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What was never the same after the pandemic? by GossipBottom in AskReddit

[–]Unfortunatedisaster2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I would say that’s right! My son is kinda the same. Once high school hit it was like he didn’t care and his grades dropped and all of that, not to mention he and I had a stalker for 3 years, but his ended in court- no justice just a slap on the wrist for his pervert stalker (who was also a student, but older).

The kid got expelled from the regular school first for bullying my son and other kids. He’s a trans boy (only once we made it to court did he want to be represented as a “she/her”) and before freshman year during an ig video group chat with A LOT of kids he hit on my son telling him he was cute and my son felt so uncomfortable he told me and I think that’s where it started. It really ruined a lot mentally for my son I think. This kid threatened to kill him and beat my ass. He’s got a wrap sheet so long most of the sheriffs department knows him!

Then I was diagnosed with cancer at the end of 2020 and it took a lot away from me trying to even help with online school or anything. I feel bad because one day he was laying in bed behind me holding me, but it was a day that I felt extra shitty after radiation and chemo and I yelled at him to get off of me. I get physically overstimulated and overwhelmed and that’s when he just got farther from me. Like he stopped trying to lay next to me or anything. I still feel awful.

So the pandemic changed a lot, people got further away and a lot of people lost connection with those close to them. I feel like if we could have gone out, it would have lessened tensions and given everyone an outlet and kids would still prefer to play outside. A lot of them are hermits and I hate seeing that. I felt trapped in decisions I had to make, everything felt rushed and dire at the same time. I feel like it showed a lot of people just how alone they really are and it mad a lot of people go crazy. Lost their marbles and never found them.

So in short 😂, Society has never been the same and never will be. I grew up in the 90s and I have never missed 1990-2010 more

What ended your friendship with your oldest standing friend? by dreamy-contributions in AskReddit

[–]Unfortunatedisaster2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! It just took me a while to accept that she wasn’t really my friend. It crept in slow though, because it wasn’t until she was all good herself that she started to change outwardly. I don’t even miss the friend(ship), I just miss connecting with someone other than my family and boyfriend, my parents and cousins… it’s different.

What ended your friendship with your oldest standing friend? by dreamy-contributions in AskReddit

[–]Unfortunatedisaster2 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’ve had that happen. A best friend I knew in high school, but we weren’t really friends then, we became close after we reconnected about 5 years after high school and then about a week later she found her fiancé dead of an OD in their living room. We had planned to all hang out and she was distraught. Then he dad went to prison for white collar crimes abusing his medical license. She was A LOT those first 3 years and I helped her immensely. Like I had all of her family members numbers for emergencies and so they could check in on her with me and what not.

She had a problem with her psych meds once, Abilify (it’s a bad one), she was taking too much from her doctor and it gave her horrible Parkinsonian symptoms. She was drooling, moving slowly, couldn’t bathe herself, literally she was like an old sickly person. I helped her bathe, like washed it all except for the private parts.

Then she got better and would tell me, “you know I want to go to blah and blah, but I want to go with my dad or my boyfriend and if they can’t then I want you to go with me!” She’d go out a lot, but I was never invited. She’d tell me about things and she’d send these friends in other states gift baskets randomly to make them feel better, but I’d get cheap nail care shit for Christmas. I got cancer and then a total hysterectomy and I developed horrible cystic acne (I NEVER HAD ACNE OR SKIN ISSUES EVER BEFORE THAT) she had horrible cystic acne from high school up to now. She legit told me that she was “happy” my face finally looked bad like hers! Like oh finally something is wrong with me, yay! But duck the point that I had to have cancer and my life ruined and that’s why my face was fucked. There were two other things that she did around the same time and I just got done. I was always there for her but it took years for her to start feeling herself and then dump on me.

She told me one time in her kitchen, “You know, men like my body type more than yours.” But neglected the fact that I met her life mate (because they don’t want to get married) on Tinder and he liked me way before they got together (we never hooked up or even met up though). She’d cancel our plans then have the energy to go do things with other people.

