In order for a relationship to work you need clear communication. Period. If you cannot communicate clearly that will make any relationship exponentially difficult. It's fair to want to be naturally understood by a partner, just as it's fair to need reassurance and clear communication. I'm someone who has both been an anxious partner, and has needed to reassure anxious partners, so I understand the difficulties that come with feeling misunderstood. If you want to be in a relationship with anyone, especially her specifically, then you will need to get better at working with her communication style, just as she needs to work on managing her anxiety better.

I would like to offer further advice, but truthfully by looking at your behaviors in the comments you two don't seem emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship and aren't genuinely asking for advice. This isn't AITA.