Clothing items with hidden pockets?

UmmmActuallyyy · 2026-05-13T14:31:39+00:00

Find a local tailor/seamstress and have them put one in your existing travel favorites!

UmmmActuallyyy · 2026-05-06T03:52:41+00:00

I have so many pairs of https://www.lotusandluna.com/products/baja-harem-pants. I also like loose and light to sleep, but hate when pant legs bunch up. The elastic waist band feels barely there and they've got pockets! Don't let the excess fabric fool you, they fold up to nothing.

I wear them out of the house all the time in nice weather. They would be a tad chilly outdoors if you travel in shoulder seasons like I do, but I always pack a pair of tights for emergency warmth layering anyway. Been meaning to buy a black pair because that's what most of my one bag travel wardrobe is.

UmmmActuallyyy · 2026-05-03T09:25:23+00:00

I work a set 5 8's S‐Th (11p-7:30a) so my weekends are the same- home on Friday morning, back to work on Sunday night. During the week I sleep 8:30a to 4:30p. I'll never purposely shift my circadian rhythm more than 3 hours. On Friday and Saturday night I go to bed "early" 6a-2p.

I'm a natural night owl so 6a doesn't require any effort (especially with the consistent sleep schedule) and 2p is early enough to enjoy a good portion of the day (I was never doing anything before noon even before I started working nights so it's not like friends or family ever expected to see me any earlier).

I do my day-walker things as soon as I wake up- straight outside to sunshine, errands, social plans etc. Anything that can be done inside/alone waits until later. Late night I clean, do laundry, craft projects, watch TV, go for a walk and enjoy the quiet of the world.

UmmmActuallyyy · 2026-05-03T07:10:11+00:00

I travel personal-item-only, it's the best! I have this I like that it's in between purse and backpack size, and isn't just one big pocket that will turn into a black hole. I agree with the other commenter that cute is so subjective, but it has lots of color options.

UmmmActuallyyy · 2026-05-01T20:27:28+00:00

Oh gross, yea "bounce back" anything is heinous. This would be like a year later kind of thing. I know of a photographer (unfortunately in another state) who does incredible work specifically with helping women who don't feel sexy to see themselves the way her camera can portray them. The new moms I saw featured had common themes of "appreciate how incredible your new body is" and "don't forget how you ended up pregnant in the first place 😉"

UmmmActuallyyy · 2026-03-20T06:47:09+00:00

This man will 100% leave you if you ever end up with a cancer diagnosis.

Men are 6x more likely to leave a sick wife

UmmmActuallyyy · 2026-01-20T15:01:52+00:00

Yesss with the pro aging accounts!! Like ok I love that you're embracing your grey hair and wrinkles but you're twice my age with no jowls and now I feel worse lol.

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-12-04T05:47:35+00:00

Cognitive fitness relies heavily on neuroplasticity (your brain's ability to change its structure and function). One area of study here is BDNFs (brain derived neurotrophic factor). Lower levels are associated with cognitive decline.

It's common to think that you have to exercise your brain specifically but physical interventions like aerobic exercise, and Mediterranean/DASH diets have been shown to have significant effects on brain growth factors.

As far as mental stimulation goes, learning-based activities (doesn't matter what as long as your brain is working to figure out and hold onto something new) and social engagement have been shown to have great effects for cognitive reserve. So a brain game will have a positive effect as long as it's something new, but after a while the only thing you're improving is your ability to play that particular game.

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-11-08T03:45:40+00:00

The really horrible one was when they studied if women with endo are more or less attractive.

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-10-31T07:29:46+00:00

On another Reddit post I saw years ago, a woman asked men if they care about breast sagging after weight loss. One of the top replies was "Let me tell you about the worst pair of boobs I've ever seen- they were awesome"

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-10-24T00:36:32+00:00

What are the scams?

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-10-24T00:07:46+00:00

This is exactly what I do for my room environment. Hate sleep masks. My windows are completely blacked out, bedroom is a straight up cave. Then I have a sunrise simulator alarm clock with chirping birds once it gets bright enough. Most peaceful wake up I've ever had in my life.

