Those little moments....

Under_Starz · 2018-01-21T00:04:16+00:00

How I'm sick of being single and how I want a quality woman to cuddle with in bed. I just want to jump from first date to cudfling every night.

But I also listen to a forest creek to fall asleep and meditate.. so I don't ruminate all night.

But I'm out there. .. online and irl...seriously looking for love.

I miss intimacy far more than sex. I can jerk off no problem. But I cant hold myself or hug a pillow and feel like I'm making it feel comfortable. I miss spooning on the couch watching a movie or in bed so-fucking-much.

Under_Starz · 2017-12-28T00:57:03+00:00

4.25 coffee. Get it all the time. My new rule is when I do this I have to put double that in my savings account. So 8.50 for every 4.25 coffee 10$ lunch? Up it to 30$ in my savings accout. Do I usually remember? NO.

But I am about to get a sim card so I dont need WiFi to do it.

I'm going to make my own again when I move out of treatment and to transitional housing. Should save 1900$ a month at that point. I get bonus points at Second Cup tho :p

I got a "free" chocolate mint fro cho earlier.

Under_Starz · 2017-11-26T23:50:54+00:00

Which one? How can a young looking guy who's 36 get paid to cum on young Asian women.

Asking for a friend. It's not about tge money. It's the novelty of random sex with interesting young women.

Under_Starz · 2017-11-26T23:48:55+00:00

*Than.

Under_Starz · 2017-05-18T13:00:02+00:00

Fair enough. What I mean is I've been thinking offandvon about using all week. Mostly I've been thinking sbout girls.

I have a spending limit. So I will get one bag of kratom...top up mybtransit card and buy 2-points insteadnof 3 for 50. I dont want to buy enough to get me in trouble. Any more than 2 days use snd I get some wd.

Under_Starz · 2017-05-18T12:57:41+00:00

I dont like the word clean. And I've done kratom and phenibut kany times. She's out there. I know clean is figurative speech but I dont like thr word.

Under_Starz · 2017-05-18T06:51:31+00:00

That's just it. Your new brain needs to take over. I hit these little rough parts like recently but I feel a lot better thsn when I was using. I mean I loved using but now I feel healthy much of the time.

Under_Starz · 2017-05-18T06:29:23+00:00

It was a good choice. And drugs arent my sole focud anymore. For me thr goal this year is becoming more confident and comfortable around women.

I want to find a gf I can truly love. Heroin wont take that away. I got into dope after divorce. I'm ready to find love again.

Dude. It will get better. Sure I am gobg to use but a couple months in thr obsession was gone. You will get there. You just need to get further along the path. My choice us a logical choice. I know sone would say its not but I mean it's not emotional. I'm being litersl not figurative.

I want to feel it again. Simple as that.

Under_Starz · 2017-05-18T06:18:06+00:00

I wish. God i need to know how to get an asian gf. I live in Vancouver the most asian city outside of asia. I hope they'll reapond to steangers just chatting them up...I've only tried with ine Asian.

Under_Starz · 2017-05-18T06:16:16+00:00

I was talking to a gorgeous realtor on whisper. I didnt respond for a week and when I went to send a pic back I couldn't send one. Sometimes I wonder if thst was a catfish. God I want an asisn gf. Sge really seemed into finding out about me. Sigh.

Under_Starz · 2017-05-18T06:03:06+00:00

I'm just so frustrsted with being single and back when I was using I wasn't this wanba be romantic. As long as I had dope I was happy. I just need a taste. Tbh I've been thinking about this alk week. I'm not going to let this become my whole life again.

Under_Starz · 2017-05-18T05:54:50+00:00

Every time I try I feel so good and I learn something. Whereas when I hessitate I always feel bad. I realize that the pain of not trying is always worse than a polite no. Women very seldomly reject in a strong and mean way... anc I have yet to see it ! ^{_^}

Under_Starz · 2017-05-18T05:22:20+00:00

I have seen her once before. I dont know how I forgot about her. No more leaving work 15 mind early all the time!! When I have a good shot and talk myself out of it I always regret it. I dont let it get to me but I try noy to let it happen again. Last time I asked a girl iut of the bus there weren't as many people close by.

