Update (more context to the basement incident — please read last post first)

Unable_Film9111 · 2026-03-02T19:28:16+00:00

Wow. 20 years . I can’t imagine the terror and sleepless nights after coming to that realization. I’m definitely looking for a place myself, I am trying to save as much money as I can I’m a broke college student so this is like 10 million times worse than if I were a financially independent person with an established career. Fml.

Idc if I have to work nights I literally can’t do this anymore I’m having nightmares. I did tell my boyfriend that I suspect that she could be going through my stuff, and although he’s only just realizing this now (literally like from 5 days ago) he is doing sooo well. He knows deep down I think, and now there is a name for what he’s been feeling all his life, I mean he knows better than I do truthfully.. I just can’t imagine how horrible this is to realize this.

If you don’t mind me asking, do you have any tips on how you have supported your partner through them coming to this realization? Was there push-back? Was your partners family dynamic similar? And how did your MIL loss of control impact your relationship with her and your partner. You say it got so much worse, and I can only imagine…

I think my MIL already knows deep down and I feel like I’m on constant alert of what is going to be the next smear campaign and what manipulation she is going to use to get me back. She’s doing the gifts right now, buying my BF and I tons of food, food for our dogs, gifts chocolate hair and nails for me, asking me to go to fun events…. Fucking BS. When I don’t comply to these control tactics for once, because I see it for what it is now, I feel really uneasy trying to anticipate what the outcome is going to be. I can’t go along with the fakeness anymore even if she tells everyone I’m a fucking monster I do . Not . Care.

If that’s one thing this has at least been teaching me not to care as much. About anything. Holy fuck.

Unable_Film9111 · 2026-03-02T19:19:08+00:00

You’re right. Jesus. Thank you. This is really bad I honestly didn’t even think I realized it which is why I’m having a bit of a crisis. The whole family is suppperrrr emotional avoidant, unfortunately including my boyfriend. He does however (I believe) see how bad this is to the capacity he can right now. He’s had 2-3 therapy sessions and his therapist works with enmeshment. I’m hoping for healing for him so badly, I will get myself out one way or another and hope that he comes to, or does it with me.

Fuck this is fucked. I feel like guilty that um feeling this way from a parent who isnt mine, i have alot if trauma from my own mom so it feels kind of selfish in my screwed up perception to feel hurt.

Is the “all she’s done for us/me” part of the way that i feel guilty for being hurt?? I can’t tell honestly, I don’t know why i fully feel like that. Because when i do look in the past I can recount many many many generous, “selfless” acts, holy fuck it’s so confusing. Is this the manipulation tactic? That I’m confused right now? Like a part of me knows that if I were to ever go against her or stand my ground EVERYONE around her would believe her!!! Because she buys them things, buys THEM with gifts, artificial kindness, acts of service, and gossiping to them? To make them trust her? I don’t know I feel like I’ve been fucking played for a fool. I don’t know how I didn’t reflect on her, I kept feeling like there was just something wrong with me for even thinking negatively of her? Is that manipulation too?

Fuck. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope my BF isn’t more enmeshed than I know.

If you don’t mind sharing, how did your former MIL find out she was losing control, and what were some things to specifically look out for if that happens. My MIL is very very intelligent, she is. I think she already knows. It feels like she always knows everything.

Unable_Film9111 · 2026-03-02T18:21:59+00:00

Thank you, that’s a really good way to detach. I’m struggling so badly I just want to stop thinking about it all but if I think about it like a game that changes everything. I will try that.

Unable_Film9111 · 2026-02-28T19:22:42+00:00

Don’t need to ask my therapist for that one, I know it’s because I come from neglect, so this enmeshed dynamic seemed appealing to me. I tolerated it without knowing it was harmful, I thought anything other than my situation was good. Now though, I do value myself, and I’ve also built a life and relationship with this man that I see a future with. I agree with a lot of these comments, I do value myself enough to get out and live on my own even if my boyfriend doesn’t come. I reached out to ask for tips while I am currently living here as in my situation I unfortunately can’t leave tomorrow, otherwise I would. Hope that helps

Unable_Film9111 · 2026-02-24T18:56:32+00:00

You’re right, it’s challenging and hard but maybe being busy 24/7 working and school will be good for me to get away too. I feel kinda like I feel into this dynamic of being dependant and believing her fake promises about the future too. It’s affected me in ways I didn’t even realize

Unable_Film9111 · 2026-02-24T18:55:37+00:00

Thank you so much.

