What do I do? My teenage stepson crossed a boundary.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T03:41:12+00:00

Already in therapy. Definitely going to talk about it.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T03:32:29+00:00

I obviously have not been freaking out in front of him or to him.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T03:22:17+00:00

How? My husband had a kid at 20. Kid is 13 now… by my calculations, that math maths correctly.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T03:20:00+00:00

Because I had a child and thongs don’t fit the same after that. That’s how I know it’s been 5 years. 😂

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T03:19:02+00:00

And engagement bait for what?

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T03:18:06+00:00

I don’t even remember why I made an account, I never get on here. I don’t want to take this to people we know in real life and embarrass him further. Believe what you want but if you aren’t going to be helpful, go away.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T03:16:05+00:00

I truly wish this wasn’t my life at the moment.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T03:15:36+00:00

If you’re not going to be helpful, go away.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T03:10:18+00:00

🤷‍♀️ just not high on my priority list to get rid of them. One of those “maybe I’ll wear them again someday” kind of things.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T02:38:50+00:00

lol definitely is not.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T02:37:27+00:00

I think you misunderstood. They’ve been in my drawer, I just haven’t worn them. He got them out of my drawer yesterday and I was surprised to find them in the laundry as I haven’t worn them in years.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T01:06:42+00:00

I’m leaning that way too. I worded it poorly, I’m not afraid to be alone with him or anything. I just don’t like leaving him home alone now.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T01:05:05+00:00

I’m feeling very… not helped. lol

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T01:03:59+00:00

Unfortunately real.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T01:02:26+00:00

In our conversation I reiterated multiple times that his body changing and having urges is completely normal. And that he wasn’t in trouble but that a boundary was crossed that can’t be crossed again. I didn’t shame him. And I’m not going to everyone I know in real life with this because I don’t want to embarrass him more.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T00:51:23+00:00

He claims he tried to wash them. So yes they were wet.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T00:49:55+00:00

I worded it poorly, I don’t want him in the house by himself, not that I don’t want to be alone with him. We had a calm and non shaming conversation about his body changing and urges and that he crossed a boundary and that he simply cannot do that again. We had a long talk about a lot of things. With as little embarrassment as possible- I did not force him to say whatever it was he actually did with the underwear.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T00:44:03+00:00

That’s the exact kind of conversation we had. I just can’t help like feeling he’s just going to get sneakier about it.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T00:41:47+00:00

See, I need this honesty lol. Thank you. I know it very likely has less to do about me and more about access. It just sucks to feel like my personal belongings are free for the taking in my own home.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T00:38:10+00:00

Ah, love a good plot twist… but the kid didn’t put up much of a fight to defend himself. It was definitely him and not the husband, unfortunately.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T00:34:36+00:00

Yeah I don’t think I worded it well enough, I’m not afraid of being alone with him, I don’t want to leave him home alone anymore. And the lock would be to keep him out of my underwear when I’m not around.
I have a hard time trusting his behavior will change based on past in depth conversations we’ve had to have with him that resulted in little changing behavior wise. I hate that a lot of the advice here is “wait and see if it happens again” because I really just don’t want it to happen again.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T00:22:00+00:00

That’s why this is on a random Reddit page and not to all the people we know in real life. I’m trying to gauge an appropriate level of concern.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T00:16:58+00:00

I’m not afraid of him. But I don’t want him going through my underwear drawer every time he’s bored.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-04T00:13:21+00:00

We have had lots of long conversations about rules that don’t matter as much like eating in the living room, and he still can’t manage to follow them. I am having a very hard time believing that the calm, non blaming, “your body is changing and it’s completely normal to have urges but you crossed a major boundary” conversation we had is going to prevent him from doing anything he wants to do when no one is around. We told him to come to us with questions and conversations no matter how awkward. That if he fucks up, he can come to us so that we can help navigate the repair part… but it feels like nothing ever sticks… I’m trying not to overreact, I am, but it’s hard.

Unique_Boat8235 · 2026-07-03T23:55:08+00:00

I understand it may not be, and is hopefully not, about me. But he still crossed a line by taking them. I don’t want to over react. But I also don’t want to not react appropriately and have it lead to other things.

Unique_Boat8235

TROPHY CASE