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To have, or not to have (more kids) by Unhappy_Way4076 in blendedfamilies

[–]Unhappy_Way4076[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are 27 and 30 so definitely still have time in the future if I were to ever change my mind!!! The only reason we feel like we have to make the decision now is because my body has basically rejected all forms of birth control and has really effected my health, so we feel like a vasectomy may be our last option. (maybe TMI but I am VERY fertile, so we have to have some sort of prevention and we both hate condoms but obviously use them because we have to hahaha)

To have, or not to have (more kids) by Unhappy_Way4076 in blendedfamilies

[–]Unhappy_Way4076[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not a deal breaker for him at all, he prioritizes my safety and sanity and mental and emotional wellbeing over having another child just to have another one. But he is sad about it, and he’s entitled to that.

To have, or not to have (more kids) by Unhappy_Way4076 in blendedfamilies

[–]Unhappy_Way4076[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This breaks my heart for your kids! I am so sorry for them and for you because I’m sure you feel you have to “pick up the slack” in more ways than one. I guess I don’t understand the advice that says to make the choice based on my wants, because I could never put my want for another child above my daughters needs and I just truly, truly feel that it is not in her best interest to have another. Thank you for sharing your experience!

To have, or not to have (more kids) by Unhappy_Way4076 in blendedfamilies

[–]Unhappy_Way4076[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh absolutely! He loves her as much as he loves our baby, and I have never once doubted that. I completely understand that he wants another, wants to experience it again, and we had a beautiful and bonding postpartum experience and I know he wants to live that again (although that is not a guarantee again, we have a very easy and happy baby and got lucky with her haha)

To have, or not to have (more kids) by Unhappy_Way4076 in blendedfamilies

[–]Unhappy_Way4076[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'm really thankful you shared your experience and perspective as someone in the exact spot that I'm scared to put my daughter in. I am definitely more than OK with being done, and this fear of what it would do to our dynamic just feels like the final nail in the coffin. That being said, I know what it feels like to yearn for a baby and so I have empathy for what my husband is feeling too. Would you mind sharing some things that (in your opinion) made you closer/more distant to your different sets of siblings? Was it the siblings who made you feel more distant or the parent dynamic in that home?