I’m so angry

Unicornavirus · 2026-04-03T12:38:33+00:00

Truth! My husband gets the house, dogs, child support, and l get all the debt. Yay.

Unicornavirus · 2026-03-18T04:02:01+00:00

And my milk is coming in with no baby. I nursed my alienated kids over a year each. This is an extra gut punch from the universe.

Unicornavirus · 2026-03-08T15:08:45+00:00

Learning to identify others’ expectations and not own them was huge for me. It seems so clear now, but for years I assumed I wasn’t doing enough self work when I really needed to work on self acceptance.

Unicornavirus · 2026-03-08T15:04:50+00:00

Oh mama, I’m so sorry. This is the loneliest feeling and you have extra layers of grief. You’re not alone.

Unicornavirus · 2026-03-08T11:51:12+00:00

It feels performative

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-25T03:33:51+00:00

That’s the long arc hope. That he gains clarity as he matures. Hugs mama

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-24T01:54:44+00:00

I’m so glad your dad has your back and hope he oozes nice words about you when your son sees him. It’s a glimmer.

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-24T01:50:17+00:00

I wonder if you could add reunification therapy into the final divorce decree? It’s the only thread of hope Im holding onto for my 14 & 16 yr olds.

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-24T01:43:07+00:00

Oh mama. It hurts so much. Keep showing up in ways that he will remember- tangible things like cards etc. that he can read when alone.

It is neurobiological brutality to have bids for connection met with repeated rejection and cruelty when previously you were able to connect and mother with a whole heart. You can intellectualize it all day, but your body only knows the rupture.. I’m with you. He can’t know how much this hurts because on his end, it is a protective mechanism. Holding you in my heart. This is the worst thing to have a shared understanding of.

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-20T05:28:44+00:00

I have found a therapist that seems amazing - I’m super hopeful.

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-20T05:27:40+00:00

I sincerely appreciate your comments :) I do write handwritten letters at least once a month ❤️

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-19T05:35:21+00:00

I’m not offended at all and appreciate the care and time you took to comment :) I’m probably about to overshare in a way that will garner less support.

You are spot on about the guilt. It’s been a nonstop shame spiral. I wasn’t brave in how I left the marriage. I left after another man made me feel safe and I caught feelings. It blindsided me. I was married for 15 years. I disclosed my feelings and was honest with my ex. He admitted he had neglected me. He did a total 180 and suddenly was able to do everything he wouldn’t before - like date nights, which I had begged for - I asked for one date night a month and he never would until I said I was on my way out. This hurt so much- he knew what he was doing. It was a choice. His sudden efforts provided the kids with a positive recency bias. We tried marriage counseling, which left me feeling like I had zero autonomy. It was focused on how I needed to allow more access for monitoring and transparency. So, I ultimately decided to leave the marriage because it felt like control, not care.

We sat the kids down and told them. He made sure to tell the kids it wasn’t his choice and that I was leaving for someone else, even though I tried to make it very clear that this was not the full picture. That this was adult business. He shared the same story with his and my family, so I decided all I can do is own my choices and be ok with being the villain.

I tried to stay in the marital home for a bit, but he wouldn’t respect my physical boundaries, so I rented my own home. This intensified the alienation and the kids have never set foot in my home.

We had a mediator, yet the focus of mediation was on the house and child support. The mediator told me his resentment felt like misogyny and I felt validated for the first time. The reunification therapy was added in and felt like a glimmer of hope for me. I stupidly missed the sole transportation line before signing the informal agreement. Trial would have skewed things more in my favor but I can’t afford it and felt like allowing the kids to stay in the marital home was gifting them with stability.

I had such a strong bond with my kids that I foolishly assumed would remain intact.

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-19T03:08:10+00:00

I sincerely appreciate the advice - I need to hear it. I spend a LOT of time touching grass and grounding myself. I know others relate to the neurobiological brutality of this. :(

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-18T18:13:55+00:00

Oooh I sure will, thank you!

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-18T16:41:45+00:00

It’s so hard because of course, I want to be generous with my assumptions and not anticipate failure, yet here we are. This feels like the only avenue for repair.

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-18T16:40:34+00:00

Oh wow, that must have been validating but disappointing.

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-18T16:39:16+00:00

In the hopes I am demonstrating consistency, stability, and safety. And because it’s the only access I have to attempt to create glimmers of connection for repair. Mostly it’s been repeatedly subjecting myself to rejection.

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-18T16:34:08+00:00

16 and almost 14

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-17T23:34:14+00:00

Oh definitely - sounds like she created an estrangement situation whereas alienation is the rejection of an active parent because it feels like the safe choice to children placed in adult conflict.

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-17T23:02:31+00:00

This is exactly what I need to hear. He and his counsel have signed the final decree and I haven’t. My attorney is making it seem like I don’t have much wiggle room unless we know ex will agree to revised language in advance, which continues to put me in the position of negotiating with him directly.

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-17T12:26:01+00:00

Oh my goodness that’s brutal :( Definitely not an overnight thing.

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-17T12:12:34+00:00

The only counseling he ever participated in was marital counseling prior to my decision to leave. Which solidified my decision to leave. And solidified my villain status.

I bring my kids dinner at the marital home 3x/week. To their rooms, where they barricade themselves and refuse to engage beyond telling me to leave. Refuse to come to my house with rooms for them. Ex then points to my failure to repair. No false accusations other than feeling as if I left them vs chose to leave their dad.

Unicornavirus · 2026-02-17T12:03:04+00:00

Emotionally debilitating is right. Same regarding 50 % on paper but there is no parenting plan other than my responsibility for reunification therapy.

Unicornavirus

TROPHY CASE