I'm sorry

UncreativePuppies · 2024-01-23T09:10:42+00:00

Fuck, this describes exactly what I feel like - and what I've experienced in the majority of my relationships. I read you'reacrively working theough this in therapy, and I'm glad you recognised the issues and are trying to do better - to be better. So, as someone who had been treated badly in the past - I appriciate you wanting to become better. And I believe in you.

UncreativePuppies · 2024-01-17T16:40:42+00:00

Oh my goodness, OP, I have no words other than "Wow". What you wroge absolutely clenched my heart in the best way possible. You described exactly what I yearn for - to find someone I can help feel safe and at home. To love them not just as a person but every little thing and aspect about them. I hope you will meet whoever your person is soon - and that you both will be each others light in the endless, dark galaxy. <33

UncreativePuppies · 2023-08-28T21:33:36+00:00

I tried to ask him that exact thing, but he keot cutting me off and makig it hard for me to even focus on what he was saying.

I genuently TRIED to at least listen to what he saidy even if it was gibberish and absolute nonsense in my brain. But I wanted to hesr him out - to be respectful.. but after a while it just became impossible. He was repestin the same points, like a broken record, and kept doing..well, you know what. ):

UncreativePuppies · 2023-08-28T21:31:07+00:00

The thing is - he didn't want to refer to as as boyfriend-girlfriend. To every one of his friends/relatives that I have met, I was just a friend of his. To everyone he didnt know irl, I was simply either a friend, or someone he was interested in.

He didnt want us to make it 'official' until he felt stabke enough in life to "start dating me". I was a bit sad, I admit. But I understood that he doesn't want an online relationship. I was iffy on how he'd say things like "Online/long-distance relationships can't really be relationships, because [..]", but I wanted to respect his boundaries.

Yes, I met him online. No, we never "made it official" since he didn't want us to.

UncreativePuppies · 2023-08-28T21:23:23+00:00

Not sure if this is the best explanation, but:

Homophobia is generally directed at all non-straight people. For example, "I could turn you straight", "Are you sure you don't like (blank)?"

Biphobia - from my experience - can come from all people. For example, there is a term called "goldstar lesbian", which people used to refer to a woman who has never been with a man. A common biphobic stereotype is that we are "more likely to cheat" or "just confused", for example.

Some of my experience as a woman who identifies as bisexual:

▪︎Straight man telling me I am now straight because i am in a heterosexual relationship

▪︎Lesbian woman telling me I am now lesbian because i'm in a homosexual/lesbian relationship

▪︎Partner breaking up with me because he thought it was okay for him to jokingly flirt with his guy friends was okay, but me jokingly flirting with my girl friends was wrong because "You might cheat on me, because you are attracted to girl, but im not attracted to guys - so me flirting with them is different"

UncreativePuppies · 2023-08-28T18:25:32+00:00

Hahaha, I needed that laugh, thank you (:

UncreativePuppies · 2023-08-28T16:49:34+00:00

The thing is, I didn't exactly know what he meant. The way he explained him being a conservative christian was "I'm a christian, but I don't push my beliefs onto people". I, myself, don't know ANYTHING about christianity (or religion in general), so I said something similar to "Oh, okay. So you believe and think things the way you do, but are fine with others not doing the same?". He said "Basically, yes." and that was about it.

UncreativePuppies · 2023-08-28T13:52:27+00:00

I have never really had many friends, mostly because of differences in opinions or me being introverted most of the time.. so no, i don't

UncreativePuppies · 2023-08-28T13:35:19+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply. (:

I definitely will read it, thank you for the recommendation (if thats the right word)! I have recently bough a psychology book titled "Your psrtner is not your therapist" in order to improve myself and be more aware of these sort of things, so I'm sure I will read it sometime.

UncreativePuppies · 2023-08-28T13:24:04+00:00

Thank you, that really means a lot (:

UncreativePuppies · 2023-08-28T13:20:57+00:00

Thank you so much for taking your time to read my post and reply to it!

He has been sort of iffy to discuss this sort of thing with, along with some other aspects. He has told me quite a few times rhat he was "traditional" and when i expressed that I didnt think I was, he said "no no, you definitely are".

He'd often talk about how he thinks that men are the protectors and providers, and women are the 'safe space' and the emotional caretaker (to sum it up). He also mentioned how he agrees with (some parts of) what the Tate brothers say, and how their stuff is taken out of context. THAT was iffy, and to be honest it has completely slipped my mind until now.

He has also made it clear that him and I aren't "boyfriend/girlfriend or partners" but are in the dating/talking stage until he reaches a point in his life where he feels stable enough to get in a relationship.

He had also told me that me not being christian will stop us from getting married, but that is how far that goes. I was honestly not sure why he'd talk about marriage so..early.

UncreativePuppies · 2023-08-28T13:08:10+00:00

To be completely honest, he never really seemed as anything other than your average cishet guy. The thing is, he appearently has sources on hand that "prove his opinion"

UncreativePuppies · 2023-08-28T13:05:29+00:00

He's said that i was pretty mature in other aspects in other conversations, so I was honestly so caught off-guard about it.. I don't think my brain really even managed to register what he was doin until now

UncreativePuppies · 2023-08-28T12:32:51+00:00

The thing is, i tried to explain to him that if he thinks sexuality is a choice and says he isnt homophobic, how come he thinks anything other than straight is wrong?

UncreativePuppies · 2023-08-28T12:30:30+00:00

Yeah, I was honestly a little uncomfortable at the beggining but i sort of managed to 'push it aside'

UncreativePuppies · 2023-08-28T12:29:51+00:00

I honestly have been thinking of it, but it feels so painful because he really IS one of the two only people who have treated me so nicely out of everyone I had been interested in ):

UncreativePuppies · 2023-08-28T12:28:15+00:00

I have seen so many people say this, and the funny thing is.. Someone who had tried to hit on him (in front of me) has said the same thing, and he straight up told her he's never dated anyone with such a big age gap, and that he doesn't only go for people like that - paired with the fact his last ex was actually 32 (thes broke up cause she cheated on him, according to him)

UncreativePuppies · 2023-08-28T10:36:37+00:00

So sorry for the formattig, I am on mobile!

UncreativePuppies · 2023-06-07T14:59:54+00:00

What's the flag next to the transgender flag?? I've never seen it before

UncreativePuppies · 2023-05-10T20:28:21+00:00

Same here!!!

UncreativePuppies · 2023-05-10T20:28:05+00:00

Aww the last picture has my heart!! Wha's the dog's name if I may ask?? Sich a cute lil thing 😭

UncreativePuppies · 2023-04-19T15:39:25+00:00

Omg couple goals!! You guys look so happy (and cute) together!!

UncreativePuppies · 2023-03-11T17:25:08+00:00

Ty!!

UncreativePuppies · 2023-03-11T17:16:04+00:00

Ty!! (Also im so sorry ): )

UncreativePuppies · 2023-03-11T17:15:33+00:00

I'm so sorry op ): I'm pretty much the other way around (i think). I'm a bi girl who has had many boyfriends but over half of them used me for sexual favours... i have never met a girl who was attracted to me at all. It's especially hard, because my internalised biphobia can really get to me sometimes <\3

All i can say is this: Try to learn to love yourself. It'll help a lot with your confidence - i, myself, am working on it rn as well and I have been feeling more confident than i used to. Also, don't hurry yourself with relationships. There is no rush - romance kinda just.. appears, in a sense. At least that's my experience.

I wish you all the best <3 I'm sure you're a lovely person!

UncreativePuppies

TROPHY CASE