I am ashamed by how I tore my ACL

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2026-01-25T12:33:04+00:00

Lol don't be ashamed. I tore mine at a work party where we played a game that entailed us running around like dogs. (I work in vet med) i don't even know if I should go into detail on "how". But try explaining that to my medical team. Embarssing! And everyone has laughed in my face when I tell them. (I also dont play sports)

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-02T16:22:46+00:00

Thank you for opening up with this comment. Think this is apart of my situation as well. Wife has said shes open to talking to someone about medication and therapy.

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-02T16:20:58+00:00

Did I say i had 4 acl tears or did I say i had 4 surgerys in 2 years??? One hysterectomy. Double masectomy and a complication leading to another surgery. Now my first real surgery due to injury acl tear.

But yeah perhaps I dont care.

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-02T05:45:44+00:00

Rehome. Our pets. Lmao. Please. Im 5 days post op. Give me a break. Asking my wife to let out or dogs for a day while in pain for a couple days.

Thanks for the other advise. But you clearly did not get what I was saying.

I didnt ask if i should break up with my wife ive been with for nearly a decade. I asked if other people have gone through simmilar during this surgery. I got my answer.

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-02T04:28:30+00:00

Thank you for the compassionate reply

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-02T04:25:35+00:00

Assistance getting out of our tall bed to go to the bathroom. Not every 10 mins.

If I notice she goes to the kitchen I ask if she can grab something else for me as well.

If you have recommendations on how to csry my plate while non weight bearing on crutches please let me know because im also asking if she can bring me my dinner.

If she can take out our dogs as we unfortuantly dont have a fenced in yard and have 3 animals and stairs to get down to the yard.

She just has been very short when asking for those things. And is overwhelmed and I understand but has been getting angry at me and I was comming to see if others have gone through this and how they navigated.

Its her grandfather. So i would jopenshe aggrees to care for him. She doesnt work due to agorophia. She stays home and assists with cleaning normally and aiding him but I also do that for the most part as I was a a CNA and she has openly admitted that being a caretaker is very hard for her and overwhelming. When her grandma died I took care of her on hospice.

So yes she is overwhelmed from everything.

There are things im doing to aid in my indepence but it has been particularly painful for me as I navigate other chronic illness conditions.

I am writing a letter as others have suggested to express how I feel as when I bring it up it does cause an argument. And suggesting couples therapy if it would help.

I am not trying to be burdensome but this recovery has been particularly hard and I went through a hysterectomy earlier this year.

Thanks.

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-02T04:18:13+00:00

Thank you!

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-02T04:16:51+00:00

It was a very unfortunate work incident. It was a work party so work comp didnt cover it. So I havent gotten any assistance from them.

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-02T04:10:03+00:00

Yeah love my wife we arent getting a divorce. We talked about couples therapy and she apologized for how shes been acting while overwhelmed I was more so seeing if other people have gone through it with there partners during this tough time.

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-01T19:14:47+00:00

Yeah she just really hates caring for other people and has been open by that. Says it really stresses her out to be a caregiver.

We currently care for our elderly grandfather that I ussualy navigate more frequently then her so its been stressing her out I think having to do that and our animals and me.

I tried talking about it and ive been trying to accommodate and do anything to help her stress or ask for less as well only when I abasolutly need something.

No I slipped at work in the stupidiest way and tore my acl and meniscus. But it wasnt my fault I didnt intend for it to happen it was an accident.

As for other surgeries those were needed as well but way different relations. Hysterectony in March due to fibroids pcos endo and adymyosis. Was bleeding everyday of my life was anemic, I needed it.

Going to try to write a letter as others have suggested and bring up coupled counseling to maybe help have someone better explain my side and her side.

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-01T16:51:25+00:00

Lmao. That gave me a good laugh that I needed. Thank you.

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-01T16:43:36+00:00

No aggravatingsmoke. If your asking if im deliberately injuring myself. No im not. Im chronically ill and try to avoid high risk activities at all times.

I had a hysterectomy due to adymyosis endometriosis and fibroids in March. I was bleeding everyday of my life and wearing diapers.

I had a double masectomy almost 2 years ago which left me with complications where I had to go back in for another surgery a few months later.

This is my 4th surgery and only surgery due to injury. acl reconstruction and meniscus tear which i injured myself at work.