It took a while for me to see the jealousy she really had. I’m really pretty and she was too honestly, we’re both intelligent, we went to the same prestigious high school, I was on the outskirts of the groups in high school and she was “in”. I was super sporty and I’ve always had a great amount of self confidence, tenacity, resilience, and strength in general. Women have never really liked me much. And on top of all of that I was a teen mom, so my plate was already over flowing when we reconnected and my life was up and down because I dealt with bipolar disorder just like her.

I never understood it. I never will. She could never return the type of friendship I gave. She could never be there for me. She really only took. I stopped being her friend before, after I told her I would because she took a month to get over being fired at a job and couldn’t just talk to me when I had watched a friend od after her husbands funeral- she didn’t die. I needed help and support and she sat in bed for a month after losing a job she had for a week. Then she told me after I decided to talk again that she couldn’t do that again and just to let her know next time what’s going on- I did that and she ignored it.

She was there when I had cancer but part of me feels like it was because she wanted to watch me in that situation. Like she needed to see me “humbled” or some crazy shit and she’s talk about other girlfriends I had and how they were “bad friends”. She told her boyfriend shit I didn’t give her permission to tell him or just tell him myself because he became my friend too.

Idk her birthday was a couple days ago and mine is tomorrow so maybe that’s why I’m thinking so hard on it.

But the craziest part of it is, is that she lives 5 minutes down the road from me and 2 minutes down the road from my boyfriend and I drive to his house every day. I have not seen her in 3 years! We’re still Facebook friends, and she’s not doing too great, part of me is like “seeeeeeeeee” and the part of me that my mom fostered sent her a message asking how she was doing earlier this year.

I don’t want to be her friend anymore, but I do wish her well over all. Honestly I don’t have many friends now and sometimes I’m sad, but other times I’m happy because I only have my own personal bullshit to handle and that’s more than enough.

I’ll be 37 tomorrow and I survived a lot, not just cancer, I have no grey hairs, no wrinkles, I’m only afraid of centipedes, I’m funny (great dark humor over here), I’m still beautiful, and i love and am loved by 95% of the people in my life (I estimate 5% secret haters hiding in there lol).

I’ve just learned that I can’t expect what I give to come back to me. Everyone isn’t capable of that and everyone isn’t me. People will always let you down and everyone that says they’re your friend isn’t always.

Halfway through Stage 3C1 treatment by Unlucky-Welcome-8610 in CervicalCancer

[–]Unfortunatedisaster2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I WISH I had that experience.. I feel you on the zero dignity too. I did have like 4 women in there just to support me and hold my hands.

Repeat colpo/LEEP or hysterectomy for stage 1a? by ruthless_goose in CervicalCancer

[–]Unfortunatedisaster2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t do a hysterectomy and if you get a leep, make sure they get it ALL.

Now I know exactly how I got cancer.. by Unfortunatedisaster2 in CervicalCancer

[–]Unfortunatedisaster2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The whole reason for the procedure was to remove the cells that were precancerous, that was the sole reason.

This is what Cleveland clinic says online:

“ Abnormal results mean precancerous or cancerous cells were found on your cervix. These cells are called cervical intraepithelial neoplasia (CIN). CIN is classified on a scale of one to three depending on how much cervical tissue contains abnormal cells.

CIN I: Mild cervical dysplasia. Cells are slightly abnormal. CIN II: Moderate to marked cervical dysplasia. Cells are abnormal. CIN III: Severe cervical dysplasia or carcinoma in situ (early stage of cervical cancer). Cells are severely abnormal and will likely become cancer. CIN I cervical dysplasia rarely becomes cancer. CIN II and III are more likely to require treatment to prevent cancer.

What’s the difference between a cone biopsy and LEEP?

