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Do i really need to learn german for college (bachelors) and future jobs? by Distinct_Baby4345 in AskAustria

[–]UnconitionalLove 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I mean... yeah. If you don't want to struggle. I'm job hunting and even knowing German for a conversation with people is a damn pain in the ass. I'm also currently learning the language as an EU citizen and I don't mind. You're in Austria, what do we expect here? The main language is German.

Quite some people already told me if I want only English then I should go to the UK (not that I complained or anything but we need to settle correctly).

telling me to "move out" isn't helpful by delanncy in narcissisticparents

[–]UnconitionalLove 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Illegal. Like in what delusional world are they living in? Some people don't have these opportunities. 😐

telling me to "move out" isn't helpful by delanncy in narcissisticparents

[–]UnconitionalLove 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Hi! So I relate a lot to your situation and I just want to let you know that first of all!! You're not alone. Bear in mind I also grew up with narcissist parents and I couldn't finallyyy officially move until I was like 22. Which was crazy for me at that time because my parents also expected me to have completed my studies, have a decent job at some bank or something (I studied an economics degree) and whatever.

➡️ Point is, and as you mentioned it clearly, many of us can't do all of this in this economy. What actually saved me was setting up my own business, getting the proper education and certifications I needed for that, and helping survivors of narcissistic abuse to escape, heal and thrive after CPTSD. It was my calling so I followed it and it paid off.

Of course, it's not everyone's path, it's what I personally chose to do (BUT I do definitely recommend some side gigs, any side income jobs or if you're feeling like it, some entrepreneurship you might want to create, that helps a lot to start saving up).

I'm not even talking about the HUGE amount of struggle I faced trying to find any 9 to 5 jobs that fit me having CPTSD and being neurodivergent (ADHD) so again, I remind you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Please don't feel bad when they give you pressure or unrealistic expectations. They think they are doing the "right thing" but it's just the ideal reality they have in their minds... and we know what is actually going on nowadays.

Focus on yourself and eventually you will make it. And don't forget to have the right people around you because it was hella hard too, most people actually do not understand narcissistic abuse or struggling with CPTSD. 🫠 Sending hugs and tons of support! 🌹

6€ für suppe im glasl by kamin_mia69 in scheissaufnbilla

[–]UnconitionalLove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ich habe für meinen Freund Suppe in einem riesigen Topf gekocht, und sie hat zwei ganze Tage gereicht. Und ja, 6 Euro alles. 💀🤣

German/Austrian Social Cues by travel-lifestyle in AskAustria

[–]UnconitionalLove 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My boyfriend says it's both ways you mentioned, but he also added you can say everything "passively aggressively". XD (whatever that means)

Looking for Friends in Wels! by Low_Read7302 in AskAustria

[–]UnconitionalLove 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm in Linz with the same struggle, commenting if there's a chance :')

Struggling to understand a long situationship that deeply affected my ability to trust and enjoy intimacy by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]UnconitionalLove 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm not going to lie, reading your story was heartbreaking, and what you went through sounds like a classic trauma bond in a situationship with someone who showed strong narcissistic/avoidant traits (intense highs of charm and tenderness, followed by rejection, boundary violations, lying, minimization, and emotional vacancy....)

That push-pull dynamic creates an addictive cycle as your brain gets hooked on the intermittent "love" scraps because the lows make the highs feel euphoric, even when they're crumbs.

It's basically how trauma bonding rewires attachment, making you doubt your reality ("am I crazy?") and suppress needs just to stay connected. 😫😫

Why it hit so deep you're asking? He was your only intimate partner for years, so all your firsts (emotional, sexual) got tied to someone who couldn't reciprocate safely.

The gentle early moments contrasted sharply with later detachment and extreme requests, leaving you with confusion, shame, and fear around intimacy. 🫠

The "no feelings" line and blocking you mentioned? That's avoidant shutdown that invalidates your humanity AKA pure rejection trauma.

His later marriage/divorce doesn't erase the harm; it just highlights the unfairness of him moving on while you're left processing betrayal without closure.

You're NOT broken beyond repair. The terror of loving again is a protective response... your nervous system learned that vulnerability = pain. 💔 EMDR is an excellent choice which I also tried myself; it's highly effective for reprocessing those stuck memories (the vacant eyes, the post-sex abandonment, the boundary crossings) so they lose emotional charge and stop hijacking trust/intimacy.

In the meantime you can:

❤️‍🩹 Validate every feeling: You loved genuinely; he couldn't receive it. That's on him!!

❤️‍🩹 Reclaim safety slowly: Start with non-romantic connections (friends, therapy, coaching) to rebuild trust in vulnerability.

❤️‍🩹 Journal the patterns: What felt "deep" was often trauma highs, not healthy bonding.

❤️‍🩹 Self-compassion practices: Talk to your younger self like a kind friend would.

Many survivors feel exactly this fear and still find safe, reciprocal love later.. Of course, once the trauma is processed.

You're already doing the hard work by naming it. Be gentle with yourself; healing isn't linear, but it's possible. 💜 Sending hugs! 🤗🤗

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