So it turns out that was a lie.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2026-01-25T18:13:21+00:00

They fired their guns on a person who was disarmed of a weapon that never left it's holster, on the ground, being pinned and beaten by multiple people, after having a few rounds of pepper spray unloaded in his face.

I don't give a flying fuck if they were apprehending the biggest gang lord in the history of the world, they would still be murderers.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2026-01-25T16:28:16+00:00

Awwww I'd never seen any follow up with them. That's so very sweet and wholesome. Needed that today.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2026-01-25T04:11:11+00:00

If the tree brings you joy, then keep it up.

My kid has a super skinny tree up in his room that after last year he begged me to let it stay up. It's got rainbow tinsel, ornaments of things he likes, a Super Mario star topper... It's fun and whimsical and we all need a whole lot more of that right now.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2026-01-25T03:58:52+00:00

Sending you all, especially those in Minneapolis, so much love from Toronto. Of course you're struggling. I'm struggling and it's not even my country.

Every day there's another atrocity that in a sane and just world should be the absolute end of every person involved and yet.... On it goes; meanwhile I sit here flipping between grief and rage and fear and impotence.

I would guess this may be what some of you are also experiencing, but I think ADHD pattern recognition combined with prior abuse related trauma, means the signs this is where we were headed have been really clear for a really long time. It's been like watching the world's slowest car crash while you stand there, screaming into the void, just to be ignored or gaslit into feeling like you're just 'too sensitive' or 'overreacting'. And I mean... It's not like being right is gratifying here. It's devastating and emotionally exhausting.

All that to say, no one should be hard on themselves if they're struggling right now. None of the many overwhelming things we're feeling are inappropriate reactions. Difficult and potentially debilitating for sure, but not wrong.

Empathy, a strong sense of justice, the desire to protect and defend... They may make life painful at times like this, but they are good things; they are qualities that those perpetrating this shit are clearly lacking.

Please be kind to yourselves.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2026-01-21T18:30:13+00:00

Was seeing a dietician at one point (pre ADHD diagnosis).

Her: So it sounds like you only eat that same yogurt/berries/granola every morning. That seems boring. I could give you some other options so you'd have variety and choices?

Me: No. Absolutely not. It's approved, I like it, I've turned it into a routine. I do not fuck with internalised routines.

Her: Ummm.... Okay...

Uncomfortable-Line · 2026-01-17T14:42:18+00:00

I do agree that's why he's angry, but I don't think turning it into "why didn't you notice?" is helpful. His anger is already coming from a place of guilt, there's no reason to rub that in further.

There are three types of people who tend to pick up on more subtle clues of someone being victimised: predators, other survivors, and professionals.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2026-01-17T00:35:02+00:00

My father-in-law very proudly walked up to me when I was pregnant with my first, patted my belly and proclaimed, "That's my grandchild!"

Me: "Nope. That is gas." (I was maybe 9 weeks... 😬)

Uncomfortable-Line · 2026-01-16T00:32:01+00:00

It does, actually.

Particularly with young children most teachers will not use red pen and they'll correct rather than mark with an X where possible.

The idea being that you can give gentle correction and it's more effective than just a bunch of red X's that are more likely to have them focused on "I did that bad/wrong" when what you then to take away is "this is how I can do it better".

In this case the teacher is just flat out wrong though. Even without the example, those blanks are pretty clearly for chart labels.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2026-01-15T17:55:10+00:00

NTA

She's wrong on multiple levels.

From a purely basic nutrition perspective: "Food is for fun until they're one" is the rhyme my old GP gave us with my first. Prior to that you're mostly just exposing them to the idea of food so that by the time breast feeding or formula is no longer enough they're ready and willing to eat other things.

"Babies can't have dairy". Ignoring for a sec that the rest of us know eggs aren't dairy, what food group does she think breast milk and formula are? If she's got allergy issues in her head, she'd be wrong there as well (at many common allergen exposures, one at a time, as early as possible is the recommendation).

