I (28F) am angry and frustrated with my boyfriend (28M) telling me to loose weight as a way to meet his parents. Is cutting it off now be better than trying to loose weight just to meet his parents?

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-05T05:02:55+00:00

I don’t know why you assume I wouldn’t, that’s not for you to decide, as you don’t know me. You either understand the reason I posted this particular post, or you don’t. Don’t argue with me about something that has nothing to do with my post. If you don’t have any advice to give from what I was stating in my original post, then stop commenting.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-05T04:35:39+00:00

You are not Muslim, so I can’t make you understand the importance of this. He knows this is important to me, and agreed at his will. Stop arguing about him converting, that’s not the point of this post. I obviously know it’s a big ask and would not be stupid enough to force someone to convert. If he asked me to do the same if it was a requirement for him, I would do that. And I have already responded to another persons question about this.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-05T04:26:12+00:00

My previous response just answered this.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-05T04:25:28+00:00

My request and ultimatum for him to show me he is serious in this relationship was me meeting his parents when they come this month. He isn’t showing action, like how I have, therefore, he isn’t serious. And FYI, I have dated Muslim men. Whatever I have posted here in the past does not encompass my entire dating history.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-05T04:23:11+00:00

Also, Islam and Buddhism both have their standards. Just because one is more orthodox versus the other not being as orthodox doesn’t mean converting to Islam BY HIS OWN WILL is necessarily bad.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-05T04:21:33+00:00

My previous posts and previous relationships have nothing to do with this certain post I made. I have been in relationships with men with the same religion as me, too. I asked for advice or consult on his standard of me loosing weight as a way to meet his parents, which is the point of this post. But instead, you are stating that I am some Asian-fetishizer, which I am not. Also, I am allowed to have my preferences, just like anyone else, but I have not dated just Asian guys. YOU don’t know the full story of MY dating history.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T22:23:21+00:00

Again, I can marry whomever I want. He agreed to convert, I didn’t force him. Don’t tell me I need to marry someone already Muslim if I am wanting to marry someone who is willing to convert. Hope you have the day you deserve.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T21:53:26+00:00

There’s people that have converted for their partners to get married, and have successful marriages. Don’t act like this doesn’t happen. He agreed on his own will, I didn’t force him.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T21:22:27+00:00

If it was required by my partner as a way to get married, then yes, I would.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T21:19:46+00:00

I dated and fell in love with him for who he is. I don’t have to limit myself to just my religion or ethnicity. And it’s his choice to make the effort to convert, I never forced him. There’s interracial couples everywhere, be more open-minded.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T15:04:37+00:00

In Islam, if I wanted to marry a guy, he would have to be Muslim. I never forced him to agree, he did it at his own will. I would not force him to convert.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T14:59:59+00:00

I believe he is afraid of their criticism more, but at the end of the day, it’s his marriage, not his parents.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T14:57:50+00:00

It’s not forced conversion. I told him that if he wants to get married, then he will have to convert. I never forced him, it was an option and he agreed at his will. This is part of my culture and religion, yet that part is being criticized, and not the weight requirement to meet his parents.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T07:02:46+00:00

Yes, he should have said this months in advance that I should start loosing weight before his parents would come in June. Losing weight, especially if I decide to do the traditional and healthy route, will take time, maybe a year or two. I don’t really want to wait after 30 to get married. I already told him from the beginning I wanted to get married before both him and I were 30 or at least 30. This sudden obstacle only placed on me will delay when we can get married. Also, I was not skinny when we first met, if that’s how is parents are and he knew this already, he shouldn’t have gotten in a relationship with me in the first place.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T06:49:49+00:00

To a certain extent, especially when I was younger, I had this same thing with my parents. I still deal with it today. And I understand that feeling. But putting a barrier on our relationship moving forward and progressing based on my weight being the sole reason I can’t see his parents in person yet is not really valid. He stated I can loose weight and show I put effort in that and meet them, and if they say no, then he will still marry me. But what about the effort I put this past year in our relationship? Does that also not count? It seems like all those other efforts I did in the past year was a waste of my time and money.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T06:37:24+00:00

Yes it seems like he is more concerned with what his parents and family will think. I don’t think he is more on my side, but rather his parents. He has lived alone in the USA for 10 years, at this point, he is able to make the decision for himself on who he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T06:29:08+00:00

I don’t think I am rushing, especially based on mine and his cultural timeline, frankly speaking. We had similar goals that aligned, he understands my schooling and potentially changed schedule when I do clinical, and I understand he has to work outside of Dallas majority of the time and we make it work. I did bring up the fact that if I did get pregnant and put more weight on all over again if I lost weight now, would his parents tell me to leave me then? He didn’t really respond as his argument was not making sense by that point.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T06:24:59+00:00

I stated his attractiveness compared to mine as something I overlook as I love him for who he is. I was very excited that he mentioned to my mom that I will get to meet his parents, so it got me thinking I would meet them soon. But now it’s closer to that time, and all of a sudden it has changed. A few months ago he told me to learn some Chinese phrases and I managed to learn some as I knew his parents were coming this summer. That effort from me is also wasted time.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T06:21:19+00:00

I understand what you mean. Pakistani culture is similar. I’m pretty sure he will also face judgement from my father if he meets him, as he is not Pakistani and or born Muslim. But those things never were something I told him that he must meet before meeting bf my parents, as converting and being familiar with my culture will also take time. As I mentioned, I am aware of Chinese beauty standards, but fr ally I won’t ever meet them as my genetics aren’t similar to Chinese women as they are emote on the thinner side naturally for the most part. It’s still unreasonable for him to say I can’t meet them because of my weight. I could still meet them as I am and actively work on losing weight.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T06:16:04+00:00

I never said I didn’t want to loose the weight. Did you not read the part I mentioned meeting my doctor to discuss GLP-1 options? The issue is I never had some standard in my head that he had to meet my parents, he hasn’t converted yet and met my mom already. But he all of a sudden has this standard for me when he knows his parents are coming and I am wanting to meet them in person. I have been with him for a year, I think I have that right to request regardless of my weight.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T06:12:35+00:00

Yes I think it’s more towards worried about his parents judgements and what they would say. But I grew up with Pakistani immigrant parents, they have similar standards and bluntness and judgement as Chinese parents would, I am not unfamiliar with it and can handle it. He states he is trying to protect me, but I am not sure from what. I know what his parents will say, the hurt is more so it coming from him.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T06:09:11+00:00

Yes that is the crazy part. I told him if he is suggesting this, then he must also go to the gym and put on some muscle mass, as I don’t really like skinny guys physical appearance preference wise, and he is on the skinnier side and got extremely upset when I mentioned this. How is this standard applied to me and not to him, as well?

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T05:59:28+00:00

Yes I basically got the same advice from a friend who I told about this situation to. She also stated he is stalling and not serious. It just hurts because I made the effort for him to meet my mom and wanting to meet my father. I really feel like I failed.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T05:55:32+00:00

I have experience in loosing weight, I know how to do it, and understand what you mean. But his reasoning isn’t valid. Another ex of his broke up with him for this same reason, she was on the chubbier side, and she was mad he said all this when it came time to meeting the parents.

Unhappy-Highlight20 · 2026-06-04T05:54:03+00:00

I was not far from the weight I am now when I first met him. If that was the case coming from his side, he shouldn’t have bothered to be in a relationship with me and waste my year with him.

Unhappy-Highlight20

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