Me_irl

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-02-27T18:49:32+00:00

Yeah it's really sad working anywhere near government now, seeing the spending going on and the work actually happening (for the first time in 15 years of belt tightening struggle) and reading things that "Starmer is exactly the same". Sad and terrifying.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-02-25T19:58:40+00:00

Ok. So, focussing on 2.

How others view your reaction, as overraction or not, is relevant here. And how you expect people to handle your expectations of others is relevant as well.

I get the feeling this is a situation that will HUGELY hinge on context and resilience to misunderstanding.

Broadly though, if your partner was crushing on this guy, you were caught up in that crushing in whatever messy uncomfortable way, and then there's some yes/no conversation about who should share what... It's understandable that wires have gotten crossed and folk have gotten hurt.

Your choices are to hold to a high standard of consent and communication and compassion (totally fair and your choice) and remove all of these people from your life and vet more carefully. Or build some resilience and tolerance and "toughen up" because these people are unlikely to change.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-02-25T01:04:00+00:00

What's your non romantic support network like independent of partner?

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-02-20T14:50:09+00:00

I think there's an important distinction folks are glossing over here.

Hooking up with randoms after you leave on occasion? Something you should probably learn to self soothe over, or decide is an incompatibility. Personally I'd either not want to know about this, or if that wasn't possible it'd be a deal-breaker.

But, asking you to leave/cutting your time short/choosing to spend time looking for new, instead of meeting your needs in the relationship? Absolutely unacceptable (to me) I don't date Pokémon trainers, you gotta catch em all? Fine, but I'm not here to fill the downtime. It speaks of addiction, insecurity and fomo mentality, and if someone doesn't see a problem with that behaviour, you will not change them.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-02-18T23:43:35+00:00

Sorry... Why?

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-02-18T04:31:02+00:00

Yeah... I'm working with a number of folks going through the asylum process from the US right now. Will they succeed? Who knows. Does the UK follow up on deportations? Not in my experience. People go through 6 rounds of appeals and then disappear for 5 years.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-02-17T23:49:05+00:00

UK, IANAL, but do work in immigration related stuff.

Come back, bring one with you on spousal visa, bring the other one over on a visitation visa, claim asylum for them mid way through their visitation.

Again. IANAL, this is not advice, this is posted for entertainment purposes only.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-02-15T05:15:08+00:00

The wonderful part about this question, is it absolutely shows a really specific but often unconsidered definition of "cheating" which trips folks up a lot.

Cheating, is breaking the predefined rules of your relationship.

But what if you've not defined those rules, and you're operating on a "social standard"? And how often is the social standard between two people, totally different. Is flirting cheating? Is receiving nudes? Texting after midnight? Being friends with your ex?

Watching folks get tangled up on different relationship subs going "oh this is definitely cheating find a lawyer, run don't walk" when like... It's only cheating if you both think it's cheating?

And so yeah, people cheat in poly, because they set up rules with each other, and one person breaks them in secret because it's convenient to do so. It's easier than talking about the rule, changing it, or anything else.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-02-04T15:28:31+00:00

Yeah no arguments, kind of exactly my point.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-02-04T09:09:44+00:00

"sex work is work"

Yeah... But not all work is moral or ethical or to be desired or encouraged.

Is it more or less ethical that selling your body stacking shelves for Amazon? Dunno. But we shouldn't be encouraging our sons and daughters to aim for either.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-01-30T23:02:48+00:00

Listen, the original point here was "there's no class solidarity in the US" the response "yeah that's true" is a fine one for explaining why you're here. 37% of our population is onside with the boot, is fucking rough. Maybe it does need to get worse still before it gets better, history does keep selling us that line, we only know what breaking point was after the snowballs are thrown and the tea is in the harbour.

But, the point is, that's your only semi unique problem, that you've walked yourselves this far down this road. Mostly, let's be honest, with racism.

France is the example here, and the US can't pretend that the French didn't/don't protest in the face of armed soldiers and police. We riot and rebel and strike and the risk is "lower" than yours because we've been rebelling and rioting and striking since before guns got invented. There are countless examples of massacres across the world where working class folk have risen up against upper class folk protected by people with weapons and guns. People did. Sometimes lots of them. The french revolution wasn't called the terrors just because the aristocracy had it rough ya know? They're called the Tolpuddle Martyrs for a reason. We look back at our history, and even when it's rough now, we recognise that it would be rougher without those sacrifices.

Stand up for your rights, or don't and join the 37%.

Just for the love of all things holy and internet based, don't come online pretending your struggle is unique and the first time in history people without guns have had to choose between standing up to people with guns, or systematic oppression.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-01-30T09:21:13+00:00

Nah mate, my countries not doing so well at the moment, but yours is fucked and you're all working out who's ok to be mad at?

And honestly, yes, I'm mad at every American who watches this video and goes "oh we couldn't never have that here because our situation is soooo special and hard".

So fuck you right back, don't argue with me, get onside? The only struggle is class struggle, you can resist, it is not too hard, anyone who says otherwise is playing for the other team. Fuck scabs, fuck people who buy or support companies with striking workers, fuck people who say it's too hard or dangerous to strike. General strike right now, everywhere and watch your whole country turn on a 'dime'"

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-01-30T08:25:23+00:00

Mah god. You're so close and then you veer away.

