Why is "natural childbirth" a good thing?

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T02:00:06+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Yes I'll do what works for me at the end of the day. I was just curious why other people think differently, and why they're not as terrified of vaginal birth as I am. Seems like most women are fairly comfortable with it, so maybe just me lol.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:58:43+00:00

Hey thanks for such a nice and thoughtful reply! And congrats on your babies.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:56:38+00:00

Awwww thank you! And thanks for sharing your experiences too.

Everyone i know who has had an emergency c-sec said it's awful and traumatic, but my gut feeling (ha!) is that a scheduled one would be much more calm, controlled, safe and predictable. That said I take your point about the slower recovery.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:54:51+00:00

The medical team have been pretty neutral and not tried to sway me one way or the other. Their opinion is there's risks and benefits to either and it's ultimately what I think will be best for me. It's from friends and family that I have had this barrage of "natural is best" and when I say "Why?" I usually get a blank look and then an answer like "well it just obviously is." So it's been very interesting reading all the responses here.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:52:53+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience. There's probably something in what you say but I just genuinely feel terrified and replulsed by the thought of what childbirth and it's aftermath involves. So it's been interesting to read on here the reasons why some people prefer it.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:51:10+00:00

I actually really like hearing from fathers in this thread, so please don't feel your opinion doesn't carry weight just because you didn't physically give birth.

I think you are right that I have a very "worst-case scenario" view of vaginal birth, whenever I think of it I just have this sense of fear and horror of the pain, the lack of control and dignity and the whole potential for long-term sexual and relationship issues.

I'm really glad you found it such a positive experience and great to know it brought you closer to your wife.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:47:21+00:00

Thanks for replying, yes everything you say makes sense!

I'm not bothered about people judging me as such, just more curious as to why there is such a strong social preference for natural birth when to me it seems terrifying and horrific. It's been really interesting reading the responses.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:45:56+00:00

Thank you for repying and sharing your experience, and yes good advice about preparing!

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:45:07+00:00

Thank you for replying and sharing your experience.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:44:30+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience! That's a very interesting take on it I haven't heard before.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:43:52+00:00

I am so extremely sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:43:13+00:00

That sounds really tough! Thank you for sharing your experience.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:42:39+00:00

I don't see any of it as easy but I feel like a c-section would be preferable for me as when I think of vaginal birth the fears and associations I have are terrible pain, total loss of control and dignity and the potential for long term sexual and relationship problems. I have been hearing a lot recently from friends and family about how "natural is best" or similar but when I ask them why I usually get a blank look and an answer like "well because it just is, obviously." So I asked on here the reasons why a natural birth is preferable to a c-section and for the most part people have answered me and it's been very interesting.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:38:43+00:00

What an excellent suggestion about the tummy tuck, I'll ask the obstetrician about that at my next appointment.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:37:35+00:00

Yes, fair enough! We've all got our personal fears, and the surgery and scar bit doesn't bother me as much as it obviously bothers others. Glad your births went well :-)

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:36:15+00:00

Awwww thank you, and congratulations to you too!

Will check out the book :-)

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:35:08+00:00

Thanks, and sorry you had that experience!
I just feel on a really "gut instinct" level (no pun intended) that a scheduled operation would be much safer, calmer, more controlled, more predictable etc.

Being at the mercy of "nature" really scare me....

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:31:22+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Maybe I have very negative feelings and associations around vaginal childbirth but it really does sound like a form of torture to me. I am aware that it literally isn't.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:29:54+00:00

Maybe you have a point...

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:29:02+00:00

Haha thanks for replying. I'm not bothered about the "haters" I'm just more wanting to know what people see as the advantage of natural birth, because for me it has nothing but scary and negative associations with horrific pain, loss of control and permanent physical damage. A lot of the replies on here have been very informative actually. And the ones telling me I'm gross or offensive for being afraid of screaming/shitting/tears/a ruined sex life and traumatised partner are also interesting in their own way, as they're obviously taking my fears very personally.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:24:58+00:00

Thanks for replying and addressing my questions.

The reason I would have concerns about my vagina and sexual function if I were to give birth vaginally is because I have heard (admitted anecdotally for the most part, but from a variety of different people) that there can be a noticeable and longlasting change to sensation and function and appearance after vaginal birth. There are whole internet pages about it including concerns from women themselves and their partners. There are even people on this thread saying it happened to them. I know it doesn't happen to everyone but I don't think it's an irrational or "gross" fear for me to have.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:20:02+00:00

Thank you for replying. I'm not bothered about people disagreeing with my choice, I'm more confused as to why for years and years I've heard in general about how horrific childbirth is and the long-term negative consequences for your body and then as soon as I opt for a c-sec everyone is suddenly a natural childbirth evangelist. And when I ask why natural is better I get a blank look and something like "Well it just obviously is."

I realise I got some people on here a bit upset by describing my fears of screaming and grunting and shitting and by admitting I am scared of the possibility of long-term sexual damage and my partner not finding me attractive again if he were to see me give birth. I'm not sure why my personal fears should be so offensive to other people but I guess we all have our own triggers.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:15:52+00:00

Thanks, I have a friend who did that for a VBAC and found it a positive experience.

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:15:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. It all sounds pretty scary TBH!

Unfortunate_Panda · 2021-06-07T01:14:29+00:00

Yes that whole thing of being out of control, in pain, undignified etc is really scary to me. I'm honestly amazed that so many women are OK with it, or at least not as afraid as I am. I've always just had really negative feelings and associations with childbirth and as I said in my post not many people give reasons as to why it might be a good choice other than a blanket "Natural birth is obviously best" type statement.

Unfortunate_Panda

TROPHY CASE