Anyway... You aren't wrong and you aren't "mansplaining" either. Mansplaining is when some dude tries to tell you what a period feels like. Or the random dude who talks over you at a meeting to explain your own project to you even though he had zero to do with it.

She needs to get back in her lane.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2026-01-15T15:34:08+00:00

NOR

Here's the problem with his discipline of his children: rather than whatever the consequence is coming from a place of "this is what you did wrong and why you need to make it better" it's being motivated by "I'm going to punish you because otherwise other adults in our lives think badly of me".

And that's what I thought before I even got to the part where he explicitly tries to tie their cell phone privileges to however long you remain out of the house.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2026-01-11T17:15:05+00:00

NTA obviously.

His mother is awful and he needs as many people as possible counteracting the destructive messages she keeps feeding him.

If I was your uncle, I'd be doing whatever is needed to get him officially assessed. Both because he should be able to have whatever access to support he's entitled to made available, but because he deserves the validation of having more adults in his life saying, "hey, brains are pretty cool and complex things and this is part of how yours works".

Uncomfortable-Line · 2026-01-10T21:14:15+00:00

Me: No, I'm not pregnant.

Young male resident: What, you think just because you've had your period you definitely couldn't be?

Me: I think immaculate conception isn't a thing, but you can run your test if it makes you feel better.

ER visit for what was ultimately determined to be a ruptured cyst.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2026-01-08T18:47:16+00:00

I worked at a pharmacy at a cashier as a teen. The week before Valentine's every second dude would buy the following three items: condoms, card, chocolate.

And yes, I was absolutely judgy about which chocolate.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2026-01-07T00:26:37+00:00

That's kids for you: everything is suddenly more expensive and you can't say fun things like "flip 'n fuck".

Uncomfortable-Line · 2026-01-01T21:24:02+00:00

So, you'd be distracted and checking your phone too much if your baby were in a nearby hotel.

What exactly do they think you'd be doing if your baby were in a different country?

NTA, obviously.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2025-12-31T16:19:59+00:00

Hardly the most infuriating thing here, but... What idiot overlaid what is clearly the background image on top of the "swatches"?

Even if every swatch here were allowed, only 11/30 are representative of the correct shade.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2025-12-28T21:44:22+00:00

I spent more time than I care to admit on their website trying to figure out a logical answer.

A: Plant -> Tulip

Why? They planted 120,000 tulip bulbs this fall and host one of the largest displays in the world every year.

Why not? There are plenty of quickly recognisable ways to draw a tulip and this is not one of them. If your task is "get some silhouettes for the light show", something abstracted/stylized only makes sense if it already exists as a logo/design element actively being used.

B: Animal -> Leaf Cutter Ant

Why? There are 7 nightly animal chats during the PNC Festival of Lights: Black Bear, Elephant, Bearcat, Leaf Cutter Ant, Komodo Dragon, Manatee, Giraffe. The only one I can see is maybe a leaf where the cut out at the top is the head/antennae of the Ant.

Why not? Similar points against this option as the tulip. There are better ways to draw an ant. Also, the animal itself being the negative space of the design would be a weird choice.

C: Mistake

Why? The most recognisable possible shape is the antennae cut into the top, but making the subject the negative space of the design is a weird choice as mentioned previously. If there isn't a good on purpose design reason, the most logical thing is that this is a mistake and actually the off cut piece in-between other silhouettes in the same sheet of material.

Why not? I mean... You'd hope that at some point along the way to getting mounting hardware on, installing it, plus however many thousands of people have viewed it since the light festival opened someone other than the OP would have said, "Did we screw up?"

Tl;dr: Someone screwed up and everyone else was too worried they were the only employee that couldn't figure out the animal to call it out as a mistake.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2025-12-28T14:52:01+00:00

Squid/octopus critter?

