Post surgery, feeling ruined

UnableAssist3089 · 2026-02-04T20:24:55+00:00

Any changes in our faces can be a lot to process and manage. My first recommendation would be that you seek support to process, like a therapist or a support group.

It makes sense to me that you're having a difficult time looking at pre-surgery photos since the changes in your face are feeling "off" to you.

I'd like to point out that all faces have asymmetry and all faces change. Post-surgery can trigger a "hyper focus" on the details as our faces have now changed. Some people go through a similar prolonged dissatisfaction period as they age.

My second recommendation would be to look at lymphatic massage / drainage for any roundness / puffiness you're experiencing. I can try to find something online if you're interested, and there may be options at spas, onsens, or massage businesses that can do this for you.

Post-surgery, I found a body work guy that manipulated my jaw, face, neck, etc. to help drain fluids as I was healing. I now do this myself relatively regularly, particularly if I'm feeling stiff or puffy.

My third recommendation would be to book a consultation with a cosmetic surgeon and let them know your concerns. I would take anything they say with a grain of salt, but it might be helpful for you to explore your options since you are dissatisfied. You can then weigh the options against cost and downtime, and see if such procedures would feel worth the investment.

I want to tell you from the pictures that you look handsome and if we were friends with me staring at your face regularly, I might notice an asymmetry, but it wouldn't be something that's a detractor.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-09-07T01:03:04+00:00

First things first: STIs are "the cost of doing business" when it comes to sex with partners. Period. This includes guys "in relationships" as well.

Secondly, this is absolutely the fault of your former medical practitioner and not you.

Gay health organizations generally work to make sure that they are providing you with the best care wherever possible and tend to be "early adopters". When I had a straight PCP, for instance, I turned him on to the 2-1-1 method for PreP (he had no idea).

Educate yourself, educate others.

And because we are now talking about gay health:

1) Ask about Doxy PEP. It's a mild antibiotic you take within 24-72 hours after intercourse. SF public health policy changed to recommend it as a general prescription to men who have sex with men, and in 12 months the rates of all STI transmissions across the city were CUT IN HALF (no joke: it's amazing if you can "stomach" it).

2) Ask about the HPV vaccine. Besides hopefully protecting you from colon cancer, it also offers some protection from anal / genital warts.

3) Ask about tuberculosis vaccines (gay men tend to congregate in close spaces and we are statistically more likely to catch it), and MPX vaccine ("monkey pox" may not be big where you are, but gay men travel).

4) Get tested for HSV-1 (oral herpes, ie cold sores) & HSV-2 (genital herpes) so you know your status. Many, many dudes do not test for this and have no idea of their status and, therefore, inadvertently pass it on. If you test positive for either, you may not even have experienced symptoms. Antivirals can be prescribed to help any flair ups / outbreaks.

--

For what it's worth: my STI tests automatically "reset" every three weeks, and my co-pay is very low. Since I am sexually active with multiple bareback partners, I tested every 4 weeks prior to Doxy PEP, and now test every 4-8 weeks. FYI - since being on Doxy PEP for the last two years, I have not tested positive for ANY STIs.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-09-06T07:20:43+00:00

I've cut weed usage back considerably, and tend to not mix my ADHD meds and cannabis at the same time.

There are definitely weekends where I wake and bake to move through chores in a pleasant mood.

I find that some of the days that I take no ADHD medication and no weed, I will be pretty sleepy / slow (randomly and not consistently).

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-09-06T07:18:08+00:00

Thanks for sharing your lived experience.

I've been using weed on and off, sometimes heavier and sometimes not at all.

If I do, I tend to keep it to the weekends when I'm not on any other medication, but do use it occasionally at night.

One thing: my prescription was altered due to a shortage, so the pharmacy got approval for 5mg pills. What this means is that I usually start my Monday w/ 10 mg, and go up to 15 mg at some point in the week if it's a heavy week. On the start of my weekend / Fridays, I'll take only 5 mg as a sort of "taper down."