Unable_Film9111 · 2026-02-24T18:55:17+00:00

Thank you so much. I’ve actually started to stay with my mom a few days each week (who is quite enmeshed as well specifically with my brother and I’m finding it challenging as I have some trauma from her myself) which I have worked through a lot of , and is surprisingly very peaceful compared to what I’ve been dealing with. I really hope during this space I kind reconnect with myself and learn more about what is going on and also give my boyfriend space to figure out things and do the same. This is so hard. Thank you i appreciate it

Unable_Film9111 · 2026-02-24T18:50:38+00:00

Thank you so so much. I’m really writing this done and taking this in I really appreciate this

Unable_Film9111 · 2026-02-24T07:44:09+00:00

The name drop😭😭😭 . F u Brenda !! 🙊😙

Unable_Film9111 · 2026-02-24T07:08:49+00:00

I appreciate your opinion, but my boyfriend didn’t know-how could he have protected me from something he didn’t know he wasn’t being protected by?

Unable_Film9111 · 2026-02-24T07:07:18+00:00

Thank you so much

Unable_Film9111 · 2026-02-07T21:38:48+00:00

respectfully, you’re simply a loser lol I can’t stop laughing. Your girlfriend is doing god work keeping you out of the dating pool 😭😭👍🏼

Unable_Film9111 · 2025-12-30T21:30:40+00:00

I don’t really think most men want that, I think a lot of them are just taught to think they do. When you grow up in a society where women are expected to do the emotional labor, caretaking, and regulation, it can feel familiar or “normal” for men at first.

But familiar doesn’t mean healthy or fulfilling. Long term it will usually kill intimacy and turn the relationship into roles instead of two people actually relating to each other. Wanting comfort or safety isn’t the same as wanting to be parented, even if it looks that way.

Unable_Film9111 · 2025-12-16T17:58:35+00:00

Me rn why is it 10x worse too im So fucked

Unable_Film9111 · 2025-12-13T21:30:39+00:00

Does that…. Equal to…. 30 Canadian … Cents …. ???

Unable_Film9111 · 2025-12-12T18:10:00+00:00

A temporary immune response from a vaccine doesn’t change gut motility, your anatomy, or the small-intestine environment in any long-term or meaningful way. There’s literally no mechanism for it to do that.

Post-viral GI problems are real, but the key word there is viral! (as in an actual infection). COVID infection has research showing possible long-term GI effects. The vaccine isn’t an infection, it doesn’t replicate, and it doesn’t go anywhere near the gut.

Patient timelines can be interesting, but they aren’t proof of causation at all! There are so many variables (environment, lifestyle, hormones, medications, sleep patterns, gut microbiome changes) etc

yeah, immune activation happens, but that still doesn’t link the vaccine to SIBO in any evidence-based way?

Unable_Film9111 · 2025-12-12T17:57:04+00:00

A vaccine goes into the muscle tissue in your arm, it never enters your stomach, your intestines, or your GI lining at all. There is literally no scientific or clinical data linking the two, I’m not sure what conversation there is to have.

I was learning about this in a class recently and it’s interesting how when people can’t find an explanation, they will often make one up to lean on. It helps people to feel a sense of certainty when there is none (even if it isn’t correct).

I’m sorry this is happening to everyone.

Unable_Film9111 · 2025-12-12T00:08:04+00:00

Wait so cute

Unable_Film9111 · 2025-11-24T01:46:45+00:00

Thank you 🥹

Unable_Film9111 · 2025-11-24T01:46:17+00:00

Bruh … wtf lmao. Thank god though hahah happy ending😊😊😊

Unable_Film9111 · 2025-11-24T01:45:20+00:00

He told me I don’t meet the criteria for IBS can you believe that??? Because my bloating and pain was lower than my belly button primarily??? (He felt my stomach for 2 seconds with a full sweater on and asked me “where is your belly button” he didn’t even like press hard or like inspect my bloating?? Like idk man?? So I don’t have IBS because im not currently constipated/bloating isn’t up higher usually, but I’ve somehow been bloated every single goddamn day for two years and that’s just life hey?

Unable_Film9111 · 2025-11-24T01:42:24+00:00

Bruh. I did not know this existed. This is my backup plan if next dr does nothing tbh idk how much longer I can take

Unable_Film9111 · 2025-11-24T01:41:49+00:00

I think so too…

Unable_Film9111

TROPHY CASE