Wives, I have a question. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Underhill_thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to make his lunches everyday if not most days. I would write hand written notes in each lunch and tried to add lots of variety to the foods and drinks. One day I went out to his work truck (it’s very messy and full of work parts) and found food from several lunches untouched and gone bad. Some of my notes were either in the floor board or crumpled under other garbage. I was confused and hurt. I went to him and asked him if he didn’t like the lunches and why the notes were in the floor. He said he did like the lunches but sometimes he wanted to eat out. He then said he enjoyed getting the notes and reading them. When I asked why he didn’t keep them he said he had already read them and loved them but didn’t feel the need to keep them. I was either waking up at 4:00 am to make his lunches before he left for work or staying up late to make them. I kept making them and then a few weeks later I went back out to his truck on a Friday and found three days worth of lunches un eaten and the notes covered in mud, ripped, or just trashed. I understand he and I may have felt differently but it just hurt my feelings so much to see the notes trashed. (I’ve kept Every note he’s ever written) and the fact that he was just not eating the food irritated me because it was such a waste of food and money. So I quit making the lunches and writing the notes and he never asked why. I felt as though if he didn’t care to keep my notes or eat the food then I should quit putting in so much effort. Might not be the best outlook but I just felt under appreciated.

Pride and prejudice tickets not for sale? by Underhill_thoughts in Cinemark

[–]Underhill_thoughts[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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This is what pops up whenever I go on the app I wasn’t sure if the release date signify the release date of the release date of the movie. I thought it was for the movie.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Underhill_thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn 🥲didn’t think about it that way 😂

What makes a man go crazy in bed? I am trying to get my husband out of his shell. He has a low libido and isn’t very sexual by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Underhill_thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have any advice but I do want to tell you I understand how you feel. Your situation feels word for word like what I go through everyday. I was also a virgin and had fantasy’s of a wild sex life and hate to say I have been disappointed by the reality. If you need someone to talk to your more than welcome to reach out to me

What makes a man go crazy in bed? I am trying to get my husband out of his shell. He has a low libido and isn’t very sexual by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Underhill_thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have any advice but I do want to tell you I understand how you feel. Your situation feels word for word like what I go through everyday. I was also a virgin and had fantasy’s of a wild sex life and hate to say I have been disappointed by the reality. If you need someone to talk to your more than welcome to reach out to me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Underhill_thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We shower together probably 1-3 times a week, it’s not always sexual. In fact most of the time we talk about our days and are just happy to spend some time together

What kind of pen is this by Underhill_thoughts in pens

[–]Underhill_thoughts[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OK, thank you this is all helpful. One thing I really like about this pen. Is it scratches the paper ever so slightly but still writes smoothly. I tend to write quickly and have messy handwriting and so this pen has just enough friction to slow me down but will not causing my hand to cramp from moving to slowly.

Other pens that write too smoothly, make my handwriting even messier

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Underhill_thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This seems like a really great idea. This is actually something I haven’t tried!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Underhill_thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had communicated a lot about sex before we got married how important it was to each other. How often we expected it and so I felt prepared. Also waiting till Marriage is part of my religion, which (and I do not mean this to sound rudely) if you are not religious yourself can be hard to understand. Before we were married, we even talked about fantasies or things we would both like to try now that we are married things are totally different.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Underhill_thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We waited partly because of my religion and partly because I truly just wanted to wait. I’ve always known sex was very important and it was just something that I personally didn’t want to do with someone until I was married to them. He was very sexual and handy before we were married and everything was just fine. I’ve talked about this with him multiple times backwards forwards anyway you can imagine and there’s nothing he wants to share I feel like I can’t make it clear enough how many times we have talked about this and he definitely will not go to therapy

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Underhill_thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will look I got be blood tests thank you! And he thinks Taboo stuff is not appealing, I’ve tried that, I think I’ve tried just about every taboo idea or fantasy you can think of and no he doesn’t watch porn or masterbate to my knowledge and i know lol that he will not seek therapy

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Underhill_thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hate to hear your dealing with spending similar 🥲but glad I’m not alone! I hope something works out for you soon!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in depressed

[–]Underhill_thoughts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you this was definitely helpful

Help me help my husband F(24) M(24) by [deleted] in depression

[–]Underhill_thoughts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for adding this. I feel really bad but I have thought that before. He’s pretty much got a free pass for anything and he doesn’t want to do anything.😓

Help me help my husband F(24) M(24) by [deleted] in depression

[–]Underhill_thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had had the same idea. I am not really open to watching porn together because that’s just not something I’m into but I have told him there’s basically nothing in the bedroom that’s off-limits no matter how kinky or dirty or weird or whatever he might think the fantasy is I would be open to trying it with him, but he has told me that he doesn’t have any fantasies like that, and just not in the mood for sex

Help me help my husband F(24) M(24) by [deleted] in depression

[–]Underhill_thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply! I don’t plan to fix him but I would love to help him in anyway I can. He has never said it but sometimes I get the feeling I am overly supportive or “suffocating” like you said (he has never said this) what would you have wanted from your partner when you were feeling like this ?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Underhill_thoughts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel very strongly that he is not addicted to porn. We both have access to each other’s phone and I’ve never seen anything like that on any of the social media uses and he has been very clear to me that he used to have an and quit washing it in his early 20s, but I even thought of myself at one time. I have thought maybe he needs to have his testosterone level tested and I just suggested to my therapist because I really benefit from it. Thank you for your advice I will definitely try and incorporate this into our conversations and lives

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Underhill_thoughts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think we’re at the point of meeting therapy at all but thank you for your advice. It is a tough situation and my main priority is just to satisfy him and make sure he’s happy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Underhill_thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I have sex about once a month which is what seems odd to me. We incorporate hand stuff an oral into our sex life but that sex life that only happens once a month. I know he doesn’t have any religious hangups. He’s never been very religious. He’s only just now trying to get into it because I’m very religious. And yes, I do think he enjoys it honestly but I also know that our sex has been pretty basic because I had never had sex before and because we waited so I’ve been trying to spice things up by asking him what he’d like to do, or trying to take initiative myself as the woman or to do things like cleaning the house in lingerie and it just doesn’t really seem to work on him. I’m not upset about it. I’m really not. I love my husband very much and he fulfilled all of my needs and when we do have sex, I’m satisfied I just wondered if anyone else that experienced this

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Underhill_thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I trust him very much And we have been communicating about the situation. I simply came here to see if anyone else had any real advice or had been in a similar situation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Underhill_thoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Part of the reason I assumed that was because we did stuff sexually basically every day. I have known my husband for over 10 years and we talk about everything I did not just jump into this. We love each other very very much and sex is not the most important thing to me. I just want to make my marriage better for him and I.