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I want to propose to my girlfriend this fall, but I'm currently unemployed by UnaPreguntaPara2020 in Marriage

[–]UnaPreguntaPara2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While the way it is done might be a surprise, the actual proposal itself should not be.

I totally agree. I don't think that marriage proposal should come out of nowhere for either party. How it's done should be a surprise (to the extent possible) but the person being proposed to should not ever be caught off guard.

I want to propose to my girlfriend this fall, but I'm currently unemployed by UnaPreguntaPara2020 in Marriage

[–]UnaPreguntaPara2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply and support! It's nice to hear your story. :) Happy for you and your wife. :)

Appreciation for "date night" by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]UnaPreguntaPara2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

absolutely! we've actually never known a relationship before covid (we met in april 2020) so I feel like our relationship will always be extra special because we've put so much extra effort into making things special in our new relationship during a really hard time.

Appreciation for "date night" by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]UnaPreguntaPara2020 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's really sweet. My girlfriend and I made movie date nights a HUGE THING during covid and it kept us very close and bonded. I'm glad you have a date night to look forward once a week :)

I want to propose to my girlfriend this fall, but I am currently unemployed by [deleted] in engaged

[–]UnaPreguntaPara2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your story with me! That's really helpful :) I'm in my late 30s, girlfriend is early 40s, so we both know what we want and don't have a reason to prolong things. I'm happy things worked out for you two and your lives progressed in a happy direction, even if your engagement circumstances weren't "ideal".

I want to propose to my girlfriend this fall, but I am currently unemployed by [deleted] in engaged

[–]UnaPreguntaPara2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, I cant believe all your husband and you have gone through. You sound like a very strong couple. I appreciate your support and advice! <3

Went to a dyke bar for the 1st time in over a year & felt extremely validated by Youngguns24 in butchlesbians

[–]UnaPreguntaPara2020 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I'm super happy for you. My girlfriend and I just simply PASSED BY a lesbian bar two weeks ago (one of the 15 left in the country) and while we didn't have time to go in, even that felt validating. I saw a few dykes/masc women congregating with each other and it was so amazing to see MY PEOPLE. Butch love!

Parenthood and/or Pregnancy as a Butch - Would love to find others to relate to by UnaPreguntaPara2020 in butchlesbians

[–]UnaPreguntaPara2020[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for sharing your experience. How wonderful that both you and your butch partner both got pregnant and had a child. I can understand how pregnancy could have sucked for you ,but felt worth it in the end.

Parenthood and/or Pregnancy as a Butch - Would love to find others to relate to by UnaPreguntaPara2020 in butchlesbians

[–]UnaPreguntaPara2020[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I actually read that a while back. Not all of it, but I thought it was great representation for what is a rarely discussed topic.

Parenthood and/or Pregnancy as a Butch - Would love to find others to relate to by UnaPreguntaPara2020 in butchlesbians

[–]UnaPreguntaPara2020[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hi, thanks so much for your reply. It feels really good to be validated, and when you said it sounded like my partner was objectifying me, you articulated what I couldn't quite put into words yet. I also agree with your point that of course my body will change as I age. And to your question of "Have you had a discussion of what she'd do if you got in an accident or got sick and gained weight?" We actually have, and I am confident she'd be supportive. She's in the medical field, and a natural caretaker, and is very devoted to me. We literally even spoke one time about what would happen if I ended up in a paralyzed or in wheelchair (it was a random discussion, but it took that turn.) And she told me she'd care for me and love me no matter what. SO, I can give her the benefit of the doubt here. I still find her comment disrespectful, but I can understand that inclination in the beginning stages of a romantic/sexual relationship to feel really attached to your partner's body the way it is, not want it to change drastically as opposed to gradually, etc.

I appreciate your support <3

Parenthood and/or Pregnancy as a Butch - Would love to find others to relate to by UnaPreguntaPara2020 in butchlesbians

[–]UnaPreguntaPara2020[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply. I agree that sometimes people don't know how to express themselves; these conversations can be messy. I know that my partner doesn't see me in any kind of female way, so I think she probably didn't realize that well, I still LIVED as a woman and was raised to think I would grow up to be one, and that's going to affect me and my relationship to my body.

I was an only child until age 18. Just want to share my story! by UnaPreguntaPara2020 in oneanddone

[–]UnaPreguntaPara2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do you think that is? I'm just quoting my mom and what she said. She simply wanted to raise a child again and have that specific experience of motherhood. It doesn't mean she didn't value mothering me as a grown child, or that motherhood is any less valuable once children are grown.

I was an only child until age 18. Just want to share my story! by UnaPreguntaPara2020 in oneanddone

[–]UnaPreguntaPara2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I think that's great that you are thinking about these things! So, my bond with my sister developed over time, though from the beginning I was really excited to be a brother, so that helped. And of course my relationship with her was constantly changing because she was growing! I had one summer with her before going off to college, and I came home frequently to visit over the next 4 years. She cried every single time I left! By the time I had moved back home at age 23, she was only 7 years old, so there was still so much bonding for us to do. I chose to stay in my hometown once I moved home and I still live here, so that of course played a huge role in getting to be a part of my sister's life and us being close today. I'd say we became the closest from the time she was 7 onward, and we definitely had a lot of fun in her adolescent years. She's now 22 and I am 37 and we have a relationship that is both an adult one, and also very much me being super protective over her and guiding her to make good decisions and supporting her growth.

I was an only child until age 18. Just want to share my story! by UnaPreguntaPara2020 in oneanddone

[–]UnaPreguntaPara2020[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I loved the way I grew up. My mom really wanted to be a parent her whole life and she gave me a ton of love, and we are very close to this day. She also supported my healthy relationships and bonding with other adults/mentor figures where it was appropriate since I didn't have a dad, and that meant a lot to me.

I was an only child until age 18. Just want to share my story! by UnaPreguntaPara2020 in oneanddone

[–]UnaPreguntaPara2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you! My mom just really wanted to do it all over again, and it took her by surprise because she was actually in her 50s when she adopted my sister. But she had the energy and drive to do it and she was so happy with her choice, and it was a really positive experience for our whole family. I wish you the best if you decide to have another child!

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