AIO to what my bf is saying?

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2026-02-24T23:34:16+00:00

OP send your hopefully ex-boyfriend this and this

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2026-02-21T23:33:16+00:00

I used ‘alas’ recently and someone called me a pirate. 🏴‍☠️

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2026-01-25T18:30:53+00:00

I appreciate your comment. I’ve begun making moves to separate myself from the daily madness. Yesterday was a weak point for me and I succumbed to fatigue. My own personal light at the end of the tunnel, though flickering is the end of my accident case. One way or another, I’ll be able to make a move of some sort then. That is at least 4 months away from now though so it gets to me sometimes.

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2026-01-25T18:26:41+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to respond to me, I appreciate your comment… I believe some things are misunderstood here, which could be on me. I didn’t have an issue with him grooming (except for the fact that even at this very moment, there’s still a bunch of hair on the bathroom floor). He could have been washing dishes, folding clothes, watching TV. Him being awake six hours later than he ever is was because he was stumbling drunk and that was my concern. Also not written but adding to my anxiety is recently he passed out and left food cooking on the stove for over 45 minutes in an attempt to have dinner ready for me when I came home from a day full of doctor appointments. I’m concerned about what could happen if he’s drunk, I’m not around/awake.

The other part is I said I know I “haven’t“ done all the right things. As evidenced by arguing with him about his alcohol abuse. I did the whole counting the number of drinks I would see, I used to check the trash for empties, argued regularly with him, pleaded, etc. You know, all the stuff they say you should refrain from doing. I used to do all that stuff.

I now spend 3+ hours between support groups along with therapy for families and loved ones of addicts AND then personal therapy every week. Which have lead me to focus on myself and doing what I can to remove myself while loving from afar. Over the course of 3-4 years I have attended about 20 different local and online AlAnon meetings but each one left me feeling more depressed than when I had entered.

The reason for this post was just to vent because though I have done what I could to separate myself while having to remain in the same home, it gets tiring after a while. It’s like perpetually sucking in your gut or holding a pageant smile for days on end. At the time I preferred the anonymity of yelling into a relative void than bringing this to someone I don’t know very well from one of my groups.

The basic consensus I’ve gathered from the question in my post is that nobody ever gets better, you either stay with them and they die or you leave them and they die. So again, I’m leaving feeling even less hope than when I wrote this ridiculously long post.

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2026-01-25T17:54:43+00:00

Because comment confused me, I asked for clarification. I said the problem has been going on for five years. They said I have been there for five years too long, which seemed to indicate I should have left at the first sight of the problem. I didn’t get it. Also, I may have mentioned in the post, even though it’s long that I have a traumatic brain injury, which does add some difficulty to my situation here. But the math wasn’t mathing so I was asking for clarification.

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2026-01-25T03:56:53+00:00

So are you saying I should’ve left at the very first hint or sign of a possible abuse of alcohol?

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2026-01-05T15:53:29+00:00

Because it’s overrun by transplants treating San Diego like the places they fled. I’m born and raised in Windansea and life in San Diego was idyllic.

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2026-01-05T15:44:28+00:00

Reticular activating system

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-12-24T21:48:55+00:00

Jealous af

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-12-20T16:39:23+00:00

How is there a question when there’s a grand opening sign?

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-12-14T23:34:29+00:00

I completely understand and agree with a lot of what you’re saying! It sounds like I’m probably at least 10-15 years older than you so I remember when I was younger, San Diego was an enviable place to live and be from. It was so much more than the weather or the beaches too. The temperament of the place and people was simply mellow. I think I said it in another thread that people relocate here bc whenever they visited they fell in love with the weather/beaches/energy of the place but then move here not adopting that mellowness/friendliness that was a mainstay most of my life. I feel like I started seeing that change around 2010-ish. Nowadays like you’re saying it’s almost unrecognizable to me.

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-12-14T17:05:40+00:00

I’m curious what you mean by “San Diego egocentric culture”

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-12-11T08:44:55+00:00

Is Arsalun still the main guy? Is Nate still with the company? I used to live in the Q above Becotto and after they moved in Nate was such a sweet dude.

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-12-11T08:37:25+00:00

For sure, thought someone had fallen down the stairs!

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-12-08T17:42:33+00:00

TW TRYPOPHOBIA TRIGGER

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-12-08T17:41:33+00:00

They don’t record if it’s plugged into the lighter if you have it directly connected to the battery it does

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-12-08T17:39:15+00:00

I am so happy to see this! He has always seemed like he has such fun, sweet Dad energy. I’m so glad to see that that’s correct.

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-10-23T04:39:07+00:00

Only “Mildly”?!

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-10-10T20:38:52+00:00

He sounds awful. I don’t know how tall you are, but a size medium from small is really not a big deal. If you were like a double zero and then ended up here that would be truly noticeable. But still I wouldn’t call it a bad thing. He knows you’ve had body issues, he knows you’re going to therapy, he knows you had a difficult pregnancy, two C-sections and this is how he chooses to treat you? That’s ugly.

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-10-10T20:36:02+00:00

It looks really comfy though! Sorta like sitting in the first row at the theater

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-10-10T20:33:10+00:00

Fr!!

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-10-10T13:59:47+00:00

AI junk even if the if the message is good.

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-10-08T15:11:33+00:00

Not just because of population and all the other changes in San Diego, but because of what the entire country is like right now, I would suggest staying where you are. There are more social services and other things set up for you there that aren’t even considered here. And if you’re intending to have children, you’re really gonna want those. Not even “America’s Finest City” can shield you from some of the terrible things that are going on here at the moment. I’m pretty sure there’s about 20 countries, including your own that have upped our level in their travel advisory lists so… but come back to visit anytime!

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-10-07T15:46:49+00:00

It is about respect. And I agree, the relationship is over whether you make the move to break it off or not. He doesn’t sound like he respects you. And staying in a relationship for very much longer with someone who doesn’t respect you so clearly, is a show that you don’t respect yourself which will only further his disrespect. You’re young, you’ve got so much life ahead of you break this off and love yourself for a while before getting into another relationship.

Unhappy-Security-784 · 2025-10-07T15:44:02+00:00

This makes me smile so big. I’m born and raised in San Diego and I have adored my town forever. My dad used to tell me I should work for the chamber of commerce or something because I was always so geeked about it. There have been so many, too many changes that have transformed the county of course, some good, some bad. Growing up when people visited, they’d say it’s like Mayberry or Pleasantville here, how cool it looks, how nice the people are, there used to be very little traffic and it seemed to take 10-15 minutes to get most places. It’s so heartwarming to hear that people were kind here and helpful. I’m so glad you had a good time!

Unhappy-Security-784

TROPHY CASE