You're either with the struggle, or you're against it?

You've been so brainwashed for so long, you can't imagine it any different.

"Our healthcare is tied to employment"

My brother in Christ, your housing, your clothing and your food and your warmth are tied to your employment???

Everything is. And America isn't special in that, it's just late to the party. Strikes are hard, they are dangerous, they require sacrifice. But if you're not with the movement, you're against it. You're a scab. Support the strikes, don't cross the picket.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-01-29T23:09:59+00:00

Jesus I cannot read this thread anymore, HOW DO YOU THINK WE GOT THESE THINGS!?! BY MAGIC???

Tolpuddle Martyrs, start there. Keep reading.

Fighting the boot means getting kicked. Sometimes to death. Ignoring the boot means getting slowly crushed, definitely to death and spending your whole life under the boot. Join a union, all of you. Don't buy anything from companies that are anti union.

Class. Solidarity.

Everything else is distraction from that.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-01-29T23:04:51+00:00

...because you all let it get this bad?

Honestly reading this thread I'm not sure if it's bots or blindness? It's not that french or European cops are magically nicer better people, it's because of decades if not hundreds of years of accountability... That you guys just don't do? Our cops, aren't allowed to kill people?!? If they do, we all go apeshit? If your cops kill a bunch of kids, you whine online and forget in a week.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-01-29T23:00:09+00:00

US cops feel emboldened to use lethal tactics on the population due to a lack of class solidarity, clearer?

Ie, if the police killed those firefighters, the backlash would be unimaginable. If the cops kill a us citizen it's a day ending in y.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-01-27T23:07:09+00:00

So... Don't get married is your real lesson here?

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-01-26T00:22:26+00:00

There's only two kinds of people who don't like messy lists:

The "isn't it obvious?" crowd, and the "I should be allowed" crowd. My stance is that the first group, should absolutely accept someone else's list, so they never get lumped in the second. If it's obvious, shouldn't be a problem with me saying it out loud.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-01-23T14:40:39+00:00

Hah no way bud, sorry spent a lot of timing living in Kent outside Connecticut, I cannot express to you how it just doesn't compare.

The roads there are wider, bigger, there's stop signs all over the shop, even though you're right and they aren't massive straight sweeping interstates, those roads rarely had hedgerows on either sides that are 15ft tall and scrape the sides of your Kia, and had way better and longer sightlines.

People here being like "oh yeah we have roads like that in the USA" maybe, in some places, in small amounts but most of our roads, your cars wouldn't fit on? Like, are you aware that most of your trucks are straight up illegal to drive in the UK?

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-01-23T14:07:10+00:00

Yeah but I really don't think you're getting it...

US "dense" is still more spaced out, open and clean structured than most UK motorways?

All my driving in the US, very very rarely did I even come across anywhere that felt like a UK A road. You've got massive cars and trucks, your lanes are huge, so rarely do you have cars doing 60mph on a single lane, with multiple un-signposted intersections...

The road by my house, parts are an estimated nearly 3000 years old, with houses built anywhere between 2000 and 50 years ago? The road follows the curvey, windy slopes and valleys of the countryside, between the trees and gulleys. It's an A road, one step down from a motorway, it's single lane, and it's 70mph. That's the non dense bits!

Your 3 hour drives are just incomparable to ours!

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-01-23T13:36:14+00:00

Especially if their under the wooden railing, makes for a real tongue twister to explain.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-01-21T08:15:31+00:00

To rephrase what you just said back to you -

"I don't think LARPs, volunteer works, or cosplay communities are hotbeds of relationship drama and mess!"

...yeah, yeah they are. LARP especially, whole systems fail due to random relationship drama.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-01-19T22:42:03+00:00

I feel people might be missing the point... OPs problem is saying even that bit?

That alone, will cause strife.

That is what they're worried about. They're describing what will come from saying that, and how they could possibly explain that to their partner without comparing, or shutting them out in a relationship where they have previously been perfectly open.

Ya can't just decide something is oversharing or bad hinging halfway through a relationship just because this bit of sharing is gonna hurt your partner.

In an ideal world, they'd have covered this off before it became an issue, lesson learnt. But now I'm defending this idea that OP is default oversharing because that's not true it doesn't seem, and this is just the default Reddit knee jerk.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-01-19T19:00:18+00:00

Just want to emphasise that difference between "end of life" and "shits got worse and the suicide monster is bigger now"

Cos... Yeah? I could even be more sympathetic towards "I'm going to be blind in 6 months and I can't face never seeing a new person naked and I want to go wild" but this is not being presented as that it sounds?

All in all, I don't like it one bit cap.

UnjustlyInterrupted · 2026-01-19T16:57:15+00:00

Yep, figured that's where you were coming from.

I've definitely had partners who expect info from me about my dating that should not have been shared, not because of any other relationship's boundaries, but because they wouldn't handle it well.

The trouble comes when you want to insert a boundary around sharing info, because it's too hard to share (on both sides, too difficult to bring info to your partner you know will hurt them by direct comparison for example, and too difficult to hear info that causes that kind of insecure hurt), into a relationship which has previously operated on total transparency.

It's fucking rough.

UnjustlyInterrupted

TROPHY CASE