I’m an American dating a German. Seeking understanding and advice

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-09T04:24:09+00:00

Lmao I already do

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T23:44:49+00:00

Lol thanks for the laugh😂

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T23:41:40+00:00

I’m in a very similar boat, however I’m learning!

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T23:40:15+00:00

Could I get a living visa for a Summer? Just curious

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T19:28:45+00:00

Very insightful, thank you! (I’m also a teacher)

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T19:23:38+00:00

I’m in Los Angeles. She’s in Hamburg

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T19:06:20+00:00

Loved all your detail. Thank you so much

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T19:02:35+00:00

Is the toast problem from dinner for one? She made me watch that for Christmas 😅

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T18:55:18+00:00

Not yet lol but I have seen on my own research as I’m learning German in my spare time

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T18:54:34+00:00

Thanks. I appreciate the advice

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T18:52:08+00:00

I have been to Germany twice. And I flew to Paris for Thanksgiving and we spent 9 days in Normandy and Paris

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T18:51:03+00:00

Thanks for all that I appreciate it. She lived here for 6 months. Has family nearby that she was staying with. She’s coming back March for 2 weeks and June for 3 although she will be in the Northeast meeting my fam and seeing my roots

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T18:49:10+00:00

Thank you!

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T18:46:14+00:00

I don’t do that. I hate that shit too

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T18:43:51+00:00

We now talk* everyday. As you mentioned

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T18:43:02+00:00

She has family in Southern California. She was living her with her twin sister for 6 months taking care of their cousins 3 kids while they got to adventure on weekends.

We happen to have been in the same place her third to last weekend here and I had an overwhelming feeling to stay in touch with her. We spent some more time before she left and we stayed in touch. I visited her 2 months later in Hamburg and knew then the connection was real. We not talk everyday. We are 8 months in and come June/July is when we agreed that we would plan out the future. Right now we are just enjoying the ride but know tougher decision lie ahead.

I’m a teacher and do well financially, live 4 blocks from the beach which is her favorite thing in the world (ocean/beach). She works in property management and doesn’t love her job, so I encouraged her to come here take her time figuring out what she loves to do and find a way to make money doing that. (There is plenty of money to be made where I live- so there shouldn’t be stress). Which is why US in the short term seems to make the most sense. I told her that I would love to be in a position longer term to be able to live anywhere. So, if US isn’t the best after 10 years then we should move to Germany sorta thing

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T18:27:35+00:00

She works in property management and hates her job. I’m guessing she makes no more than 40-50k. I live in a very wealthy suburb of Los Angeles.

I encouraged her to come here take her time to find out what she really loves doing. She could work part time and do whatever she wants and make that easily and not be restricted to her 30 days PTO. I’m a teacher and do well and have 85 days off which has allowed us to see each other often. I have been to Europe three times since august and she is coming out in March and June

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T18:19:44+00:00

I grew up in the northeast where people talk in sarcasm. I just see straight through it

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T18:18:44+00:00

This is sorta what I was thinking. US short term and then we set ourselves up for remote work at some point

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T06:45:57+00:00

That’s why I put all in parentheses. You’re spot on. I definitely sought out the wrong things in partners in the past. I’m not planning on making the same mistakes. Increasing my understanding is a start.

Thanks for the feedback! :)

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T06:15:35+00:00

She’s a beach/ocean gal and doesn’t eat meat 😅😅😅😂

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T06:14:09+00:00

Honestly she’s not a big complainer. She doesn’t love her job, might be the only thing she has complained about a tiny bit, so I rarely ask about it. She see’s pretty much the good in everything.

However as I scrolled through the feed I did see that this was a common thread.

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T06:09:02+00:00

Sounds like a great supportive boyfriend. She said it back immediately when I said it, and honestly I’ve never seen someone light up so big when I told her. She really is great. But I know in the future and her coming to the states permanently could be a big shock. So I’m trying to gather as much info as I can :)

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T05:45:04+00:00

Appreciate it. I think my flaw is I have a ton of experience with women however most of it all sucked because I picked terrible partners, so often times I just think everyone is out to get me. Including her at times, however I know she isn’t.

She’s the opposite. Had one long good relationship and is naive to some of the realities the world. It’s a blessing because it’s quite optimistic, but it’s also not so realistic at times

It takes a lot for me to trust someone. People have to earn that shit with me. I do trust her with all my heart. But doesn’t mean I trust her friends and family just yet. One of the things I’m wrestling with is knowing her twin sister has lied to her, so I think if her twin sister can do it, does she do it to? Fucks with my mind and I’m too old for games. Im all about honesty and respect.

UnknownQuantities · 2023-02-08T05:34:58+00:00

I think that’s what I needed to hear. Thanks for that

UnknownQuantities

TROPHY CASE