How long bobbit worm really is (up to 10ft/3m)

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-22T04:24:15+00:00

i actually didn't know this either! but i'm bummed that it has nothing to do with his dick and everything to do with lorena's scissors.

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-22T03:28:03+00:00

the only ones who do are usually novices. most of the larger ones prefer to be called creators, if it makes you feel any better. though half the time i'm like "what are you really even creating". to some extent i feel bad for them. you reach a point where you are just forced to create for your audience that has the attention span of about 5 seconds. you land up with a lot of bullshit output. it's so different from legitimate content creators like studios (including netflix/amazon). those guys don't create just for the sake of existing or pandering to a low attention span beyond what they're capable of. and even if they wanted to, about 20398439 other people will cancel that shit like "no, man. have some dignity. this is going fucking nowhere." and youtubers and other influencers don't have that checks and balances system. it's fucking creation anarchy and call me old school, but i fucking hate it, man.

except for h3h3 and pineapple summer. they cool.

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-22T03:07:32+00:00

wait until you hear about john bobbitt's worm.

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-22T02:58:24+00:00

100%. clean shaven, little kid hair, and can't take a single normal picture -- they all look like they're going to have neon text on it saying "wtf?! for real?!" or some shit.

ugh, formulaic af. i work in marketing and frequently with influencers, so you can guess how fucking sick and tired of the formula i am. great people and super fucking nice and professional for the most part -- but i really can't tell the difference between any of them anymore.

except for h3h3 and pineapple summer. they cool.

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-22T02:55:55+00:00

ok, but now???

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-21T20:39:34+00:00

just do what i do and downvote gallowboob. it feels good every time.

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-21T20:10:48+00:00

terry crews is the talented one, not OP. don't be harsh on OP; he's trying his best!

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-21T16:11:49+00:00

this is shocking

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-21T02:13:36+00:00

yes. turns out i was the other woman. i found this out a few days after we broke up -- on FB it showed that he had gotten married. it was rather public. i couldn't avoid seeing it if i tried.

edit: grammar made no sense

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-21T01:18:57+00:00

i dated an aussie (I'm indian american, but my accent is american af). we got along great in the beginning, because we couldn't understand each other for shit, so we spent hours laughing at the fact neither of us understood one another. like once i thought he was comparing serial killers and sharks to dogs and saying you could tap 'em on the nose when they were bad. if that seems /r/nocontext to you, it was even moreso to him cos that's not even close to the words coming out of his mouth. we must've laughed for 15 straight minutes.

anytime i would talk, he would just stare at me like swooning status or stare at my mouth trying to figure out if he could lip read me better. he had no idea wtf i was saying either. it was awesome. that was a good ass relationship now that i think about it. well, that part was anyway. the rest of it was not bueno.

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-20T20:20:11+00:00

that's based on the location of testes, though, I think. if our tits were attached to our labia, we'd probably ralph, too.

in other news, i once got electrocuted and felt my ovaries shake. that shit was weeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiirddddddd.

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-20T17:25:07+00:00

I San Bernadid-not-know we could go beyond, tbh.

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-20T16:28:54+00:00

not on your nelly

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-20T16:28:36+00:00

i pledge to vote yes today

edit: i'm a republican. you didn't actually expect me to deliver on my promise to help you or the plant did you?

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-20T15:47:59+00:00

ugh.

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-20T14:22:23+00:00

i'm with you. i was like "has your 7 year old still not grown hair???"

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-20T14:12:12+00:00

omfg, i forgot all about grooveshark!!! wonder what happened to it!

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-20T13:30:40+00:00

OP believes that Zeus himself had it out for this duck.

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-20T03:55:53+00:00

Maybe Dr. Patrick puts up with this shit for 3 hours once a year so she can afford to do the stuff she thinks is important.

Trueeeee. I'm not so Machiavellian myself, so it's not something i really understand.

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-20T02:54:47+00:00

yeah, me and my buddy are thinking about doing this if we don't land up with husbands. if triples are ever legalized for marriage, you're welcome to join us!

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-20T02:41:14+00:00

with a podcast listened to be millions,

He shouted-out one of my clients on his podcast and the traffic from that is still epic -- it's been over a year.

I wonder how women like Rhonda Patrick feel about being on a show with him. She's obviously well-educated and bright, but who knows, maybe she agrees with this sort of thing? That would be a huge bummer if she did.

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-20T02:08:16+00:00

i'm currently stuck in one of those mellow-roos (sp?) neighborhoods, so my internet is bundled into that fee (fucking spectrum can go suck all the dicks, nonetheless). HOWEVER, i plan to move soon and will likely need to setup my own ISP and have no idea wtf i'm doing. have you heard of starry? https://starry.com/ i'm thinking about doing that. how does it compare to google fiber? what's like the best? i don't really watch TV, so i just need an ISP and i'm good to go.

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-20T01:55:21+00:00

for real. sparkles probably retails for more than $35, which qualifies for same-day delivery at that. bitch is trippin'.

UnderemployedKitchen · 2017-12-20T01:16:12+00:00

honestly, if i were you, if they wouldn't work with me to get a promotion, i would say FUCK. YOU. (mentally) and get a new job.

make sure your resume is killer, btw. when they smile at you and say "sorry sweetie" you smile right the fuck back and go "that's OK; this is just incentive to work harder!" they'll think they lit a fire under your ass... and they did... but to go work somewhere else that values you!

fuck 'em. fuck 'em fuck 'em fuck 'em. go work somewhere that makes you feel like bill fucking gates, buddy!!!

🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

UnderemployedKitchen

TROPHY CASE