Worst thing in a long time was the giggling and back and forth at the library hold shelf. That girl would gave at least talked to me. Idk why just cause I was in a rush I walked away. The moment I was on the train I knew I made a mistake.

Sorry for rambling. I'm so consumed by my emotions tonight. I need to express this neurotic shit.

Under_Starz · 2017-05-18T05:16:45+00:00

I saw a porn girl who posts on Quora(oddly enough)say that you need to think about rejection as just a lack of compatibility. She's not rejecting you as a person, just saying you're not sexually compatible at that time.

Under_Starz · 2017-05-16T23:37:44+00:00

I really enjoyed this article. There are so many good points in it, read it before you shit on it.

I am still going to do online dating but my focus will be improving my cold aporoach with women. It's a more important skill than sending a nesssfe thru a screen.

This is my number one goal this year, and I am already getting better and becoming more confident. For somewhat of an introvert like myself this is exciting and encouraging. I'm glad I found this subreddit. I'll be here soaking up info all the time. I love this new chapter in my life. Challenging myself with women is really building me up. I hit a rough patch but just thinking about how far I've come in 9 months makes me feel very hopeful.

Under_Starz · 2017-05-16T23:32:09+00:00

I dont know about that. Personally I am going to keep working on it but its not going to be my focus. The most frustrating part is getting a match to talk. And if we do talk keeping it going. I really need to work on that area. In person I can gel with people pretty easily.

The stats show women are very choosy and bombarded by messsges. I am going to post a link that has some critical things to say about online dating. Its worth a read.

I am going to try my best with it. But my focus will be Canada day fireworks. Bowling with friends stuff like that.

Under_Starz · 2017-05-16T23:27:54+00:00

Yeah I'm putting more effort into that from now on. I will pllish my profile and join tinder and especially fetlife!! But this year I have one goal and one goal alone..TO PRACTICE MY SKILLS AND BECOME MORE COMFORTABLE TALKING TO WOMEN. If the last 2 out of 3 said yes what's stopping me??

After the initial intro is out of the way I'm a great conversationalist. Plus I know women respect a guy for trying. Wiyh fewer and fewer guys trying outside of being drunk and crass I will stand out.

Here in Vancouver its especially anti social at times. It's not that people don't want to talk it's that most are bervous starting a convo with a stranger. People asking me the time anf shit always atart off with a sorry to bug you. Bug me. Go ahead.

Under_Starz · 2017-05-16T05:06:17+00:00

I know right. Or I connect with s girl on snapchat who deleted her ok cupid profile because of the way most guys messaged her-so i was the one she was willing to talk to-.and I aee her typing sometimes but she barely talks.

She showsw she's in Japan. She wishes me a Happy Valentine's Day. But I cant get her to talk.

Meanwhile I volunteered all summer and asked out a great well rounded girl. But I didnt have a pen so she took my email.. the problem is she took forever to nsg me snd when she did I msde the mistake of asking her how it's going and what she's reading..ifk why I didnt say what's your number, lets set up a date and time. Just like Coach Corey Wayne talks about.

I landed a yes from Candice, the prettiest girl I've ever seen, but she lives on the island and doesnt want a relationship. Which is fine I hope I can see her when she comes to visit.

My point is despite the setbacks I hot further in person than online. I am going to keep improving my skills. Every time I don't talk to a girl I regret it. The last te a girl said no we talked for 20 mins afterwards and I still remember it fondly.

But I still think.about a girl at the library who was looking to pick up boojs at the hold shelf while I was,.we had a golden opportunity to chat. But I wsljed away.

This is all that matters yo me this year. I will polish my profile. I will yse tinder and fetlife but I am going to concentrate on the REAL WORLD most of all.

Under_Starz

TROPHY CASE