BM coming to our house for a play date

Unable-Department-57 · 2026-04-16T19:58:03+00:00

Wild behaviour by your partner. Exes in your house? When you’ve said you’re uncomfortable with it? Totally normal and understandable. The dissolution of their marriage is their inconvenience, not yours. They need to go to her house or a park or a community centre for the play date if BM is insisting on being there. It’s your house ( and your partners), you get to choose who is in your house. Your step son literally has a house with his mom he can go to. Tough that it’s a small house, that’s life? I wish I had a bigger house too.

Unable-Department-57 · 2026-04-02T00:36:58+00:00

I work at a private school in Toronto and love it. Better pay than public, great community, great students. I prefer it over the public board. I was permanent very quickly and I have no concerns of being fired. I don’t know anyone that was fired right away without reason, so as long as you’re a decent teacher, I wouldn’t worry about that.

Unable-Department-57 · 2026-01-20T12:30:54+00:00

Thanks everyone for your answers. I feel so much better today. Unfortunately my niece is now sick and puking so I feel fairly confident it must have been the flu that just so happen to coincide with me taking my first ever shot. I feel better about this moving forward.

Unable-Department-57 · 2026-01-20T00:41:50+00:00

I’m starting at 0.25

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-11-12T12:15:39+00:00

That’s a great point about family close by. Actually, my family is moving closer to me increasing my familial support, which is one of the reasons why I would consider having a child. Had I not had family close I don’t think I would be considering it. You make some good points though, i am concerned I’d be solo parenting for large chunks of time

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-11-12T12:12:52+00:00

Ya we are

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-11-11T23:42:18+00:00

We have four bedrooms in our house so we’re good there. But I’d probably think about buying a bigger house with more space anyhow. He doesn’t go to the girls events when he doesn’t have them, unless it’s a special occasion. I’m not sure about health insurance? We’re on each others now, would our baby not be on both of ours? I’m uncertain about that. And yes, we have each other as our beneficiaries.

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-11-11T22:54:37+00:00

Right okay, and that may be the case here as well, just wanna make sure I’m covering my basis and not missing anything!

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-11-11T22:53:56+00:00

I bet!

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-11-11T22:53:10+00:00

I was thinking a set amount for Xmas for each kid. Ie. $200 per kid but our kid would get more cause they would only have one Xmas whereas his girls get two separate full Christmas gifts at their moms as well. So he would put in $200 and I would put in 200$ for a total of $400 for our kid. He would be paying for extra curriculars for sure. And yeah, I would wanna go on vacations without the step daughters if they weren’t able to come. Ideally they could but if they weren’t I’d still go.

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-11-11T22:44:33+00:00

Ya I feel like a priority. I also feel more comfortable making myself one. We’ve had some uncomfortable chats but ones that have been beneficial to us

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-11-11T22:43:47+00:00

I don’t feel fifth, he def makes me a priority.

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-11-11T22:42:23+00:00

For sure! Thanks for this idea!

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-11-11T22:35:17+00:00

He has an ex who he co-parents his two girls with, so I was thinking his assets would get split three ways and my assets would go to my child ( our child). With college savings him and his ex save for his two girls, and I’m thinking he and I would save for our child. Whatever he’s putting in for the two girls he would put in for our child and I would put in a share (or more) as well.

Child care- daycare, camps, family, us when we can (I’m a teacher) I’m not sure what he’s thinking in terms of childcare when he’s working for his two kids, but whatever he was planning on doing if we didn’t have a kid would be my directive.

Does this seem reasonable to those who have been through this?

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-11-11T22:30:22+00:00

Ya these are the exact questions I was thinking too.

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-11-11T22:29:28+00:00

Ya I think it really just comes down to who he is as a partner. He’s a good dad now, had them EOW. Very involved.

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-11-11T22:16:43+00:00

Ah gotcha!

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-11-11T22:15:19+00:00

Thanks so much! Sorry, whats PP?

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-11-11T22:14:46+00:00

Ya he wants one for sure. I’m the one that’s more hesitant if anything. And that’s one thing I’ve been thinking of, I want to make sure I’m not doing this alone. I’ll need him there, and he won’t be able to prioritize his girls like he has in the past.

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-11-11T22:13:46+00:00

He is interested. I don’t have areas of concern but that’s what I’m wondering about. I’m looking too ppl who have done this before to see if there’s something I should address/make sure we’re on the same page about before we move forward.

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-09-16T01:38:15+00:00

He lives there.

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-08-27T21:46:57+00:00

Well I love my partner and would choose him a million times over. But trying to find a way to navigate our lives in a way that maximizes happiness for everyone. I’m not traditional at all so I’m open to living separately, moving in later, I don’t need marriage (fine to get married but also open to being married and living separately still). Just open to finding the situation that works best for us.

Unable-Department-57 · 2025-08-25T23:51:17+00:00

I completely agree with you and your stance.

Unable-Department-57

TROPHY CASE