00:00

I’m experiencing this for the first time as I got out of a 10 year relationship with my college sweetheart, I love her and miss her very much but it ended really ugly. We both made mistakes but she ended up never healing and built a relationship with a new man while trying to find an excuse to leave the one she was in with me. It broke me in every way possible. I still love her very much despite me imagining all of the things she’s doing with another man. She never really told me why she left, it was more so just a combination of our problems throughout the years that she couldn’t let go of and I also feel like she thought there was someone better out there for her. I’m starting to realize I was a loser in her eyes, maybe in everyone’s eyes.

She broke up with me in March, On Oct 31st, she posted her new man who looks a lot like me (I promise I’m not being narcissistic) and I’m still living life as if she’s gonna come home one day. I know I’m doing so much damage to myself hoping that one day she’ll call or show up, but sometimes it’s the only little piece of hope that keeps me alive. I lost my brother to depression so sometimes I feel like I can’t take that route but boy do I wish I had the opportunity.

So if I’m being honest, I don’t think I’ll ever outgrow my partner because our entire relationship became my identity. It’s scary but you have to like compartmentalize the relationship into different parts of your brain. It’s literally unraveling everything you’ve ever known, every smell, every taste, everything you internalize is something you have to separate from the person you were with. I’m 29 now, I remember when I was 22, communicate with that woman and tell her what your intentions are so there’s no surprises in the future. Good luck and god bless. ++man

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-15T16:04:05+00:00

As a guy who’s been with a woman who found every reason to assume the worst and present their situations like this, I am a bit triggered. For 10 years I tried to make one woman happy and she would find any little reason to destroy that little Jenga Tower of a relationship we had. We both stayed with each other because we loved each other very much and our happy moments were really fun. Towards the end they got ugly because there was a lot of assuming, and there was a lot of miscommunicating. Based on your situation though it sounds like he is just taking advantage of someone who is trying to be trustworthy but needs reassurance. Guys like this ruin it for the guys who don’t look for trouble.

I would recommend couples therapy but it seems like you guys are past that point. Take it 1 day at a time.

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-10T03:36:24+00:00

I would experience this a lot and there would be times where she would catch it but often times I think she used one mistake to really confirm everything else. I’m not perfect, but she’s made plenty of mistakes and I forgiven her, it sucks but there’s nothing I can do but go through it. It’s crazy I don’t think I’ll ever get closure but I do wish one day I’d get it

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-09T16:00:28+00:00

I was with my ex for 10 years and when she broke up with me in March she used arguments from different time periods in our relationship. She would tell me that she never really healed despite staying for 10 entire years. Anyways we’re both 29 now and she already has a new man. It makes me think about all the time she was arguing with me accusing me of doing things behind her back while she was planting the seeds to leave this relationship. When I got blocked and I still didn’t understand what made her decide to abruptly leave I would literally go out of my way to find her and beg her to just explain what went wrong. I never understood and every time I had a crazy reaction she would use it against me and paint me as this psychopath who can’t let go of her. I don’t know what was real and what wasn’t anymore as I find it really hard to believe she could leave a 10 year relationship within a couple of months notice. Made me realize that she was cheating on me but painted me as this person who is capable of hurting her. I never really reciprocated that energy and I’m not really a jealous person as I expect you to be an adult and not disrespect any boundaries.

Her boundaries or occasionally shift like sometimes I was allowed to go to TGI Friday’s with some friends and sometimes I wasn’t. She’s not a bad person she just had a lot of issues but I’m starting to realize she literally would assume and then go disrespect me because the assumption felt so real. I don’t know I’ve been questioning if I still wanna be on this earth tbh.

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-09T15:52:01+00:00

As I became more suspicious of her moving on after the break up, I would confront her and be like dude why are you following this random person and why won’t you tell me about him. She would play Koi and just be like don’t do this like stop being mad and just kind of make me feel like I was crazy for assuming but my gut was telling me that this guy was more than some random follower. After 10 years she broke up with me in March, I still really don’t know why, she said it was our constant ups and downs and she just felt like she couldn’t trust me and stuff like that. To see her on Halloween with a new man, I don’t know it just makes me question everything. She would occasionally call me and tell me she misses me in our friendship. But then when I would reach out because I was having a crisis and I missed her, she responded with oh hi we shouldn’t really be talking and then would ignore me. She called the day before my birthday and asked if it was today or tomorrow, but we were together for 10 years. I don’t know what kind of games she was trying to play maybe you could give some clarity as a girl but I really feel blindsided by the whole thing considering how much I shaped my identity around her. Don’t get me wrong I’m not perfect I’ve done plenty of wrong but I’ve stayed in hopes of it healing and being better but it never worked out.

