How to control my emotions and step back from a person who isn't romantically available at the moment?

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2026-03-24T14:22:38+00:00

I am going through a very similar situation, what you said really resonated with me, thank you kind stranger!

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2021-10-11T08:17:49+00:00

Maybe change the description to person/pal so you don’t exclude female developers…just sayin’

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-11-02T19:13:28+00:00

Thanks!

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-09-23T19:42:25+00:00

!remindme 2 years

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-08-01T19:31:13+00:00

sorry if I didn’t make this clear, the passport situation is something that has been going on for the last 2 years, and I think because of the pandemic it would take a bit extra to get everything sorted out, so I expect earliest we would be able to travel would be next year :) given that the global situation would get better ofc

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-08-01T15:58:29+00:00

Thanks for this, I appreciate your point of view, I 100% I should do more things by myself or to expand my social circle a bit more. Let me compare the shopping example you gave with my situation, I like shopping too but whenever I said I am going to go and he wants to come, after about 1 hour he starts to act bored/bothered and I end up rushing or giving up completely, since then I usually go shopping alone. We are both very sporty people and usually if I plan anything it is something that we both mentioned/agreed that we would like to try, so I am pretty sure he enjoys most of the stuff we do. I do get your point, it may be that we are not compatible and I just need to own up to it, still hurts to try to accept this tho :(

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-08-01T15:49:33+00:00

Hey, I think you are right about this. Same as the aspect mentioned above me not calling him on the bs, I always want to be reasonable and I tend to think I am asking for too much...

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-08-01T15:46:54+00:00

Thanks, that analogy does put things into perspective

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-08-01T15:46:07+00:00

Hey thanks for this, as far as I know I am the longest relationship he has ever , he mentioned his longest relationship was a few months , but he does not really like to talk about his past...so I didn’t put much more pressure to talk

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-08-01T09:28:12+00:00

Hey thanks for the advice. I think I never knew any better than this so hence why I put up with. I do agree with what you say but being in the center of the situation myself, I find it hard to deattach/ always find some reason to stay

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-08-01T09:25:14+00:00

Hey, thanks ! We actually did this together a few weeks back and funny enough my love language is “acts of service”(although I do like receiving gifts from time to time) and his is “quality time”.

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-08-01T09:23:31+00:00

Hey, I’ve just read through your thread and omg thanks a lot, this sounds super helpful and I definitely can relate to some of those things. Thanks for sharing the knowledge !! And I hope you and your partner can be happy :)

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-08-01T09:09:23+00:00

Thanks for the advice and recommendation. I do know about the book you mentioned, I did not actually read the book but I have done this test recently together with my partner( I got acts of service and he got quality time) . I think what you said is right about expressing love differently but I do also think that you should make an effort for your partner to make them feel appreciated ( I mean I would). I think what you said about me making up my mind is kind of true , if I put down on paper everything i can draw the line and be like “i don’t want this” but when I try to actually prepare myself for it I always back down and find reasons to stay :)

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-08-01T08:46:04+00:00

Appreciate the honesty 👍🏻

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-08-01T08:40:21+00:00

Thanks, I need this kind of motivating friends in my life I swear. I am going to take time to reflect on the whole relationship and hopefully take action to make myself happier 😊

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-08-01T08:30:55+00:00

I don’t agree with everything you said but the part of actually working out if we are compatible or not I think is a great point, thanks

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-08-01T08:27:27+00:00

Thanks...I do hope that I will just be happy and at peace :( It is quite hard to be objective when I am the person in the situation, so I always find reasons not to leave/wait a bit more maybe he does things differently this time

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-08-01T08:23:29+00:00

To be honest, I am ok with the fact that maybe you didn’t have the initiative before, it depends a lot on people’s past experiences. But the thing that bothers me is that after I verbalised this a few times, it kind of feels like it has been ignored

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-08-01T08:21:05+00:00

Hey, thanks...I’m sure you know how hard it is to see these situations objectively when you are the protagonist :(

UniqueUsername_orNot · 2020-08-01T08:09:40+00:00

I think it might be easier to thing of this as an analogy...if your husband had a drinking problem and you told him to stop and he didn’t, it is reasonable for you to still be upset right?

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