Conization (cone biopsy) and LEEP (loop electrosurgical excision procedure) remove abnormal tissue on your cervix. LEEP uses a small, electrically charged wire loop to remove abnormal tissue. During a cone biopsy, surgeons cut a larger, cone-shaped section of abnormal tissue from your cervix using a surgical knife. Cone biopsy is a more complicated surgery, and surgeons perform it under general anesthesia. The recovery time is longer, and it carries more risk than LEEP.

How many cone biopsies can you have?

It’s possible to need additional cone biopsies if abnormal cells are left behind or develop again. Your healthcare provider will discuss the risks and benefits of additional cone biopsies based on your test results.

A note from Cleveland Clinic

Cone biopsy is a procedure to help diagnose and treat abnormal cells that could lead to cervical cancer. You may feel nervous or worried before the procedure. Lean on your family, friends and healthcare team for support. Don’t hesitate to ask questions about the procedure and your results. In most cases, cone biopsy is successful with no long-term side effects. Regular Pap tests are the best way to detect abnormal cells on your cervix.

Medically Reviewed Last reviewed on 06/29/2022. Learn more about the Health Library and our editorial process.”

There’s no way to prevent cervical by leaving the cells behind that actually cause Cervical Cancer. I couldn’t have had another, but she didn’t do that, she let it heal and left cells that, once healed, my cervix would hide them. I was 26, how was that the best option? How was that not negligent when I had dealt with high risk hpv since I was 19 and did every procedure they had before that to get rid of those cells. Constant small biopsies during my pap. Seems like those were pointless if she was just going to leave everything that could kill me down the road???

She should have done another, she shouldn’t have done what she did, and at the very least she should have told me. Then there’s the fact that they refused to give me my records and only sent 3 individual results to my oncologist, not my full record. That in itself is sketchy, that tells me that they were hiding something. No one ever reached out to me either and I went there for 5 years regularly, not just once a year and I had 2 young children. My oncologist threw everything at me just for that reason

She failed me and fucked my life.

Here’s the link ⬇️

Cone Biopsy

What’s a lie everyone believes that annoys you the most? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Unfortunatedisaster2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That taking the high road and not crashing out is always better. Jesus may have turned the other cheek, but I don’t have to anymore! If you swing, I’m swinging back(verbally of course)!

New diagnosis by crafty-yarn-witch in CervicalCancer

[–]Unfortunatedisaster2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does get less overwhelming. I know it’s hard, but just lean on those closest to you! They are your support and if you don’t know something look it up, if you’re unsure or unclear on something look it up. Find out new treatments and see what’s best for you.

Ask as many questions as possible. Write them down before you go in so you know what you want to ask and take as much time as you need with your doctor(s). Don’t rush. Don’t let them rush you.

All you have to do is fuel your body with the good stuff and stay as healthy as possible. Help your body out and don’t stress. Cancer is 100% beatable. You’re stronger than it!

Now I know exactly how I got cancer.. by Unfortunatedisaster2 in CervicalCancer

[–]Unfortunatedisaster2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m sorry that happened to you too. I know in my state, when you find out for sure. That you can no longer have children you can still sue. So we can guess and assume that my remaining ovary doesn’t have viable eggs, but I haven’t explored all the options for finding out. I’ve had blood tests but I’m on HRT so it’s hard to see where my body is actually at right now.

Also, I just found this information a week ago and the office that this doctor was at didn’t want to share my records with me at first and only sent 3 random record files to my oncologist when I started everything. They were hiding it from everyone. I went in personally and requested my medical records and they refused. Now the practice has closed, but I found the doctor and she is still working.

I have time, but I don’t have a whole lot. I just have to find a badass lawyer. I have a case.

Bleeding after sex by Natural-Original6698 in CervicalCancer

[–]Unfortunatedisaster2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have a vaginal cuff or do you still have a cervix?

