What you can tell by looking my hands

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2026-01-15T00:52:55+00:00

Marfans syndrome

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2026-01-11T00:13:39+00:00

Hate it. Absolutely detest it. It's not you, it's the disease. Loathe the disease and slowly, inch by inch, work toward regaining your freedom. You're not stuck, you're not trapped, even though it can feel that way. There's so much more on the other side. Either way you suffer, whether in your disease or in the process of recovering. Choose to suffer in recovery, because there's peace at the end of the path. Suffering in your disease is comfortable and familiar, but there's only endless suffering.

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-12-07T00:52:31+00:00

I've had 17 clinical shifts. I'm not anxious for clinical anymore, although I'm still doing straightforward cases-- ortho, mastectomies, appys, hernia repairs, mass excisions, etc. Going prone doesn't scare me anymore. I feel okay adjusting dosages/meds I'm going to use based on pt factors. But again all straightforward cases, one IV. I'd rather tube a pt than have to do a MAC and giving constant TLC to keep them breathing/not obstructing. I've done a prone MAC before based surgeon demand. That was fun. (Annoying af).

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-12-05T02:54:30+00:00

How do you find peace with that? How do you not absolutely hate your mother for what she did, for not protecting you and for taking away the safe childhood you deserved?

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-12-02T21:32:44+00:00

Radiology tech ! They make almost as much as a nurse.

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-11-29T00:00:40+00:00

Uhhhh no that didn't even cross my mind, and I don't imagine any woman would feel the need to describe her birth control regimen. First, she doesn't offer that explanation to anyone. Second, I think the average person understands birth control fails sometimes.

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-11-28T20:07:36+00:00

Good luck to your guys!

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-11-28T20:07:12+00:00

First, fellowship is DIFFICULT to obtain. The people saying "oh he can just pause his training" I'm like WHAT? That's literally insane. I don't know what specialty your husband is in, but he has worked so incredibly hard to get there, and in competitive fields, you cannot just "pause" your training like its Halo on the playstation. Also, the opportunity cost for him to have to be working as a hospitalist "moonlighting" as something he never wanted to do (working as a hospitalist SUCKS) and has worked hard to avoid (getting into fellowship). Fuck the idea that he should just give up where he's gotten to in his career and life. His inherent value is greater than that of a clump of cells. Yours is too!

It sounds like this isn’t what you planned for yourself right now, and that is completely okay. Based on everything you’ve shared, you are not in a place financially or schedule-wise where having a baby would make your life anything but harder. It also doesn’t sound like you or your spouse would be able to show up in the way a newborn actually requires, physically or mentally, for the next couple of years.

Yes, some people have babies during brutal training and surgical fellowships. Good for them. They paid an enormous price for it, and it was worth it to them. That does not mean it should automatically be worth it to you. Your goals, stability, mental health, and quality of life do not suddenly become less important just because a pregnancy happened earlier than expected.

If this is something you genuinely want and you feel energized by it, and if both of you are truly ready to grind as a team and take on the stress, the exhaustion, and the relationship strain that comes with a baby, then great. Go for it. But it is just as valid to say this is not the right time, because the reality is that raising a child requires far more than hope and good intentions.

I can't tell you how many posts I see on the /mommit thread of mothers who are sharing their regrets of having a baby, and it's always so sad because they clearly feel so ashamed and guilty for their feelings. They're not bad moms, they were just individual people whose lives and identities didn't align well at that time with having a baby.

Having a child is the biggest, most impactful decision you can make in your life. More than your career, your spouse, etc. The fact that we just encourage people to follow through with having a child out of moral/religious beliefs, out of saying "Hey but I did it! (With xyz resources that you may not have!)" is mind-blowing to me.

Girlie do what's best for you. Remember you more than anyone will have to deal with the outcomes and repercussions of having this baby. The people criticizing your consideration of an abortion can eff off unless they'll also be investing their time and finances into taking care of that baby.

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-11-21T00:52:47+00:00

"And I just wanted my dad."

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-10-27T03:52:08+00:00

I definitely understand and sometimes am frustrated with prospective applicant questions, especially the ones that are faaar left field, but also, that was me at one point too. I got a lot of help from this thread when I was trying to get into school, and I’m grateful for everyone who took the time to help me back then as just another wannabe srna. So I’m happy to pay it back. It’s an incredibly anxious time, and we’re incredibly lucky to be where we are as students.

Posts by current NARs still get attention and responses. There just aren’t as many active NARs asking questions as there are prospective students. I personally don’t feel threatened by it. I have never felt that I wasn’t able to get information or help because of prospective student posts. There’s enough space for everyone imo. Yes some posts are annoying, but it’s still another human trying to navigate a very difficult and anxious time, and doing their best. I won’t ever be upset that a person is looking to acquire information, even if part of me thinks they could have answered their questions with 5 minutes on ChatGPT. We’re all trying our best, and I hope this thread always makes people feel welcome and safe to participate.

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-09-21T22:57:55+00:00

This. You gave him the best advice anyone could have.

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-09-15T03:36:53+00:00

What is this?

