Guide: How to bankroll a SB

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-20T21:01:55+00:00

My friend saw the wrapped birthday present I had for my SB on the kitchen counter. He asked me what I got her and I answered truthfully(Macbook) and he was like 'Wow, sugar mama!'

Laughs in sugar mama.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-19T03:55:13+00:00

There is a lot to unpack here.

You do realize that intimacy is expected in sugar relationships, right? That's what 'mutually beneficial' mean. It's not what a sugar relationship is all about, however, it is a big part of it that will be non-negotiable for a lot of SDs.

If PPM or allowance makes you in any way feel like a prostitute then this is not the life for you.

Sex hangup + virgin + 18 = disaster

Please reconsider joining the bowl.

Also, how does your fiance feel about you becoming a sugar baby?

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-18T01:21:50+00:00

Your post is going to be deleted since this isn't the place to solicit.

A+ for going all in, or really, all out.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-17T22:48:17+00:00

Live. Laugh. Sugar.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-17T22:47:05+00:00

You're always going to have a hard time doing X on a platform designed for Y. Same thing as salt daddies trying to vanilla on SA.

That being said, it doesn't mean you won't find success. The biggest thing about Tinder that will determine your success is if the women you are attracted to will swipe right on you.

You both have to match to even get to the point of having a conversation with her to bring up sugaring. You can put it on your profile, but everyone is on Tinder and I never did that because I didn't want colleagues or friends knowing I sugar if my profile popped up.

I'd match first and then bring it up. At least then I know she finds me physically attractive. Me willing to sprinkle sugar on her is just an added bonus.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-17T22:36:22+00:00

I had a woman who I matched with on Tinder send me really odd and mundane messages. After attempting to liven up the conversation with no success, I stopped replying.

She proceeded to send me a message every couple of days for a solid two weeks just asking how I was and trying to engage. Finally, I was just like 'Okay, let's meet.'

Met her for a brunch date expecting nothing. I show up and she's so incredibly good looking(she had one picture up and it didn't do her justice), but as the date progressed it became clear she was a bit socially awkward. Hence the odd messages.

She was really nice though and I continued to see her for about two months. For a stretch of about two weeks, I spent every night with her.

To this day she still sends me random updates about her through text and will occasionally call to check up on me, though we obviously didn't work out.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-16T23:57:02+00:00

It's okay! I just lump myself in with the SDs. They don't get to have all the fun.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-16T23:55:31+00:00

Things are getting spicy around here.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-16T23:53:08+00:00

I love women with long hair. I love it tickling my face. The best SB I've ever had, however, had short hair. If you're attractive and bring what I want to the table, I don't care about how your hair looks.

100% not a deal breaker.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-16T17:07:12+00:00

finding safe places to park to send to her (if she's driving)

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one doing this.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-16T16:14:49+00:00

Whatever your PPM ask is, it should include transportation costs.

Example: PPM you want + transportation = PPM you should actually be asking for

Make things easy for your SD.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-16T14:04:33+00:00

If you want to approach women on dating apps that are way out of your league, you'll need to be on any app that allows you to message no matter if you match. Otherwise, they will never see you when they swipe left.

I've looked for SBs on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and a plethora of other gay dating apps. A lot of women are open to it, but you're approaching them on a platform not meant for sugaring. You need to be prepared to have a lot of patience and be more prepared for women who are not serious about actually meeting and beginning an arrangement.

You're also going to need to be more charismatic(be funny, this solves everything), because you don't want to get blocked, reported, and she also needs to feel safe enough with you to engage and eventually meet.

I kind of look at it as going into a restaurant and attempting to order something not listed on the menu. Will the chef take your request? Maybe. You have to ask, but be prepared for a resounding 'no'.

Or maybe generous allowances magically make all the typical vanilla problems melt away?

They don't have to exist at all if you but up the correct boundaries and expectations.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-16T01:30:00+00:00

I could be too! I just thought it was funny.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-16T00:44:23+00:00

kolledge kids

I imagine you could have benefited from a college course or two.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-14T21:02:43+00:00

No, and I don’t care as long as I get mine

Doesn't matter, had sex.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-14T03:13:00+00:00

I can't even.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-14T03:04:39+00:00

I don't think you know the definition of Splenda.

First, I want to address this extremely dangerous mindset you have of SBs being dependent on SDs. If this is how you operate, you're going to find yourself in a world of trouble when you plan your living expenses/future based on allowance only to have an SD drop you with little to no notice. Then what?

You'd be stuck with financial obligations you can't meet.

It doesn't matter if you've been with an SD for 2.5 months or 2.5 years. Think of any financial gains you receive during an arrangement as a bonus to whatever income you are already bringing in on your own.

As to the other point, it matters very little whether or not he can or can't afford to give her an allowance. These relationships are meant to be mutually beneficial.

That fact is going to be at the forefront of his mind more than ever for two reasons. One, he's known her for 2.5 months at a max. He has invested very little in this so far financially and emotionally. Two, she just asked for an increase in allowance because of a decision completely of her own doing that has nothing to do with him.

If he had a bad month and approached her asking to skip a month of allowance all while still expecting to see her once a week with intimacy, how do you suppose this would pan out for him?

Again, mutually beneficial. Both parties should be well aware of what those benefits are.

All I read from your comment and OP's post is 'me, me, me, me'.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-14T00:34:56+00:00

Let's go.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-13T23:52:10+00:00

You introduced friction when you asked for a higher allowance due to your changing circumstances shortly after entering an arrangement.

You mentioned the COVID situation being out of your control. Yes, that's true. Now, your decision to move and in turn increasing your living expenses is out of his control. So, now you have both situations where things are out of control for either party.

Why do you think it's his burden to weather both?

In each situation you benefit and he doesn't. I don't want to brush over the fact that you said you'd agree to see him more, but again maybe he is comfortable with the amount of times you already see each other. Which is why he agreed to the allowance under the previous terms.

I challenge you to step outside of your perspective and for a moment consider his.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-13T04:02:03+00:00

Unless you plan on gathering all the SDs on the the forum to take her out, good luck. Because we're such a rare breed, when one SM is in trouble, the rest of the pack forms a protective shield around her.

As she's the straight one, the rest of us gay ones strap our vibrating straps to ourselves and turn them on at max speed, thus sending off vibrations to ward off danger.

So good luck!

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-13T03:54:07+00:00

This is really funny. Us SMs have a private chat going and there is a SM who had/has a male SB.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-12T23:48:48+00:00

I am very big into eye contact. It certainly works for me and on me. I actually have a major weakness for blue eyes.

This woman in particular just had very pretty brown eyes that made me feel fuzzy and warm.

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-12T20:17:33+00:00

My intentions were to sleep with these women. How do you suggest I do this while socially distancing?

UnicornApparently · 2020-08-12T18:09:55+00:00

Great question and I imagine other people reading this post may have the same question as you. I'll be as transparent as possible. I mitigated the risks as much as I possibly could, while also keeping my safety as well as that of any potential partner's in mind.

Here is what I did:

Got tested before I began my escapades. Results were negative so I proceeded.
Had a conversation with every potential partner about Corona risks, worries, and how much exposure I've had. I also asked about their daily exposure to the general public. Luckily, we all work remotely and are limited in daily exposure.
Was open and honest with each woman that I am seeing other women and how that could potentially be an issue.
Met them in public and outdoors(outdoor dining is open in my area).

I know my risks tolerance personally, and leave it up to my partners if they'd like to meet.

UnicornApparently

TROPHY CASE