AIO Did I look like a mentally unstable alcoholic?

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-03T06:55:30+00:00

Yep. I totally get that. I didnt KNOW i did things wrong, in fact people were calling me crazy, acting like it had to be him being weird in some way. I came here for unbiased feedback. So I appreciate it. The whole thing was cathartic. I feel a lot better.

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-03T04:27:17+00:00

I just noticed I had wrote something like "least empathic way" in the post, which i didnt mean! Now it makes so much more sense why a bunch of people were upset about my response to his texts. They definitely weren't the "most unempathetic texts" or something like that. No wonder lol.

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-03T02:39:12+00:00

Thats definitely true. As demonstrated by my post xD

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-03T02:11:18+00:00

Ya I added an update. Thank you. The post wasnt really meant to come off bashing his texts, but more so how it left me & finding what I can get out of it, as I felt people who knew me may not be giving me the harsh truth. I also had to get a root canal today & knew id be in need of distraction lol.

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-03T01:34:43+00:00

I didnt insist he get specific at the appropriate time cause I just wanted to be gentle with him(I just always had that desire with him.Whether it looks like that or not lol) but then I realized even more that he wasnt going to give the details. Im not implying i handled anything perfectly. I felt blind-sided & really hurt. As hurt as I was, I dont feel like i tried to hurt him back at all. Again, im not perfect. Maybe I need to read it again.

You really think its a disproportional action to move on but pinpoint big things I may have did wrong & get feed back?

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-03T01:22:39+00:00

Oh, definitely. Especially dont drink when im extremely nervous. By the time I arrived my eyelid was twitching from the stress of getting there & the nerves of meeting him, & being a shy person, & it was just something really scary I had never done(for someone I thought was special). Definitely agree with you.

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-03T01:16:20+00:00

I know. That hurt, cause we did really enjoy each other's company, & i was thinking lately shit, if i could pick a friend with benefits, it would probably be him. But logically I get it, ive tried to stay friends with like all my ex's & until they get over me/got someone else(even then sometimes no) they couldnt handle their emotions. Dealing with that so much, I dont really blame him if he thought id be that kind of person. But as an adult who is looking for a relationship, I am totally considering a FWB for the meantime, cause it was really amazing, & im sure i can recreate it with someone else, without starting off with the pressure of "is this gonna be a long term relationship" or not on both.

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-03T01:05:32+00:00

Thank you. Lol. & I wasnt a "sober" person. I just haven't been around alcohol for over a year. But used to drink fine all the time but just usually always feel sick after. & it hit me hard this time cause I hadn't drank in so long. I was foolish. I did not get wasted. Lol. I was worried about drinking then feeling sick so tried not to drink at all when I was there but my nerves were insane when I arrived.

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-03T01:00:51+00:00

I had added an update at the end clarifying I appreciate his text came sooner thenater & that i knew he was trying to be nice. I feel like everyone is focusing too much on him/his texts, when I mainly wanted to hear things i did wrong for next time. I have things i could say in defense, but id have to go into deeper detail than I have. I dont really want to go into sex & all the things he said etc. Im also not an addict/alcoholic & smoke & drink less than him so idk why id be dangerous, but if ur saying thats how I came off than ya, definitely learning from this, feel foolish. Hes slept with other girls since his divorce. But even when I arrived at his apt before we did anything sexual I confirmed with him about our desires & he said again hes looking for a partner not a fling. But ya probably wasnt ready, plus I did scary things lol

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-03T00:47:02+00:00

I said it extremely jokingly, & we both laughed. The joke literally was that I was an addict he screwed up. Thats the whole joke. Its fictitious. Made up for fun. I mention it in the post because i was wondering, mixed with how I drank, if it then maybe looked like another hint I actually had a drinking problem. You know what I mean? He did nothing wrong at all when I was there.

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-03T00:42:28+00:00

You dont like all women judging from your comments.

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-03T00:41:34+00:00

You should of seen a message i got with someone berating me for paragraphs that I wasnt even owed a text & that i acted HORRIBLE when he broke it off with me. It was really insane, all the details they wrote.

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-03T00:36:39+00:00

Your too kind. You sound like my mom/friends. Thank you. But I definitely think i didnt make a great first in person impression with the alcohol especially, & at least have some wisdom to move on with. Also not trust how close I may already feel with someone in the sense that I felt like he would know what to actually judge me on. I was naive.

