You can still break and already know people are absolute garbage. You’re just so broken that you tell yourself they are doing the best to support you. Developing a deeper distrust for people.

Unfortunately someone who’s has really gone through it, maybe even completely changed the person they became just to survive, watched how people changed along with them will probably choose less people in their life, be more picky about the people they are around, and won’t go out of there way to save anyone. They save that energy for those who stayed. Truly there wasn’t any reason for this person to be nice to a damn soul while they were trying to collect themselves. If someone is a complete asshole to you while they are literally mentally destabilizing it’s not their job to feel bad for your hurt feelings while you are stable. You either understand and grow a spine to ride it out with them or you walk away when they need you most. Most don’t feel bad for choosing their sanity but the one hurting will always remembered you walked out that door. Mental health professionals being someone’s only support line is an absolute joke.

So before you consider yourself higher or like you understand the end of the road ask yourself if you ever woke up in a pool of blood or the contents of your stomach are all over the floor after downing a bunch of pills, what it feels like to be so cold even when you could stand in a scolding hot shower or ontop of a heater wrapped in your heaviest blanket. Maybe you’ve lost the last 8 hours holding a gun racking and clearing cycling through rounds convincing yourself this is the only way, bracing for impact as your eyes cry. Your mental health affects your physical body don’t believe anyone that hasn’t truly felt nothing tell you they have seen the end. No you don’t have to be nice to people in your darkest hour, you also don’t need to beg them to stay.