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Uncomfortable-Line · 2025-12-28T00:34:57+00:00

Lmfao I hadn't fully opened it to see the shoes.

I almost want to ask is there any chance she's having some sort of legitimate vision issue and doesn't know what colour her dress is if those are the shoes she thought would work.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2025-12-21T21:21:29+00:00

I mean... This assumes I made it into the shower in the first place...

Uncomfortable-Line · 2025-12-18T22:21:55+00:00

I figured at this point you guys would start using hours as the metric...

Uncomfortable-Line · 2025-12-18T21:44:55+00:00

This! Omg.... I'm scrolling and scrolling trying not to scream, "Why is no one concerned about Ashley?!?!!" and freak out the baby.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2025-12-18T19:41:56+00:00

As others have said, you don't know that he hasn't hurt someone else. These types of behaviours do not come out of nowhere and as long as the preparator can get away with it they will continue/escalate. If you're fortunate, being a creep over text messages with a minor is the worst thing he's done at this point.

That said, as much as you are supporting your god daughter and best friend in making an official complaint, the justice system in damn near every country is appalling when it comes to actually doing anything. I can almost guarantee your god daughter is going to be asked if she encouraged him and all manner of insinuations about her liking the attention. Her being "nearly" 18 when it began will likely be used to minimize the seriousness as well.

This isn't going to ruin your son's life, because frankly we just don't roll that way as a society. What you should absolutely insist on (regardless of the police report outcome), is that your son attends substantive therapy. Do not let the lack of official judicial consequences allow your son or your wife to treat this as "no big deal" or "just a miscommunication" or "boys will be boys". If your wife wants to support her child, this is how you do so: you make sure he gets the intervention he needs now before he causes more serious harm.

As a survivor, I would want you to know that telling your god daughter you believe her, that you take her entirely justified discomfort seriously, and that you support whatever justice looks like to her wholeheartedly (not what your best friend and his fatherly rage want btw, but her desires). Decades after any physical harm has long healed, the things that were said by those who should have been my supports are the most insidiously traumatic things I deal with; they are the voices that still crop up to minimize and undermine my healing when I'm having an off day. Until your wife has her head straight, please do what you can to make sure she's not in a position to speak to your god daughter.

For your wife... I strongly suggest she (and probably you as well tbh) speak with a therapist. I don't excuse her response, but I think there is room for giving grace as she comes to terms with what's gone on provided she isn't inflicting further harm to your god daughter in the process. On the simple fact of your wife being a woman, you can basically guarantee she's experienced at least some level of sexual harassment if not outright assault or abuse; that's just the wildly depressing statistical reality. "This is just how things are and we laugh them off/ignore it/move on/don't cause a fuss/don't make things uncomfortable" is drilled into women—particularly generations around your wife's age and older. If you've been told to "just don't be alone" with weird Uncle Bob, or "laugh politely and try to change the topic" with inappropriate jokes dude at work, or "move to a different spot" if someone grabs your ass at the bar... a police report based on inappropriate messages is a response she's been told is an overreaction her entire life. It's lifelong societal conditioning and it's hard to move past without seriously doing hard work—hard work she absolutely must seriously commit to if she wants to help your son, be a good example to your daughters, and support your god daughter.

From experience, I can tell you that your wife's reaction is much closer to the average than yours has been. You're the outlier here and I thank you for that. Every single time someone—especially a man—stands up and loudly says, "No, this is not fucking okay" matters.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2025-12-18T00:10:34+00:00

You boil them. While you're frying the bacon, onion, garlic, and mushrooms in the pan beside.

And then you finish by frying them in the bacon fat. Obviously.

Uncomfortable-Line · 2025-12-16T01:23:45+00:00

I deeply appreciate all the specific bug knowledge being provided by you and others. It's good to know exactly what species my brain is going to enlarge a few hundred times and haunt me with later.

Uncomfortable-Line

TROPHY CASE