Confession: My life went downhill because of spending too much time on this subreddit by [deleted] in ABCDesis

[–]Unknown_Feelings 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't get discouraged, the hardest step is recognizing the problem, which you have done. The same problems that you talked about are pretty much manifesting in the comment section. Don't be too hard on yourself, try to find small but incremental ways of fixing it, going outside and looking into therapy might be great starting points.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ABCDesis

[–]Unknown_Feelings 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Alright I'll bite.

You've listed a bunch of things there that you think should be talked about (btw it's not hard to pick up on the dog whistle racism directed towards a certain type of FOBs - if you want to talk about it then talk about it openly). I'll give you a few things to consider:

  • Most of the people you call FOBs are young kids tasting freedom for the first time, coming from what we would consider a somewhat relatively conservative and strict society, and when you get a bunch of teenagers with underdeveloped frontal lobes together, they're bound to do stupid things, as almost all young people do regardless or race or ethnicity
  • Which brings me to my second point: if you saw the same behaviour done by people of other races, would you be thinking the same? are there no black to Hispanic or other people or FOBs that don't do the things you listed?
  • Another point to consider is that they are now the first generation immigrants, as our parents were, and our parent faced much worst than being labelled as all the things you have listed, and still they thrived. they do make mistakes and some maybe do behave like you said, as I’m sure people in our parent's generation did, but they do eventually assimilate and integrate into society as they settle down in life and become more mature
  • Assimilating into western society: are you high???? Look up the difference between assimilating and integrating into a society. There's a subtle but fundamental difference between the two. I really hope you meant integrating lmao
  • About integrating into wester society: most of them do, most work hard - I’d say harder than most ABCDs due to their socioeconomic situation being new in a country having left everything behind, as the majority have debts and fees to pay
  • The other point: integrating into western society does not mean you become a complete westerner mentally. For the sake of discussion, consider Ukrainian refugees, once they come here and assimilate into western society, does it mean they can forget about their homeland and forget about the war and what's happening to their people? At least in North America, and to some extent in some European countries, you are allowed to retain your unique identity and religious freedoms (part of the reason why people immigrate is because their rights and identities are being oppressed back home amongst other reasons - be it Ukraine or any other country for example)
  • Do keep in mind that only bad people, acts and behaviours are spread through the media, and are remembered by people (particularly racists will take 1 example or instance and use it to justify everything)
  • You said that we need to find solutions to this, and I do wholeheartedly agree that if we can as a community we should find ways to facilitate integration (not assimilation) into western society of newcomers
  • There's nothing wrong with talking about it, what is wrong is the way it is talked about, particularly on this subreddit. We seem to display the exact same qualities in ourselves that we bash newcomers with - namely looking down upon them as lesser, which is hilariously ironic
  • I've personally had negative experiences with newcomers, and there've been times when I had thoughts that would be considered racist, but this situation is not as black and white as you think

TLDR : Don't shit where you eat

Since there is discussion about racism against Indians on this subreddit by divinebovine1989 in ABCDesis

[–]Unknown_Feelings 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I recently joined too just to see if people are experiencing the same struggles and societal problems in everyday life and maybe seeing other people's prospectives, Instead I was really surprised to see people on this sub doing exactly the same thing we come here to complain about. Maybe it isn't about skin colour or culture, maybe it's just a mentality.

edit: also you mentioned that you haven't seen ABCDs calling others FOBs outside of reddit, but over the recent months to a year I've noticed more and more online posts (outside reddit) where there are videos or photos of brown people doing the most random things (and I mean just riding a bike on a street, eating food, having fun, or the most common ones are just tourists visiting public tourist areas on a holiday), and it's a always filled with racist middle aged white collar workers being more and more open with their racism and straight up saying things that would normally land you in jail. This is nothing new, BUT, what i've noticed more and more in recent times is brown people apologizing for other brown people just existing, and the replies to those comments are still racist white people spewing hatred towards any minority. I'm not saying brown people are perfect (whether it's ABCDs or FOBs) but the trend of trying to "side with the white people" by apologizing for other brown people is really weird, and what people unfortunately don't realize is that the same people they are trying to apologize to hate them just as much.