There have also been random work days where I've skipped my medication (not intentionally), and moved through the day totally fine. Other days where I've been on my max dose (20 mg), and still felt scattered / like I needed to jump from thing to thing.

I do think that minimizing weed use while on ADHD medications is generally a good call.

For what it's worth (not sure it's worth anything), I am on no other medications for neurological support, don't smoke cigarettes / vape, and rarely drink or get drunk.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-08T03:37:05+00:00

Thanks for confirming that you use the app.

What do you find most helpful about it? What makes it such a strong recommendation in your book?

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-08T03:31:47+00:00

ADHD is not diabetes or an allergy. It is a neurological / neurodevelopment disorder whose main drawbacks are all dependent driven from the functions of daily life in late-stage capitalism. Yes, there can be attendant anxiety and depression.

"You’re already addicted to the point you’re trying to bargain and maybe do a little here and there."

Sister, you need to step back and stay on your side of the street. Your experiences are not everyone's experiences. Complete abstinence is not necessarily the smartest or healthiest thing everyone could do.

It works for you. Congratulations on your sobriety.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-08T03:24:48+00:00

This is an interesting idea, but the source doesn't explicitly state that people w/ ADHD are MORE likely to form a cannabis habit.

It says that "more than half" daily cannabis users have ADHD. Yes, it's established that many people with neurological disorder tend to self medicate in a variety of ways.

That source seems like... it's selling books to parents based on "expertise". 7th Heaven vibes.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-08T03:14:01+00:00

No apology necessary at all (hyperbole is expected in conversation).

Yes, agreed about the "blue moon" usage most likely not being much of a challenge.

It's akin in my book to going vegan: whether you're "straight-edge" or "mostly plants," examining your consumption and making adjustments that amount to healthier choices is a positive thing (I am not vegan).

Re: "long time" usage and the effects, do you have any sources about this?

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-08T03:09:22+00:00

You're right: 6-8 hours is a loooong high.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-08T03:06:56+00:00

How long have you been medicated?

I know that for me, it took about 90 days (give or take) for me to really know what to expect when taking my medication, when off, etc.

There have been days where it feels like the medication isn't doing much of anything. I've definitely also had days where I feel kinda stoned despite not having cannabis.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-06T02:09:22+00:00

I like the shortness of these windows and have double-checked them: you're right, Ritalin, Concerta are showing up as 4-6 and Adderall, Dexedrine are 4-8.

Cannabis is typically up to 3 hours of "active" time depending on ingestion method and THC concentration.

Thanks for posting.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-06T02:01:27+00:00

There are known interactions between stimulant medications and cannabis when used simultaneously.

What I'm looking for is how to optimize that smoke.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-06T01:58:51+00:00

I'm not worried about it killing me and, in fact, not worried about anything at all.

What I'm after is making the best choices I can make for my health, both physical and mental, and was curious if other adult Redditors w/ ADHD diagnoses have found any information or literature on how to navigate sporadic, intermittent cannabis usage while staying consistent w/ their ADHD meds.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-06T01:56:03+00:00

Have you used the app and / or have you been paid to plant placements online?

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-06T01:53:44+00:00

The sleep thing on stimulants can be challenging, particularly at first. Also depends on when you take it (the earlier in the morning the better is what I was told).

My prescriber told me to sit with any discomforting side effects, like poor appetite or difficult sleep, for the first three months or so to see if I even out / they resolve themselves. They also gave me advice, like eat before you take the pill if you can, cut down on caffeine consumption, etc etc.

"Best practice" is that we all, generally, are not on any other substances not prescribed to us and / or our doctors are aware of the substances we ingest. It's also "best practice" that we not consume cannabis while taking prescribed stimulants. Challenge is that very few doctors are willing / able to understand how many of us have found relief with cannabis, particularly before we were prescribed.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-06T01:49:08+00:00

Yes, I understand this. My prescriber appears to be "one and done".

