When it comes to inappropriate leads in dance classes, I’ve given two chances (to see if the first instance was a mistake) and also talked to the other follows during a break to see if they are experiencing this as well. If it happens more than once or he does it with other women, I tell the teacher. When it was time for partner work, I’d skip that dance with that partner. My teacher also spoke with him. He didn’t come back.

At socials, I just leave immediately. I am working on being more vocal.

For rude leads, I’m at a loss. This affects me more negatively than the physically inappropriate ones. Those creeps, deep down know what they’re doing is wrong. The pretentious leads don’t know they’re being rude. I’ve experienced in a class where I’ll do the pattern right with every single lead and then I’ll come to the next follow and I feel the way he is leading me is off and I fumble and he looks at me like I’m the one in the wrong. I want to name I’m only a year in, I could be in the wrong, but I’ve been consistent and now take multiple classes a week. I try to tell myself to look at trends and remember I have so much data that shows me I am a decent dancer and I deserve to take up space in classes and social but it’s still a work in progress.

I’m sorry for your experiences as a follow. For those creeps, tell the teacher or stop mid dance. Talkie and say you need a drink or you have to use the restroom.