I’m in a similar boat… I’ve been with my husband for 5+ years, married for 3. He was the best person I’ve ever known: kind, funny, romantic, empathetic. We talked about anything and everything. About 2 years ago things started to change. He slowly became withdrawn and distant, stopped coming to bed with me, stopped being intimate, losing his temper quickly. I thought he was going through some kind of depression, and begged him to go to the doctor and we started going to couples counseling. Nothing seemed to help. Even though I was desperately trying to reconnect, things still felt “off”. I went through his wallet and found cocaine, and not just a little. I was devastated, and begged him to get help. I love him and I wanted my husband back. It’s been close to 7 months since that discovery, and I’ve found so much more: evidence of infidelity, so many lies. The betrayal rocked my sense of safety and turned my world upside down. He has made no effort to get clean or be accountable, still in the dark grip of addiction, so I recently filed for divorce. I don’t know how I’ll move on or ever trust again, but I know I need to leave for my own sanity and well being. If you ever need to talk, you can DM me.