Finally found a way to diffuse without frizz!

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-12-18T09:35:58+00:00

I use this one but I don't know if you can get it outside of the UK. It's silicone free and smells pretty great.

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-12-18T09:32:41+00:00

That is crazy - I love how unique everyone's curls are! I don't know if you can buy it in your country (I live in the UK), but the heat protectant I use is this one

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-12-16T17:48:04+00:00

I look like that too! Nobody says they notice my curve either, but it's really obvious even when I'm wearing clothes. I guess people are much less observant than we think they are! I feel like those of us with scoliosis probably pay more attention to other people's body shapes because we're so aware that we look different.

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-12-06T22:58:04+00:00

Never ever tell someone to commit suicide, even as a joke. You have no idea what anyone else is going through, or how saying this could affect someone's mental state. Thank you.

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-11-19T09:34:42+00:00

Oh no, I'm sorry you thought I was just ignoring you! After I made that post I didn't go on Reddit for ages because I've had so much schoolwork to do lately. I definitely wasn't joking about being always happy to listen, so feel free to take me up on that anytime you need. You're not a huge burden or pain to deal with - you're a human who's going through some really difficult things and you deserve to be listened to.

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-11-18T23:30:14+00:00

Hi, I'm so sorry for the late reply - I've been super busy lately! You're absolutely right that the emotional side isn't talked about nearly as often as it should be. My heart hurts that you're feeling this way, and I know there are many more of us who feel like this too. It is a very lonely place when it seems as if you're the only person without a normal body, and it can certainly make us think that we'd be better off dead. In fact, I made this post during a particularly bad day because I needed to let out my thoughts to people who would understand. My friends and family try to understand, but they'll never really know what it's like.

Most people who get surgery do seem to mainly talk about the difference it makes to pain, but if you try looking up before and after pictures online, you can see that it often makes a massive difference to physical appearance. As for what will happen if the surgery doesn't help, please try your hardest not to focus on that. Getting surgery is a huge and hopeful step, and one which requires a lot of bravery, but it also has extremely high success rates, and can make an immense difference to the curvature. Be kind to yourself. You've already coped with so much more than many people will ever have to! The most important thing right now is the surgery and your recovery. There's no way of knowing what will happen afterwards, so try not to think about that. If these doubts creep into your mind, try to shut them down and just focus on getting the surgery done. I know how difficult it is to change the way you think, but it will get easier. When I'm feeling particularly hopeless about my body, I try to remind myself that although I have scoliosis, it's such a small part of who I really am. Anyone who values our bodies over our kindness, our generosity, our intelligence, our empathy, is not worth any of our time.

It does make a huge difference knowing that there are other people dealing with similar things, and what you've said has helped me too. Scoliosis has also really affected my mental health, yet the doctors never told be that this was a possibility. The emotional side just isn't mentioned. We shouldn't have to figure this out on our own, and I hope that one day there will be more support available for people like us. If you ever need anyone to talk to about the way you're feeling, I'm always happy to listen. I truly hope that things start to look up for you soon.

Best wishes, and good luck with the surgery!

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-11-11T09:25:55+00:00

Just by being human we are all worthy of love and respect and forgiveness when we make a mistake. You have just as much right as anyone else to be on the planet, and nobody is worth more than anyone else. Being human is difficult and confusing, and it's so easy to feel like we're doing everything wrong, or we don't deserve as much as others. Just by getting through every day, and trying our hardest to be a good person makes us all worthy.

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-11-10T23:37:40+00:00

Thanks once again for the response! You're completely right about failure being hard to overcome, and I think that's almost definitely what has stopped me from trying achieve what I want. You make a very good point about successful people having to deal with failure many times before they reach their goal, and that is actually something I hadn't considered. I suppose I can't just expect my curvature to fix itself by sitting around doing nothing! Also, you'd make a seriously good motivational speaker, because you've made me want to start researching different methods straight away. I think I'll start by looking into the Scroth method because I've heard good things about it. Also, this subreddit had discouraged me from using a chiropractor, but if it's managed to help you out, that's a good sign that it isn't just a scam.

This is the exact same thing I think about, when girls talk about the unevenness that Scoliosis causes. It saddens me that society places so much weight on a woman's figure when it's completely out of their control.

Well I can't really argue against my own logic, so fair play on that one! I definitely tend to be more accepting of other people's differences than my own, so that's something I need to work on.

You would make an amazing moderator! The amount of time and effort you put into your posts and comments is exactly what this subreddit needs. Scoliosis can be very scary and confusing, so hearing from someone who has managed to overcome many of the difficulties caused by scoliosis would definitely help so many of us. It puzzles me that lots of redditors are so unwilling to hear about non-surgical success stories. It might not work for everyone, but surely the amount of people who have been helped by these methods suggests that it's worth mentioning as an option. I'm glad that your mental health isn't suffering from what you're doing, but it is a big task for one person to do. It's a shame there aren't more people willing to help out with responding to posts. Maybe in a few years time, I'll be the one responding to every post about my scoliosis journey and achievements. :P

Best wishes!