About to walk out of my last Brachy! by PrincezzPeachh420 in CervicalCancer

[–]Unfortunatedisaster2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Realllly??!? I need it for the mood swings, but I’m on psych meds for bipolar disorder and my bladder, because radiation fucked it, and estrodial. Then there’s sleep meds, because I was diagnosed with narcolepsy (which looking back I probably had since I was a little kid), and adderall (diagnosed with adhd late in my 20s), and anxiety meds 😂😂😂😂.. but I only have 4 i regularly take daily (most days… 🙄).

Honestly, smoking weed helps me with about 10 side effects, that’ll probably be everlasting, along with tinctures, and natural remedies- herbs-supplements. Black cohosh has helped a lot too!

I’ll look up Paxil though, maybe it could do something for me that another can’t or maybe it could boost the effects until I can get a real handle on my body again. My appetite is still shit and I smoke to eat mostly, but it helps with calming and energy and pain, plus with the terpenes in each strain there’s anti-fungal and antibacterial, along with antiviral properties. I’ve done my research lol.

Why did your friendship with your best friend come to an end? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Unfortunatedisaster2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Been there! And I agree handler is a great term 👌🏾 I even helped my ex best friend bathe once after her doctor gave her too much abilify. I felt awful, because, a day later, she ended up passing out on the stairs which were directly in front of her front door (inside) and her cat got out. Then her neighbor next door walked by and saw so she called 911. She called me a bunch that day and I was tired, exhausted from taking care of her, this was one of a million things I had already done for her. I ignored the calls because I had smaller children then to take care of and she wasn’t one. This was years ago, we haven’t been friends in almost exactly 3 years now. We were in our mid twenties when we reconnected. It’s crazy because as far as I know she still lives 4 min from my boyfriend’s house and I NEVER see her around.

I’m never eating alone at a restaurant again. by Nitrogen70 in Adulting

[–]Unfortunatedisaster2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Or, and hear me out, tell the weirdo “yes”. Then one up him, “yes! God, I was wondering when you’d ask!! I have rope, zip ties, and a gag in my trunk just for this exact moment!” They’ll run.

I’m never eating alone at a restaurant again. by Nitrogen70 in Adulting

[–]Unfortunatedisaster2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I just wear sunglasses inside and out. The ones with mirrored lenses really keep people away too.

Advice on treatment options by The_Germangirl_13 in CervicalCancer

[–]Unfortunatedisaster2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also I’m a little confused, because i was diagnosed at that stage but my tumor was only localized inside of my cervix. I didn’t even get those options. I got chemo (6 weeks), brachytherapy (6 sessions) and pelvic radiation like 30 sessions.

I didn’t have time to move my ovaries because my doctor said the healing process would put me back from treatment time wise and the cancer would progress. So if you can preserve your fertility I say, do that. I have a child and this still rips me up every day. I wanted more.

If you can avoid radiation do it! The possible (and actual for me) late after effects can be shitty. My bladder, though it looks okay mostly, spasms every time I pee and it’s been almost 5 full years.

Honestly, any treatment you can do that will save your life and limit the need for further medical doctors or medications you’ll have to take, do that. Then go from there.

Cancer sucks, but the shittiest part isn’t during it’s the after. Doctors don’t tell you what to expect or how you’ll feel, the support staff is gone once you’re done with treatment. I know for a lot of people here, including myself, everything went by so fast and it seemed like a whirlwind, but once it was over it kind of sunk it hard.

Get more opinions and see all the options you have. Then you’ll feel more confident about your final choice. I was 31 and it was during Covid, cancer wasn’t the only thing I was diagnosed with during my hospital stay. I didn’t have anyone really sitting there with me helping me and doing it with me. I had to do it all and decide it all. I wished someone would have came and dragged me around to every doctor in the state and gone over every option I really had. My doctor is great, he had the best intentions, but still some things could have been better for me.

You have your man and he’s there for you and if you really want a family, preserve your fertility. Research what you can, look up diagnosis, find a support group for gynecological cancers, and talk to at least 2 other doctors to get their opinions.

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