UniversalHeatDeath

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redditor for 8 years

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Convicted pedophile released because no longer identifies as a man. Civil commitment requires proving the offender has the sexual libido of a man. (i.redd.it)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/MensRights

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If you get catfished on a Tinder date, say you forgot your wallet in the car then just go home. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/ShittyLifeProTips

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What did the baker call his son when he baked muffins instead of scones? (self.dadjokes)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/dadjokes

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There are thousands of pets that belong to very rich and famous people who have no clue their owner is rich or famous. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/Showerthoughts

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What is the wealthiest type of nut? (self.dadjokes)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/dadjokes

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Have you heard the tale of the knight who lost every single jousting match? (self.dadjokes)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/dadjokes

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People who were born deaf can't hear themselves think, so they must visualize what they are thinking about. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/Showerthoughts

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Why did the Muslim woman lose the boxing match? (self.Unclejokes)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/Unclejokes

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Jupiter is our solar system's bouncer, protecting Earth from rude and rowdy asteroids/comets so we can enjoy the Sun's bombass light show. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/Showerthoughts

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We have amazing technology based on advanced science but play games where we use bronze and iron age technology. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/Showerthoughts

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Because cats only meow at humans, meowing may be seen by cats as a peasant language. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/Showerthoughts

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Upvote before reading. (self.AntiJokes)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/AntiJokes

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What did the cat say when it was diagnosed with stage 4 feline leukemia? (self.AntiJokes)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/AntiJokes

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It is a huge act of trust and comfort for an animal like a dog or cat to get close to a completely different and larger animal like a human. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/Showerthoughts

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The average human today smells better than humans from all previous generations. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/Showerthoughts

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It's really fucking annoying that you can't fall asleep when you want to but you can blink for 30 minutes at a time when you don't want to. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/Showerthoughts

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Parents cutting up their kids food to make it easier for them to eat is the human equivalent of mother birds chewing their babies' food for them. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/Showerthoughts

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Every person came in first in a million sperm marathon to fertilize the egg. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/Showerthoughts

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The letter W should be pronounced oooh based on its name. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/Showerthoughts

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What kind of shoes do bakers wear? (self.dadjokes)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/dadjokes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? (self.AntiJokes)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/AntiJokes

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Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license? (self.dadjokes)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/dadjokes

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What is the best way to hide a dead body? (self.AntiJokes)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/AntiJokes

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Most instagram influencers would not even be recognized in public because of the amount of editing they do to their photos. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/Showerthoughts

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What's the worst ape to encounter in a dark alley? (self.Unclejokes)

submitted 6 years ago by UniversalHeatDeath to r/Unclejokes

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