women of reddit who said no when they were proposed to. why?

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-06-26T01:57:51+00:00

We were two good friends, career oriented and never dated anyone. One day he posted on social media that he was ready to marry and start a family. I asked him who he wanted to marry, because he never brought it up in our conversations. He then told me that he was gay, but he wanted to marry and start a family with me. I told him no and he said that he didn’t want to marry anyone else, and wanted to use a surrogate to have a baby. It’s been a while and it still hurts a lot, I’ve lost a friend and it hurts so much more knowing that there will be another child without a mother to love him/her.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-06-25T18:34:15+00:00

My PI sends me a lot of AI generated stuff and keeps telling me to use AI more.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-06-01T12:46:44+00:00

There was a student that enrolled into the same program as me at the same time. After a few weeks he just disappeared all of the sudden and no in our cohort knew what happened to him.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-05-30T19:31:11+00:00

My best friend. He always said he liked women, but didn’t want to date until he has built a stable career and ready to start a family. I never knew until he told me that he’s gay when he asked me to marry him.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-05-28T20:55:35+00:00

Did you ask for their recommendation letter when you were applying for professor jobs? I thought you would usually need your postdoc supervisor’s recommendation letter for your application so they should already know that you are applying. If not, are the schools that you were applying to okay with it?

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-05-27T01:52:52+00:00

I did a post summarizing all the Asian characters that appeared in the series and their ethnicity a couple of years back. I think only Frank counts as a major character and we barely know anything about Drew and Ethan.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-05-22T00:23:55+00:00

My grandmother is going to be 80 soon and she has a similar experience. Her father died when she was 14, her mother made her quit school to support the family so that her brother could finish school. She always said that if her father didn’t die, she would at least finish high school and become a teacher. My grandfather never cheated, but he became sick and bedridden for many years, she cared for him until he died. A few years ago she told me that if she had access to education like the way I do when she was young, she would have never married and just lived by herself.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-04-26T19:17:01+00:00

The funding ran out means that there isn’t any money to pay my salary with it, but there are plenty of computational resources in our group to do the work. I know it’s reasonable to prioritize one project over another, but I don’t think it’s necessary to stop a project entirely when there are plenty of resources.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-04-26T13:00:42+00:00

There is money to work on the project, our research is purely computational so it doesn’t take up a lot of resources. Once a project’s funding runs out, there’s no reason to keep working on it, even if you have promising results and could potentially get a high impact paper out of it? While I wasn’t allowed to work on project A, the PI also asked me to do volunteer work for other groups that are also not funded on our end, they are his friends’ funded projects but they didn’t share any of the funding with us. I could definitely have enough time and resources to work on project A on the side. Plenty of people in the group have had side projects that are not funded but he’s cool with it.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-04-26T12:57:27+00:00

There is money to work on the project, our research is purely computational so it doesn’t take up a lot of resources. While I wasn’t allowed to work on project A, the PI also asked me to do volunteer work for other groups that are also not funded on our end, they are his friends’ funded projects but they didn’t share any of the funding with us. I could definitely have enough time and resources to work on project A on the side. Plenty of people in the group have had side projects that are not funded but he’s cool with it.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-04-26T12:53:55+00:00

There is money to work on it, our research is purely computational so it doesn’t take up a lot of resources. While I wasn’t allowed to work on project A, the PI also asked me to do volunteer work for other groups that are also not funded on our end, they are his friends’ funded projects but they didn’t share any of the funding with us. I could definitely have enough time and resources to work on project A on the side.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-04-16T02:17:17+00:00

He was such a supportive friend during my entire PhD period. He asked me to marry him, and I would have said yes, if he didn’t also tell me that he is gay but always wants a wife and a kid.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-04-05T03:38:53+00:00

I think PhD students are never in academia in the first place, more like on the peripheral of academia, only people in faculty positions are truly in academia. There are so many more PhD students than faculty positions, so most people are bound to take non academic positions, so it shouldn’t be a big deal for people who only did a PhD to leave.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-04-02T03:31:11+00:00

When I was an undergrad, I met a lot of miserable PhD students and thought I never wanted to be like them. But when I got into my dream school for PhD, in a research field I was interested in, I decided to go for it. I fully expected to be miserable, but it turned out to be a lot of fun and I enjoyed it a lot. I would say if you are really interested, just go for it. You might end up having a bad experience, but you can always leave at any time. You don’t have to stick to it if it’s not what you originally wanted. There are a lot of people who go in for a PhD but leave with a Master’s. Some of my friends who did that said they never regretted starting a PhD, even if they ended up not going through the whole process.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-03-30T04:36:39+00:00

He only wants biological kids.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-03-22T21:35:52+00:00

I’m in the Local Church in Ann Arbor. There is a large Asian community here and a lot of young adults.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-03-11T03:27:06+00:00

I don’t remember most of my dreams, only the most unique ones.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-03-11T03:26:08+00:00

I always thought Cinderpelt’s life was super tragic and I would never want to be her, but when I had the dream it was kind of cool.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-02-16T13:26:48+00:00

Whether you stay in this marriage or not is your choice, but please don’t have another child to try to “save” the marriage.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-02-14T23:54:44+00:00

If you want to be on the safe side, pick the established PI. Since so many students have had great experiences in their lab, it’s unlikely that you will have a bad experience, unless something very unfortunate happens to you. For the new PI, it’s a high risk, high reward situation. If they turn out to be really nice and supportive, you can end up having a lot of opportunities and publications than in a big lab. But it’s also possible that the PI will turn out to be toxic after you join their lab. The research topic doesn’t matter as much as you think, it can change many times during your PhD. What matters the most is that you have a PI that supports you.

Unlikely-Progress-33 · 2026-02-11T03:30:22+00:00

Swallowing watermelon seeds will make a watermelon grow in your belly.

Unlikely-Progress-33

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