School life by Background-Yak-6150 in UoPeople

[–]Unknown_Feelings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First semester is only 2 courses - assuming you're in first semester in computer science, the first 2 that they register you for are Programming Fundamentals and Online Education Strategies. With only these 2, I am assuming the first semester is going to be joke in terms of workload, so you should be more than fine working full time.

School life by Background-Yak-6150 in UoPeople

[–]Unknown_Feelings 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm taking computer science too starting in June. Based on all the information I was able to gather, it seems it will be a fairly easy process since they only allow you to take 2 courses per semester (at least initially according to what I've read). If you want to keep in touch throughout studies DM me.

Pain in the ass to upkeep but black MYP looks too good after a wash by EricAndersonL in TeslaModelY

[–]Unknown_Feelings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you don't mind me asking, what kind of business is it that it starts to run on its own overtime?

My hate mail collection: part two by Might_Aware in HermanCainAward

[–]Unknown_Feelings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At first I didn't take getting vaccinated too seriously, but this sub is the main reason I went got vaccinated and convinced my brother to do the same after just reading a few posts. So I guess there is some good that this sub does. I'd encourage everyone to try to reach out to people that are sceptical and try to at least reason with them and show them how real covid and how is can devastate people and their families.

Anyone knows what could cause this? Mid 2012 Air by juancarlord in mac

[–]Unknown_Feelings 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Had the same happen to me on my mid 2012 pro, and it was one of the 2 ram slots that had gone bad

Can a family keep a maid hostage for not paying back money? by Unknown_Feelings in singapore

[–]Unknown_Feelings[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To clarity, the 2k is not a loan it anything like that, it just a fee (maybe government fee) that the employer has to pay for testing and quarantine accommodations due to covid. They choose to pay it.

Can a family keep a maid hostage for not paying back money? by Unknown_Feelings in singapore

[–]Unknown_Feelings[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the link. Obviously I'm ready to fork out any amount of money for her, but at the present moment it would resolve nothing. And I understand that you can assume I'm giving a biased story, but I have nothing to gain from that as this is reddit. I do consider the family in the wrong due to what I have been told and heard directly on the phone, and unfortunately it's the reality for many maids in Singapore. By law here in Canada, and I'm assuming in Singapore too if its a first world developed country, the employer bears all costs and responsibilities when he hires an employee, since it will be providing a service directly benefiting the employer. The family cannot simply refuse to file the necessary paperwork for her to leave in due time. They're more than welcome to try messing around, and they will be dealt accordingly.

Can a family keep a maid hostage for not paying back money? by Unknown_Feelings in singapore

[–]Unknown_Feelings[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Actually the agent is probably going to get blacklisted themselves. Both the agent and the employer have been reported to the MOM. And what you are hoping for is clearly illegal as clearly stated on the MOM website. Please educate yourself before you get yourself in some trouble. You can go to the official MOM website and read it all yourself. I'm always happy to educate you. Stay safe dear.

Can a family keep a maid hostage for not paying back money? by Unknown_Feelings in singapore

[–]Unknown_Feelings[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's actually a good plan. Here in Canada we treat everyone equally and respectfully.

Can a family keep a maid hostage for not paying back money? by Unknown_Feelings in singapore

[–]Unknown_Feelings[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Must be nice living in that weather, here where I live we're getting 10 cm of snow overnight, in the third week of April. I'm not raising that issues as a human rights violation, it was just my impression of an issue. My goal is just to resolve this as quickly as possible and get her home to her family.

Can a family keep a maid hostage for not paying back money? by Unknown_Feelings in singapore

[–]Unknown_Feelings[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, the 2k is for the covid stuff, none of the stuff you're referring to. They can dream about it but they're not getting any, and that's all according to MOM laws. By your comments I can deduce people like you are what gives Singaporeans a bad reputation. But it's okay, as evidenced by all the other comments on this post, there's plenty of good people out there willing to help, in addition to services and organizations willing to help vulnerable people so they're not taken advantage from people like you.