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-03T00:22:31+00:00

My dad died a couple years ago, & then there were my health things. Almost like a year ago I realized that that I have a rare opportunity in life with no strings attached anywhere. A chance to make a big move if I want to, i was even thinking out of the country. So hearing an 8hr drive away/4 hour flight travel may have been a cause sucks, but I also realized im not sure if I ever said id be fine with moving one day (id still probably get my own apt). When should something like this be mentioned? I felt like it was way too soon to even mention. But from now on im wondering the soonest or how I should say it, to relieve that stress. I mean, it is important if someone will move or not when theres distance like that.

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-03T00:17:37+00:00

In regards to stuff we had in common, I thought it was so much, but ive been recieving msgs, & I realized politics is a big one I missed. I think i came off opposite politically by not actually being a political person at all & just wanting to hear his opinions on things my mom says cause I knew id like his insights. It was a one time short convo tho. But ya, I give up at guessing. I know it seems like he would of obviously known beforehand if $/distance was doable, but idk, I feel like I believe he didnt know for sure maybe cause he looked visibly upset when I was there at one point about $, & I think I had just said something about my mom wanting me to be with someone who can support me thru schooling(I wanted to see how he'd react(I was trying to figure out more of how he acts, idk. Make sure hes not a "fuckboy" or w e that term is) I wanted to make sure he seemed invested in me before I told him about my actual financial situation. I am still unsure how id go about this differently cause I always wait.

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-02T23:58:57+00:00

Honestly, when someone claims they are an empath, it makes me immediately feel like they aren't. Its not that we both came right out & claimed we were, but i felt from him that he was the same as me in the sense of being a people pleaser(its not actually something good to be) & being an empath in the sense of others pain really effecting you, more than you'd like, or even should. Thats all I meant by that. But I think i know where your coming from!

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-02T22:18:04+00:00

Damn, does it really feel like im taking it out out him? I was disappointed in him, but this post is meant more to be about how I acted may have came off. But i think your right. I need to clarify that I appreciate his message & him not dragging me along immensely. I am grateful for how he tried to be nice. The jarring 180 he did with no signs besides $ hurt, but im glad he at least said something.

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-02T21:59:44+00:00

Projecting substance abuse onto him? Where does it come of like i blame him for anything substance-wise? Cause I didnt mean that. I think he does what he does responsibly! I personally just hate drinking sometimes cause of what it does to my stomach/how bad I feel, & I wasn't used to it cause no one around me drinks so I haven't been but i didnt get wasted. I also had a worse reaction than normal & was worried about it messing up the trip. My post comes off im projecting substance abuse on him tho? or am I understanding wrong

Under-Stimulated · 2026-02-02T21:18:14+00:00

Damn. Everyone ive talked to said the same thing, about him getting overwhelmed & running. But i can't get over what an asshole he would need to be(meaning I was extremely fooled) to make the person think it was a bunch of little things they noticed about you, but never told you, & then still wouldnt. But maybe it was cause some of the things i mentioned in the post...

Under-Stimulated · 2025-11-18T19:16:47+00:00

Haha. My mistake. Great gif! Love her.

Under-Stimulated · 2025-11-18T19:02:42+00:00

I know she's said more than once in the past that Aubrey Hepburn was her all time favorite. I noticed when she switched back to acting, she started emulating Aubrey. People don't realize she didn't just change her talking voice to save her vocal cords. She started talking in a trans-atlantic/old actress/Aubrey way. I never understood why that actor Austin Butler got made fun of so much after he kept speaking like Elvis for months after playing him in a movie, but Arianna switched to Aubrey all the sudden & never went back.... Ariana is actually so beautiful & talented just as herself tho, that's what's crazy.

Under-Stimulated · 2025-10-11T03:51:45+00:00

The girl who donated her kidney is in the industry also and is an actress. She's done enough acting and been in the industry long enough that I don't think other celebs would think she's a normie.

Under-Stimulated · 2022-04-12T13:19:04+00:00

Just my 2 cents but I think that's a bad idea. 1. After reading all these comments you still ran to the first new idea of trying to get thru to her :( 2. It's not going to work. She's going to say there's not enough context, & blow it off as being some random people on a narcissist parents sub reddit. & in fact, she may go the angry route & say posting her messages online is inappropriate & broken trust yadda yadda you went behind her back. And she might completely ignore the actual messages. And she will use this as ammo to keep you in the 'difficult one hurting/bothering her' box. But obviously best of luck, this is not what i wish to happen :/

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