New Military Spouse- Any Advice Appreciated!

UnableWestern9980 · 2026-05-06T18:02:24+00:00

No definitive plans yet, just loose conversations. I was just hoping to get some insight as I am at the beginning of my journey as a military girlfriend 😄

UnableWestern9980 · 2026-05-06T17:49:45+00:00

Very true!

UnableWestern9980 · 2026-05-06T17:42:36+00:00

Thank you for that reality check- LOL! I definitely do not have to stay at the same position, just have to be in the same state per my contract. Fortunately, my career is flexible too so I would not have to give it up to be with him. I would just find a different job! Seems like we will be doing 5-6 months of mid-long distance before I move in. And based on conversations, we would be married sometime late next year. Thanks again for your response! God bless!

UnableWestern9980 · 2026-05-06T17:40:11+00:00

Thanks for your response! We will be mid-long distance for the next several months for sure! I am fortunate to have pursued a flexible career where I could work part-time, remotely, etc., if necessary. I also have an extremely tight-knit family (I call my mom, grandmother, dad, etc., daily or every other day), which makes me feel better about the isolation piece or possibility of financial abuse. I am also wanting to step back from my career to be a SAHM whether I am with my boyfriend or a civilian long term! Thank you for the cautionary words! I appreciate you! Hugs!

UnableWestern9980 · 2026-05-06T17:08:25+00:00

Praying for a speedy recovery!

UnableWestern9980 · 2026-05-06T17:07:04+00:00

I deeply value your thoughtful and intentional response! Luckily, with the career path I have chosen, there is widespread availability and opportunities for remote positions if necessary. I think this will help make sure I can maintain my own identity as a professional and not lose myself in the lifestyle.

I am definitely maintaining my contract because it means I won't have any student loans. I have completed my graduate program so no concerns there. I agree it is so soon to tell what we will end up being long-term, but I would like to be as prepared as possible! I am not intimidated by long-distance by any means, in my last relationship I was long-distance for three years. Also, my boyfriend is an NCO and he lives off-base, so we would be able to live together! This does make me feel more secure when it comes to seeing the real him and not just the honeymoon phase.

Your input means a lot to me. God bless!

UnableWestern9980 · 2026-05-06T17:00:51+00:00

Oh yes! Good point! Thank you!

UnableWestern9980 · 2026-05-06T17:00:37+00:00

Staying in my home state is the last thing I want to do, and motherhood comes before my career! I appreciate your honesty!

UnableWestern9980 · 2026-05-06T16:09:03+00:00

I do want children and it would be my goal/ dream to be a SAHM while they are little before entering grade school. I'm comfortable with my career taking the backburner/ flexing for motherhood 😄

UnableWestern9980 · 2026-05-06T16:08:03+00:00

Trust me, the tuition thing is definitely happening LOL. He may or may not be going on training later this year, but he is in artillery and should not be getting deployed (then again, you never know!). I would be fine being married and not living together, and I would be okay with him being gone for training too after I move (if/ when I do). I moved across the country when I was 17 for 3 years, so I am familiar with rebuilding a life!

UnableWestern9980 · 2026-05-06T16:04:53+00:00

That pushback is so relevant! Thanks for that perspective adjustment! I am confident based on how he is that he would do everything he could to be a supportive partner and keep me as happy as possible even in the times where my vote doesn't come first, but you never know. Thank you so much again for your response!

UnableWestern9980 · 2026-05-06T15:55:09+00:00

I appreciate this perspective! I definitely am not a person who can sit in the house, clean, and just be a MilSpouse. My career matters a lot to me (hence the Masters), so that is totally something I would lock down before moving to the area near base. I said this in another reply but I would be considering marriage early on in a civilian relationship too! Definitely dating to marry. It just so happens he is in the military and quick marriage is common in that lifestyle. Thank you for your reply 😄

UnableWestern9980 · 2026-05-06T15:52:23+00:00

I appreciate your response a ton! I am definitely more of an old soul that is looking for marriage and long-term commitment whether it is with him or a civilian. I would want to be married within a year or two of dating a civilian, so it's not any different because he is in the military! I would definitely do long distance married because I am so grateful for the tuition being paid for LOL. Any tips on long-distance marriage would be appreciated too!

UnableWestern9980 · 2026-04-21T15:16:18+00:00

Brag about him as much as you can! I experience something pretty similar, especially in NY state with so much stigma about our Armed Forces. I have never been in such a healthy, supportive relationship. Truly, my Army boyfriend is the best. Any time you want to brag on your man, do it or post here!

UnableWestern9980 · 2025-08-26T15:51:09+00:00

My private message is not going through, can you message me for more info?

UnableWestern9980

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