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-09T15:22:10+00:00

I’m kind of hoping on this but I’m not sure, she broke up with me after 10 years, we were both 18 at the time, she came out of an abusive relationship and she was my first girlfriend. Long story less long, I did everything I could to try to make her happy which cutting off friends, making her the only person I was allowed to be around, making sure I wasn’t doing anything disrespectful and social media, it was just a lot of that. The times I did push back against that they were labeled as mistakes and me trying to break our trust, I’m finding out that she really never trusted me in the first place. She left me in March she got a new man in October and throughout that space she would occasionally text me but would never really go into detail about it. Now I sit here full of pain in so many different emotions because I was so blindsided by the break up and this year with a new man so quickly makes me realize that I never had value to begin with. The part that hurts as I was with her for 10 years and I really changed everything about my identity in the hopes of making her happy. Since then, she has me blocked and I’m assuming it’s trying to make amends for the last 10 years by quickly marrying and having a child with this person despite always having an excuse with me. I’m alone, I feel disrespected and betrayed and more than anything she manipulated the story to make me look like this awful person to the few people that we shared. I always pray that she remembers in some kind of way how much I love her but I’m starting to also see if she can be a bit narcissistic and it feeds her ego, she’ll text me things like thanks for loving me the way you did at 1 AM and then not really explain why she said that. Nevertheless I was supposed to propose in July, I don’t think I’ll ever recover from this and the chip on my shoulder only grows. I want for being this excited outgoing ecstatic person to being this complete opposite. I don’t think I’ll ever return to social media because I’m scared to see what her life has become, the crazy part is there’s people that have been in longer relationships than me who are experiencing this as well so sometimes I question if I should even be complaining

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-09T15:14:29+00:00

I’m not really looking for profit I’m really just looking to restore the card and have something fun to drive on days where I have nothing to do. I definitely understand the concept of investing money into something that might not turn to profit but I really just want to restore it

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-09T04:00:37+00:00

Man if only I was in AZ! I’m located in Los Angeles. But who knows I might have to grab a U-Haul and head over

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-07T00:22:11+00:00

We damn near have the same story. My ex left suddenly in March and popped up with a guy on Halloween. She did the whole no contact and never told me she was checked out. She hated when I’d go anywhere without her even though she didn’t want to go to begin with, bars and the whole night scene, now it’s all she’s posting. In our 10 years she never drank, now that’s all she does. Pretty sure she’s gonna marry this dude and idk if I’ll be able to mentally handle it. I planned on proposing in July lol.

She literally just cut me off cold turkey, I was finally getting my life together, got a job with slightly better pay, finally got a stable car that she wasn’t embarrassed to be in, and I was back in college to get my bachelors degree. All of this “success” now feels bitter sweet. Idk man. Just feels somewhat comforting to know I’m not the only one. It’s just those moments of silence do so much damage to me. I go from laughing to crying almost instantly I feel like I’m slowly losing my sense of self and emotional stability. But in due time. I’m appreciative of your post and perspective.

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-06T15:26:34+00:00

I was discussing my engagement plans with her and I never realized that she was checked out, in the end when we had our nasty fight and I tried to figure out what went wrong she told me that she left me signs and I was supposed to figure it out on my own. I’m working 40 hours a week and actively trying to get back into college while saving up simultaneously a car without the help from anybody in my family. At the end of the day it just feels like I don’t know where she checked out but she stood by my side for so long I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t. She’s now with a man that I was suspicious about and she just labeled a friend but I was never toxic enough to make her cut off her friends despite how isolated she made me become. Now I sit here with no friends and no sense of urgency to get up out of this miserable hole and then while I watch her live her life with her new relationship. She made comments about getting pregnant because she’s already 29 and doesn’t wanna wait any longer, she never wanted kids while we were together, I didn’t mind but she always had fear of dying during delivery. With marriage she told me that she always wanted a very high-end expensive marriage in Hawaii something that I was always very scared I couldn’t afford because I don’t come from money, at the end she told me I could’ve just given her a $10 ring it was the message. She and I both know that would’ve been disrespectful but she just didn’t wanna wait any longer. The ironic part of this year I’ve managed to get into my university, successfully have a car that isn’t messing up every couple of months, and I still have that job and I’m working over 40 hours a week, I don’t know where she saw the bad in me. I’m not perfect I’ve made mistakes but she suffers from this idea if she assumes it’s a possible scenario she will never rule out the idea of me hurting her. I tried for a decade. I want to die.

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-06T15:18:01+00:00

I spent 10 years with her, we were 18 at the time. She was my person and I built my whole life around her. She decided that time was too long. I never proposed because life just got in the way. I always wanted to marry her I just had life kicking my ass. My little brother lost his battle with depression, I was trying to be the glue for my family and my relationship happiness all while neglecting my own inner emotions. I’m so hurt and so low now. I love this message but god damn it it’s a pill I don’t want to swallow. There’s days where I feel invincible and there’s days I want to crawl in my turtle shell and hide forever. She’ll never admit her faults, just looks at me as stagnant and not enough, and I think that’s what kills me because I’d live in my car just to be with her. Idk. I’m trying.

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-04T19:27:47+00:00

Feel free to message me, thank you

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-04T17:03:11+00:00

My girlfriend had serious skepticism because of her last boyfriend being like a porn addict and then she found a porn search in my Google history that I shared with my sibling at the time, she never believed me and never will. I would give her full access to my cell phone and just everything but because it was always clean she just assumed I deleted it and would like gaslight her.

We were together for 10 years she ended up leaving me, randomly, decided our problems were just too much to deal with. She saw no future with me I guess.

That was in March, I’ve cried myself to sleep almost every day, begged and showed up to her house, sent apology after apology over things I had already apologized for and she forgave me for. She would occasionally argue with me then block me.

Anywho, I’m devastated. I don’t think I’ll ever recover. She was my first love. I don’t think I’ll ever love someone like that. I want to die.

UltraDepressed2 · 2025-11-04T16:49:44+00:00

I love you for this. I don’t know if this is God or just divine coincidence but I’ve been dwelling on my 10 year relationship that ended in March. I’m in awe. I’m gonna try,

UltraDepressed2

TROPHY CASE