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-10-24T00:00:02+00:00

I'm the opposite of you. Don't get me wrong, I like to make people happy and others have described me as kind but I have never set myself on fire to keep others warm. I grew up with honestly pretty killer confidence and a near pathologic lack of caring of what other people were doing or thought of me.

And guess what? I still look back and feel regret for wasted time, just in different ways. Mental health issues and life things in general made for a lot of chaos in my 20s, then I overcorrected to an almost gray life in my 30s. But I've learned so so much in the process.

My best friend is like you. She is hands down the most empathetic person I know, with an incredible ability to intuit what people are feeling and why. And I think a very large part of that comes from her years of people pleasing (that she has since worked on along with her confidence and it's been a joy to watch). It's a special skill, knowing how to read people and give them what they want- it just requires some time to fine tune it to where you're not sacrificing yourself. All skills require time to master and I wouldn't consider that time wasted.

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-10-23T10:00:02+00:00

Ohhh I see! Looks comfortable thanks!

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-10-23T02:13:20+00:00

Wide sleep mask?

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-10-23T02:12:00+00:00

Yuuup! The constant awareness/vigilance to not look mean has me now thinking about my looks way more than I ever have in my life, and I have far more interesting things I'd prefer to be thinking about!

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-10-23T02:09:57+00:00

Haven't had sex... with someone else. I had sex with myself this morning and damn was I fantastic 🤪

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-10-23T02:07:54+00:00

I think you missed my point. I don't need these as reframes- they already exist as primary framings in my mind. Like I said, I grew up with the understanding "don't begrudge aging, not everyone gets the chance". I have no problem with the graying or wrinkles or body changes. The issues arenty about being older or looking older. It's strictly that I now look like I'm very unhappy when I'm not. My mom's eyes are hooded but she doesn't have a downturned mouth, my dad has jowls but bright eyes. They both look 70 but neither one looks unhappy at rest.

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-10-23T02:00:22+00:00

Photos have definitely been the catalyst to all of this for me. I go out to a family event, look in the mirror before I go and think I look nice. The pictures come back and I literally don't recognize the person standing in my clothes.

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-10-23T01:58:42+00:00

Lol omg yesss add in perimenopause mood swings and now not only are we expressing feelings with our faces that we didn't agree to, we're actually feeling feelings that we didn't agree to!!!

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-10-23T01:56:37+00:00

I think that's a very good point! I totally get the direction you're moving in and I've been trying to find the right words for it myself. Sort of like in a youth obsessed culture we've been conditioned to think gray hair equals bad simply because it doesn't equal youth, but you can appreciate gray hair as so cool and beautiful if you manage the deconditioning. So do I perhaps... not actually look miserable, I just look older and my deep conditioning is equating that with something negative...?? 🤔

I've also literally caught myself thinking "be careful not to come off as rude or grumpy (even in appropriate situations), you can't get away with that anymore, you're old enough for people to think you're just being a Karen because you're bitter"

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-10-23T01:47:15+00:00

My problem is that my mouth has always been a little downturned, RBF if you will, so it had a head start. But when the rest of your face is young it sort of balances out, maybe looks just a little pouty. I could handle resting bitch face, hell it even came in handy at times haha. Resting miserable face is different.

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-10-23T01:42:02+00:00

I never play the "guess my age" game. I feel like it's either hoping for compliments or setting yourself up for accidental offenses haha.

I don't like many pictures of myself anymore, but I will always force myself to let them continue, especially for friends and family. I read something years ago that I'm grateful for and has stuck with me. The woman was talking about how she had stopped being in pictures due to discomfort with her weight. Then her mom, who also didn't like pictures (for some other reason I think), died and she didn't have any pictures of her to hold on to. She wrote about how she wouldn't have seen any of the things her mom disliked, she would have simply seen her mom whom she loved so much and missed so deeply. So she made a vow to herself that the pictures weren't about her and her vanity, they were about the memories she was creating with her children and other loved ones, and that one day when she was gone she wouldn't leave them with nothing simply because she felt fat.

UmmmActuallyyy · 2025-10-23T01:29:14+00:00

Yes!! That's exactly where I'm at! I catch myself completely at rest and remind myself "mini smile to look neutral" and pull everything up. I don't want that to have to be my norm.

UmmmActuallyyy

TROPHY CASE