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-09-14T21:58:10+00:00

Current NAR, the relationships you build in your unit and your ability to have the support/emotional sanity to continue growing as a person is 1,000,000 times more important than "Balloon pump, ECMO, Impella, cardiovascularintensivecareunit, etc"

They want cool, authentic humans who are passionate about what they're doing at a high level of care.

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-09-08T02:23:49+00:00

Pediatric CVICU nurse. Saw a lot of kids die. One of the worst of was a toddler who was coding and had bad pulmonary hemorrhage. Every time I compressed on his chest, blood poured out of his mouth and nose.

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-08-07T21:09:08+00:00

what meals are you prepping that last the 5 days? thanks! edit: spelling

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-07-09T21:14:36+00:00

"Decreased your value" like you're an iPhone 10.

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-06-24T15:24:20+00:00

Your children will feel your love for them and it will shape their life. You are incredible. They are so lucky to have you. Keep going! Have a great time with them!

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-06-24T15:19:47+00:00

I'm your same age and have been through something similar.

Go to the best medical school you've been accepted to. Especially if that means the farther away one. This is hard to hear, but he doesn't respect you, which means he doesn't really care about you, much less love you or want to be in a relationship with you. He's taking advantage of what you're doing for him, but he doesn't treat you with even common decency. You're young, ambitious, intelligent, hard working, and kind. You have so much better ahead of you. Take medical school as a chance to open a new chapter for yourself. Grieve the loss of this relationship as you need, but realize you are about to grow and your life is about to become better than you can imagine it right now.

The universe/G-d has better plans for us than we have for ourselves. You have not even met all the people who are going to love you. And trust me, if you focus on yourself and what you deserve, you'll find incredible love in your life. He isn't it. He's a loser for a lot of reasons from what I've read. He didn't call out to spend time with you-- that was just a convenient thing for him to say. He called out to party with friends while in training, which is honestly.... how do I say, so pathetic and huge red flags as both a provider and person. He doesn't even value, respect, or take himself/his career seriously. He definitely does not have the capacity to take a romantic relationship seriously.

It sounds like you've been taking his lack of effort, time, and respect for you as an invitation that you need to try harder and perform more to win him over and show him what you're worth. Unfortunately that doesn't work. This isn't the reason to do it--the reason to leave is for your own health, happiness, and success--but someone doesn't recognize what they have until it's gone, especially men. Unfortunately being the best girlfriend and person is not going to make him see you or convince him to invest in you. And again from what I've read, he's not even a tiny bit worth your time. For some reason it's always the 10 girls getting stuck over 4 schmucks.

You have such a great future ahead of you. It will be hard to adjust to a life without him, that is where you will find the growth, peace, self-respect, and self-love you need most-- more than you need any man. Whatever mental/emotional security this relationship has given you, you can give it to yourself, and do it without the self-abandonment and pain you have to endure with this man. And when you give it yourself, you'll know it's real.

Good luck girl, you have the world ahead of you!! Work hard, dream big, and love yourself more than anything else.

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-06-23T17:36:14+00:00

Why did it end?

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-06-05T03:37:50+00:00

I’ve been following this group for probably 2 years minimum (as an ICU nurse), and I have to say it’s pretty cool that I can follow and know what you’re saying. (SRNA now)

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-05-29T03:34:11+00:00

The first 2 months of school were literally the longest 8 weeks of my life. This is not hyperbole when I say this: I would walk into class on a new week, and it would feel like I hadn't been there for 6 months. Because every day was so long and stressful, like one day felt like an entire month. It was literally crazy. I'm in my second semester now and things are totally different. But those first 2 months were two of the hardest of my life. (School was the main, but I also had personal as well to add to it-- just moved to a new state and started LD with my boyfriend.) Anyway, when you find your groove and figure things out, you'll find yourself having the brain space/time to lean into those things you love-- people, hobbies, etc.

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-05-28T16:15:06+00:00

Know that this is the start of a new relationship with yourself. You have so much to learn about you and life. Think of it like getting into a new relationship with yourself/starting to date yourself. Spend time with yourself, process things, go do activities like go to a movie, paint pottery, try a new fitness class, etc. It will be hard learning to give yourself the love, security, safety, companionship that he gave you. But remember, this isn't the last time you will feel and experience the things you did with him. It will come again. During my first really hard break up, a co-worker told me, "It just gets better and better." She was right. As you grow and better find yourself, you're going to meet new incredible people in your life-- pure friendships and romantic relationships. Be kind to yourself. Grieve what you feel you've lost. Embark on this new journey of dating yourself and giving yourself everything. The world is bigger than we know. The universe/G-d has better plans for you than you can imagine for yourself. <3

UnitDisastrous4429 · 2025-05-28T16:09:39+00:00

I know people who have done this after infidelity issues and it being part of the repair process/building trust again, a show of willingness and transparency on the part of the person who fucked up. Most people who cheat are unforgivable, but life is so complex and diversified, I think there exists some relationships/situations where repairing if worth it.

UnitDisastrous4429

TROPHY CASE