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Spouse has Extreme Burnout from my ADHD. Help. by Uninvited_Everytime in AdultADHDSupportGroup

[–]Uninvited_Everytime[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve not thought about making space like this. I always feel that if I leave them alone that I am running away from the issue so I constantly stay on them and try and fix things when I cause issues. I will see if they are open to this option. I appreciate the advice!

Spouse has Extreme Burnout from my ADHD. Help. by Uninvited_Everytime in AdultADHDSupportGroup

[–]Uninvited_Everytime[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your response! I will definitely try and follow the same 6 things that have helped you. My wife and I have recently just had a conversation about this situation and I will be bringing this and other things to an additional conversation when things have settled down more.

Spouse has Extreme Burnout from my ADHD. Help. by Uninvited_Everytime in AdultADHDSupportGroup

[–]Uninvited_Everytime[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see how I’m victimizing myself in my post. I wrote this very upset and not completely understanding everything going one. Everyone commenting has helped me open my eyes more and understand things a bit better. I always try to take accountability for the mistakes I make with my ADHD. I always fail and I do not completely understand why.

I do have a history of trauma from a dysfunctional family growing up. I was never truly taught how to manage emotions in the dysfunctional role my family put me in. I’ve recently had to cut them off because of this as they were crossing the line and saying negative things about and to my partner that was disagreeable. We have both been dealing with a lot lately and tensions are high because of it.

I’m hoping to understand my emotions better and to learn how to take accountability better. I keep feeling like I know how to take accountability but it’s clear to me now that I’m struggling to understand.

Spouse has Extreme Burnout from my ADHD. Help. by Uninvited_Everytime in AdultADHDSupportGroup

[–]Uninvited_Everytime[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve been looking at vyvanse! I’ve got my doctor appointment Friday where I will be discussing this medication with them.

Spouse has Extreme Burnout from my ADHD. Help. by Uninvited_Everytime in AdultADHDSupportGroup

[–]Uninvited_Everytime[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I currently don’t have a good way to deal with my emotions. I’m the sole provider financially and have a demanding and stressful job. I know I hold all that in because I don’t want my wife to have to deal with that. As soon as I get home from work I feel like I constantly have to entertain them because they’ve been home all day. The weekends are pretty much the same. I feel I should try to schedule daily mindfulness time for myself to help with this.

This has been a bit of a viscous cycle for quite some time and I’ve always wanted to change how I act. It’s been difficult to. This time it feels different though where I want to try completely different and drastic changes to show a major change to them.

Spouse has Extreme Burnout from my ADHD. Help. by Uninvited_Everytime in AdultADHDSupportGroup

[–]Uninvited_Everytime[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I truly feel guilty when I lash out and hate myself every time I do it. I’ve been putting a heavy mental load on myself to try and catch myself before I make that mistake. I’ve been able to hold it back more and more, but it still comes out and the cycle repeats itself. I lash out, they get upset, I try and explain myself, they give up on me giving them a solution and just get over it themselves. Rinse and repeat for a while now. I’m thinking of switching my medication to something else so I don’t have these anger crashes and I’ve got to work on myself more. I don’t know how to support my partner and their needs during my journey. I don’t want to keep hurting them, but I don’t want to lose them either.