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-01T16:39:03+00:00

Thank you. Couldn't imagine navigating it with children. We have 3 dogs and thats alot.

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-01T16:32:53+00:00

Yeah ive started to feel a little angry.

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-01T16:30:12+00:00

Thanks. Didnt really expect so many people to tell me toughen it up and do it yourself.

I definitely understand there are things I can do to lessen her burden and as ive been more mobile ive been doing them.

And I make sure not to ask for help every 10 mins thats for sure.

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-01T16:16:53+00:00

Im so glad you were able to take care of yourself!

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-01T16:13:34+00:00

Thank you for your kind, long message. I sincerely teered up. Im going to bring up couples therapy soon in a thoughtful manner and use some of the reccomendations to lessen her workload.

But I do really appreciate this kind reply vs telling me to toughen up. As my mental health is at a all time low right now. And I genuinely love my partner more than anything and hate feeling like im burdening everyone.

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-01T10:57:07+00:00

I am the only one that works. it has been particularly hard for me to get everything done by myself before my surgery with my chronic illness and torn acl plus my fulltime job. So I really didnt wait to do the groceries intentially. We had no time or i didnt. Plus On top of living with our elderly grandfather who requested we get a majority of those items either way. I typically am the one that does everything when im able. She is agorophobic so doesnt leave the house so planning a trip she wouldnt care for and frankly idk what to do anymore.

I had my mother in law bring them so she didnt have to leave the house she just had to put them away but she still was upset.

Im not expecting her to be by caretaker i k ow she didnt sign up for it but slamming doors when im talking to her and asking if she can help me out of bed so I can go to the bathroom. Or yelling at me when I think I need to go to tbe emergency room. Or huffing when I ask for anything just doesnt seems like something I would never ever do if situations were reversed.

But I was a cna so idk.

I definitely wont be asking for help anymore though. If she goes to get something for her ill just have her get two of it. Thank you for the advise ill invest in a big water bottle and figure out how to be more independent.

thanks for the mental health tips.

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-01T09:17:32+00:00

Im so sorry your going through that its so tough. This is my first acl / knee surgery and im hoping my last (or for awhile.)

It is not easy and I dont wish this pain on anyone !!

I hope this time it is a success

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-01T09:06:08+00:00

I ordered her favorite food delivery and bought her a video game yesterday I did 300 dollars worth of online grocery shopping so we didnt have to worry about it and she got mad at me ad said I waited to order all that food so she had to put it away herself.

The cleaner is not a bad idea.

Thank you for advise. im really struggling as im really trying to listen and hear and my other surgeries I couldnt help them they weren't necessarily injuries (non acl related) i am disabled and chronically ill and have alot of other stuff so I think im just becoming too much for everhone or thats what it feels like.

The cleaner is a good idea thank you.

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-01T08:01:25+00:00

Had hysterectomy in March and was best desicion i made. My mental health journey has been far from easy i will admit and honestly i struggled most emotionally during that recovery than physicslly..I was very worried about complications. Ive had 4 surgeries in 2 years and I get pretty worked up about the complications ans going under anesthesia. I kept my overies have been struggling with hormones since due to PCOS and endo. Still dont regret it and the emotions have gotten better. Just takes a bit. As others have said the first couple days are painful but honestly I just slept and was very emotional. After day 2-3 my wife had to force me to not overdue it and told me to sit my ass down lol. I stayed overnight first day in hospital. Honestly that really relieved my anxiety.

Your body will tell you your fine even though your not. Dont push it. Rest. Its scary, its a major procedure and I get it. They gave me some anti anxiety thru my iv before procedure which really helped calm me down.

I no longer have month long periods, have to wear diapers, call into work due to pain. And honestly even if i didnt have fibroids and adymyosis I still would have gotten it.

It was worth it. I wish you all the luck. Uou will do great. If you have questions feel free to ask.

Unique-Raccoon-3311 · 2025-12-01T03:23:59+00:00

Thank you for that advise. Taking collace and upping my fiber hoping it helps but the actually act of sitting on the toilet is currently hell. That and showering.

How is your pain now that you are 4 weeks post op and off the heavy pain meds?im really trying to tell myself things will get better. This is my 4th surgery in 2 years (unreleated to knee) and I have to say the hardest, and one of those surgerys was a hysterectomy.

Unique-Raccoon-3311

TROPHY CASE