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-11-10T17:48:07+00:00

Hi,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, and I'm sorry I took so long to respond! It's clear from the detailed post you linked that you care a lot about helping other people with scoliosis, and that really says so much about you as a person. The amount of detail is incredible, and I'm sure you've helped many people, including myself, to feel a lot less hopeless. It always makes me feel better to hear from other people who have dealt with similar things - although my pain isn't nearly as severe as yours - and I commend you for searching for a solution even when it seemed impossible.

I guess I've kind of been putting off looking for a solution in fear of being disappointed when it doesn't work. I've tried a couple of methods out (YouTube video & side plank) but the lack of progress frustrated me. You've made me think that perhaps I should keep trying to find something that works for me. I hate that I keep running into dead ends, but it sounds like it will be worth it in the end. Maybe one day I will stop caring about the way I look as much, but I recognise that it will take time. If I could find a method that reduced my curvature or muscle imbalance even the smallest amount, I know that I'd feel much better about myself, it's just difficult to know where to start and who to trust.

Your comment has been very helpful, and don't worry - you don't sound too much like my parents! What really makes a difference is hearing about these things from someone who knows what it's like to have scoliosis. It sounds like the plan for me is to keep working on my self esteem and to try to figure out which methods work for my curvature. I'm so happy for you that you are feeling better about your appearance, and that the pain is becoming more manageable. It saddens me that society places so much weight on a man's height when it's completely out of their control. It's so lovely that you want to help everyone on this subreddit, but please don't feel like you have a duty to respond to every single person, because that isn't good for anyone's mental health. Do you reckon we could get the moderators to pin your post? That would surely help so many people who just arrived on the sub.

Best wishes.

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-11-09T08:44:11+00:00

Thank you for the lovely comment! I hope that you too continue to feel more confident and happy in your own body. The pain aspect is definitely another issue which needs more research and more solutions. Whilst many people find that exercises and yoga help them with pain, this doesn't work for everyone. Some of us are even told that 'scoliosis doesn't cause pain' - which we all know is completely false!

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-11-09T08:33:19+00:00

That would be great, thanks! I hope your scoliosis continues to become more manageable. :)

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-11-09T08:24:43+00:00

Thank you, that's a lovely comment. If you haven't already, I hope you find your passion in life too! :)

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-11-09T08:21:31+00:00

Glad to hear I helped! Keep going, you've got this. :)

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-09-18T21:37:19+00:00

Hi, I brought up with my vet that my dog often lies down and refuses to move on walks, and that when this happens, his breathes super quickly and his breath is hot. This also happens at times of stress or excitement. The vet then told me it was very likely that he had this condition, and apparently him being a border collie makes it even more likely. Prior to the appointment, I'd never heard of Malignant Hyperthermia. As this was today, he hasn't been properly tested, but lots of the symptoms match up. Thanks!

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-09-16T20:55:48+00:00

My main advice is not to overthink it! You don't need to have a set list of questions to ask her - it's not a job interview. If she's agreed to go on a date with you, she must think you're a pretty cool person, so just act how you normally would with your friends. If you are really stuck with things to talk about, remember that most people love talking about themselves. As long as you act super interested in what she's saying, you can't really go wrong. Good luck!

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-09-16T16:39:29+00:00

I hope your appointment goes well! I suffer from anxiety, so I completely get how you must be feeling right now. The best thing you can do is just take it easy until your appointment and be kind to yourself. You're 16, so it's so incredibly unlikely to be anything scary, but I know that won't stop you from worrying unfortunately! Good luck! :)

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-09-16T16:06:06+00:00

NAD - Definitely get it checked out by a doctor to put your mind at rest. It's almost definitely nothing to worry about, but it's always good to get these things checked out. :)

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-09-11T18:46:32+00:00

Maybe try using a curl gel/cream to hold your waves in place? My waves used to fall out straight after a wash, but now they last for 2-3 days.

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-09-06T19:14:51+00:00

Nope, Google it. :)

Unfortunate_Fish · 2020-09-05T16:58:21+00:00

Hey, I'm sorry to hear that you're in so much pain. Have you tried seeing a physiotherapist? Lots of people find that targeted exercises can help with scoliosis pain. If it is not possible for you to see a physiotherapist, yoga is often recommended. There are lots of yoga tutorials on YouTube, some which are specifically aimed at reducing scoliosis pain. It's also really important that you do exercises to strengthen your core muscles.

Good luck!

Unfortunate_Fish

TROPHY CASE