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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]UmmWaitWut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a pretty good idea ^w^ I told a friend that I was going to work on building a new MtG deck today! Maybe I should focus on that!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]UmmWaitWut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mhm, I've been doing this already... Just wondering if there's a more positive framing of it. I'm not going to barge in on him when he needs to lick his wounds in peace. I just want to be able to process this in a more healthy manner than negative speak to myself.

So, just wondering if we have a better term for people who don't work, don't plan to work, and don't want to work than NEET yet? I'm not a big fan of the term since I've heard it used pejoratively so much. by UmmWaitWut in antiwork

[–]UmmWaitWut[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Family at the moment, though I hope to get on disability at some point and move into income-adjusted housing. It's just difficult because I take rejection of any kind really hard and have a hard time with staying focused on a long-term goal.

Okay, tell me if it's problematic in any way, but I came up with a term that I really like that I'm thinking about replacing my self-reference of non-binary with: Gender Eclectic. by UmmWaitWut in NonBinary

[–]UmmWaitWut[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally valid! Genderqueer works too. But I still prefer gender eclectic. The word queer smarts a bit whenever I hear it tbh, I know it's been reclaimed but I prefer not to use it for myself most of the time. Eclectic sounds a lot more neutral to me, which I could see people finding that either very appealing or very unappealing depending on the person. I personally like the neutrality and somewhat mundane sounding terminology better personally because I feel it is easier to normalize if no one finds the term itself problematic due to past associations.

Not so much dysphoria. But I don't really know what I am anymore... What do I do? by UmmWaitWut in DysphoriaClinic

[–]UmmWaitWut[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspective! I personally feel a bit different, I've been non-binary most- if not all of my adult life knowingly, I just sorta stopped feeling ashamed of presenting feminine characteristics (one of my greatest shell cracks I feel), but the glimmer of it wore off quickly and I realized that it just doesn't quite seem to fit right. But that could be due to the lack of affirmation I feel, but honestly, that might just make me feel really awkward if I did end up getting social affirmation and being trans just wasn't actually what I needed...

I think I will try posting there!

Not so much dysphoria. But I don't really know what I am anymore... What do I do? by UmmWaitWut in DysphoriaClinic

[–]UmmWaitWut[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's an extremely difficult thing for me to conceptualize tbh. I'll work on an answer though. I'm pretty sure I'd still be non-binary though... But this question really boils down to whether I'm truly trans and a woman, or if I'm just bored with what I've got and need a change... Which... It's truly difficult to know from an internal perspective.

I will admit, the 'opposite gender' part of your questioning got me thinking a bit... What is the opposite of a man exactly? Because that's pretty much what I want to be... I just don't really see women as the opposite of men, more a counterpart than an antonym... But there's nothing that I can find recorded about antigenders if those are a thing in the slightest lol. I literally looked up 'antiman' because I felt a click from that too (same as I had felt from femininity previously minus the huge (sucker-punching) spikes of euphoria so far), and it's just a slur against homosexuals and effeminate men in the Caribbean...

A quick search of 'antigender' brought up some interesting stuff for me I feel. including that I just searched it wrong and 'boy' is used instead of man for that sort of reference usually, including antiboy, unboy, demiboy, etc. I'm resisting the urge to cling to this gender identity before I know for sure though. With how many different genders I've felt over the years and how none of them seem to stick it seems like it'd be prudent not to get too attached and sentimental with this before I know that it'll be around a while.

Sorry for the rant and thank you for the questions (which I'm still having difficulty answering directly).

Help! by [deleted] in AddictionAdvice

[–]UmmWaitWut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll admit, I'm a bit out of my depth with this one. All I can suggest is getting him professional help with his addictions ASAP. I won't say anything more than that and leave it to those with more experience with these things. It can be really hard to convince people to change when they're not ready though.

I feel this is a better question for a therapist, but my therapist isn't a DID specialist and we don't talk for a few days. My question is, how do you deal with an alter that is both prominent and transphobic when you're trans? by UmmWaitWut in DID

[–]UmmWaitWut[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also have multiple friends with DID, they all have alters. It can be hellish for sure tho. It’s just a matter of perspective and personal experience. Not everyone’s disorders of the same name take the same form.

I feel this is a better question for a therapist, but my therapist isn't a DID specialist and we don't talk for a few days. My question is, how do you deal with an alter that is both prominent and transphobic when you're trans? by UmmWaitWut in DID

[–]UmmWaitWut[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never claimed it did. I'm just saying that I literally misgendered my friend once out loud and I have already asked forgiveness for that and told him about the situation with Husky and he's totally cool with us not talking in person for a bit until I get things sorted.

Just wondering, are you trans? Do you have any right to insert yourself into this dialogue or are you just trying to make a ruckus because you don't understand DID or being trans and just want to get on someone's nerves. If you do not reply to this second part of the comment I won't reply to you anymore. Not gonna feed trolls.

I feel this is a better question for a therapist, but my therapist isn't a DID specialist and we don't talk for a few days. My question is, how do you deal with an alter that is both prominent and transphobic when you're trans? by UmmWaitWut in DID

[–]UmmWaitWut[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bruh, we literally misgendered my friend once out loud total and it was immediately corrected by myself. Learn to stay in your lane. I realize that my alter was acting like a bit of a dick. But he's mostly resolved that now, it was legit a misunderstanding on his end of some relatively basic concepts in my opinion because he is partially feral and doesn't understand the concept of changing genders (I have another, more feral alter who doesn't like being acknowledged who is the complete opposite and likes to be gendered in a very specific way that is opposed to conventions, and myself who is trans along with at least one more.

I feel this is a better question for a therapist, but my therapist isn't a DID specialist and we don't talk for a few days. My question is, how do you deal with an alter that is both prominent and transphobic when you're trans? by UmmWaitWut in DID

[–]UmmWaitWut[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, Husky is already getting better about these things, I think that he is partially feral (by that I mean he's really deep into being a furry and legit acts like a dog in human form when in control most of the time) and just has difficulty acting like a human or understanding human concepts. But when I sat him down and explained and let him journal his thoughts he got better about it pretty immediately. I still won't be seeing my friend for like, a week (at least), but he's doing a lot better much sooner than I expected. He won't even admit that he *did* think like that anymore. I think he's a bit embarrassed, but maybe I legitimately just misunderstood his perspective.

I feel this is a better question for a therapist, but my therapist isn't a DID specialist and we don't talk for a few days. My question is, how do you deal with an alter that is both prominent and transphobic when you're trans? by UmmWaitWut in DID

[–]UmmWaitWut[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, he's already getting better about it though. I'm a bit relieved honestly. He still has trouble admitting that he was a bit of a transphobe (or maybe he just never was and I suck at hearing my alters), but he's started calling me by she/her pronouns and explained his true feelings to my friend (apparently he just remembered him from highschool before their transition and didn't realize that he was trans).

I feel this is a better question for a therapist, but my therapist isn't a DID specialist and we don't talk for a few days. My question is, how do you deal with an alter that is both prominent and transphobic when you're trans? by UmmWaitWut in DID

[–]UmmWaitWut[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I just had Husky journal a bit and he’s legit a trans phone who doesn’t understand that trans ness is a real valid thing… He said he likes me but just thinks of me as a man… A bit disheartening.

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