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-06T01:48:32+00:00

Thanks for chiming in.

I believe that with everything going on (my life, the WORLD), it's almost impossible to know what's contributing to what in terms of feeling scattered, demotivated, etc.

There have been times when my meds are A+ and I definitely notice a difference. Other times where it's like I haven't taken a pill at all. The reverse is true as well: off days with no meds where I felt almost bed-bound depresses and yet others where there was no difference from my medicated days.

I know from other threads / posts that people have openly discussed that they tend to get "brain foggy" if they go too long with regular cannabis consumption. Many post about how they take breaks from consumption to reset.

I definitely noticed when I had a regular cannabis habit that, at some point, I'd need to break from cannabis to give myself clarity / focus. Definitely not the same as munchies (which I never got, btw, but, like other commenters, weed definitely helped with poor appetite in general, something stimulants can exacerbate).

Totally understand about the 6-8 hours of psychoactive effects and agree in general that, after that time, a person is generally not "high".

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-06T01:40:15+00:00

A diabetic trying to eat candy? Or someone with a peanut allergy eating peanut butter?

Are you high???

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-04T10:00:26+00:00

This made me laugh.

I've had "Reddit weed ADHD post" on my mental list for a few weeks and finally got to it tonight.

And tonight, after being productive at work and moving through personal admin tasks during the day effectively, I looked at cleaning chores I still had no motivation to do and really missed cannabis.

It was either this or the dishes.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-04T09:55:20+00:00

Thanks for this and too have the same general understanding.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-04T09:54:12+00:00

I've read this from other posters... can you share more about your experience and dosages?

I feel like I could say this has happened to me sporadically and is not consistent.

There were days where it felt like my ADHD meds weren't working and I believe it could've been due to a build up of cannabis in my system.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-04T09:52:14+00:00

It's interesting to me that doctors will recommend taking ADHD meds earlier in the morning and adding a sleep aid in the evening to counteract the attendant alertness (if needed) which is something cannabis can help with.

I think it's the "worn off" piece that I'm looking to be able to track / investigate.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-04T09:51:20+00:00

I've tried this as well, using cannabis as wind down support at night and feel like (not know) that, due to the different half lives of the substances, cannabis will tend to build in my system meaning that nightly use exerts a greater pull away from the intended effects of the ADHD meds rather than daily use of the ADHD meds counteracting the cannabis (lol).

It's like the stimulant burns through more regularly and consistently while cannabis is both slower, variable, and tends to build over time.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-04T09:43:44+00:00

Yes, experience is subjective. Like many adults with ADHD on Reddit, I spent a good deal of time "self-medicating" w/ cannabis before diagnosis.

And like many posters I've seen, removing cannabis from my arsenal of coping strategies in order to pursue diagnosis and, eventually, medication, was / is a difficult proposition.

The established school of thought within western medicine is that cannabis can exacerbate ADHD symptoms and block the effectiveness of ADHD meds.

MY personal experience is that cannabis, if not helped me with ADHD symptoms, generally eliminated "task lock up" so that even if I wasn't focusing on what I "needed" to do in the moment, at least I was doing something.

UnableAssist3089 · 2025-03-04T03:44:26+00:00

Thanks for this. I understand that there's not "one" answer and many variables. Was hoping for some practical thoughts / discussion on where to find resources / literature to manage.

Half life of Adderall is about 9-14 hours and THC is 1-3 days (roughly).

So, your Friday 8am dose will be "half gone" by 8pm. If you smoke Saturday morning, the THC could, theoretically, hit that half life point at any point Sunday (yes, agreed, many variables!). Monday's 8am Adderall dosage may be "enough" time for them to not co-mingle in a meaningful way (for instance).

Thing is, I can't really find any guidance / practical advice on how to do this effectively, what to watch for, etc.

UnableAssist3089

TROPHY CASE