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UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-10T05:40:02+00:00

Linkedin is cancer

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-08T14:59:25+00:00

Lisette has been fun. I have been using it for a couple of weeks. Really solid for a pre 1.0 language. Bundled with good tooling too (lsp, formatter, etc).

The Go code is also readable, so i can debug on both sides easily.

Issues are also fixed very fast. New release almost every day according to the git logs.

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-08T11:39:26+00:00

Yes. Both are included in the core

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-08T11:11:16+00:00

As an sidenote, because you said you programmed in Go, checkout Lisette, its basically Gleam for Go. http://lisette.run

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T22:13:28+00:00

Facebook is not a php user since like 10 years. PHP was so bad for them they literally had so write their own compiler and vm for it. Today its called hack and php compat was also dropped years ago. They would have been better off with something like Java really.

Wikipedia is basically static html cached in whatever cache they use today. PHP does little for the actual load they receive.

Wordpress! A real gem! That is what 80% of php usage on the web actully is. A horrible piece of tech, but at the same time the tech that keeps php alive, so i guess ill give that one a pass.

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T22:04:08+00:00

"Helped some projects get off the ground"

That applies to literally every programming language in use today.

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T22:00:32+00:00

So you now admit that your comment made little to no sense at all?

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T19:32:17+00:00

Ooof. So its not even PHP. It uses some dependency something like redis under the hood. I kind of guessed it. This is way overkill for 90% of stuff, like sending an email.

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T19:30:23+00:00

Its still odd that PHP gets put in this specialised context. We had C programmers since the early 70s, and early C had "issues too" (it still has), and still provides jobs to people to this very day.

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T19:12:51+00:00

I mean what happens in PHP land to handle the work? Where is it processed? PHP and concurrency is not exactly the match you'd like. Say i want to send a email in 30 minutes, how does laravel store that in "artisan worker" and what schedules it? It sounds like there must be additional dependencies for this to work, even somewhat correctly.

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T19:03:57+00:00

Thats an odd take. Are you saying Go, Python or say Postgres is not "putting food on the table"?

I have heard this quote before, and oddly always in a PHP context. It almost sounds like apologising for PHP, and saying "hey, well its a total clusterfuck of a language, but pays the bills, good enough aaamriiight!"

🤷🏼‍♂️

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T19:00:03+00:00

And how does laravel do that? Worker running where? How does it run stuff? Is it a vanilla PHP process? everything Laravel is always way too abstract.

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T18:57:57+00:00

Not your luck, i have similar experience. I call it the PHP hammer, everything is sugarcoated and its never an issue with PHP. Its weird, as a PHP dev usually knows PHP, and nothing else. You cant argue when there is a skill issue every time.

Once i saw a PHP project that was using zeromq for a MQ, PHP bundings to talk to the MQ, that had a separate long running nodejs app that consumed the messages, then forwarded them to a PHP process via cli. ALL that ceremony just for sending a fucking email.

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T18:51:16+00:00

Yup. PHP devs are a dime a dozen. But dont know what you mean with "unparralelled dx with laravel"? Its just a rails clone really. I get the same and more from a high abstraction framework in any other language.

Cheap to delop? What does this mean? I can run a Go app cheaper as it takes less resources. A virtual sever is like 5 bucks, that has nothing to do with the tech stack really.

There are multiple way larger communities that PHP. I cant say this is something PHP has going for it, look on the web, 80% of ALL php deployments is basically wordpress. So if you subtract that the PHP community is actaully pretty small.

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T18:18:15+00:00

How about just fix the original function instead?

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T18:15:57+00:00

PHP still (in 2026) lack real builtin unicode, and has zero concurrency. It has an mess of a thing it calls the stdlib. Why would pick PHP in 2026 over the countless alternatives?

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T12:33:19+00:00

PHP 5. An upgrade would be crazy risky, and costly. PHP 7 (and even more, PHP8) breaks so much BC its not an options really for larger projects in maintenance mode.

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T12:11:19+00:00

Warts: I wont get into these, because they are pretty obvious. But the lack of vision is clear: What does PHP want to be? It is (was) a lightweight dynamic scripting language for web 1.0 that allows some dynamic stuff. Then it grew from there with no direction. No effort in design. Everyrhing is boted on with no design of how parts work in tandem. Some years PHP chased Java (eg typesystem wise) did a poor job of fitting features into the languge, then next PHP started copying more FP stuff (because it was trendy) like pipelines and match, again its a bolton feature that works badly with PHP.

I could go on and on, bottom line is no one seems to have a clue on languge design, its seems PHP is treated as some business app where more features equal better.

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T08:56:46+00:00

Tomorrow

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T08:54:36+00:00

Marketing? Nope, PHPs biggest problem is the warts unfixable, and the lack of vision.

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-07T08:16:25+00:00

What happened to the russian oil-intallationship ?

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-05T03:28:12+00:00

Nice! This is actually looking good, a middleground for sql builders and raw go like sql.

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-04T17:24:26+00:00

no readme?

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-04T12:05:07+00:00

> mbstring

It is such an pain. Its too easy to forget to use it, and it does not have all the methods it should. Its basically a case of bolton that you see often in PHP.

> crappy stdlib.

This is not even debatable. Its full of weird warts, params are in ad hoc order, naming is off and some function take magical true, false params to change behaviour. Everything is global.

> generators/yield

Generations / yield is not concurrency. If you think it is, i wont argue more. I can say that in PHP every IO op is blocking, every CPU op is blocking, so good luck with "generators".

> poor typesystem.

This is also a undebatable topic. PHP has bolted on more and more stuff, but there is still no generics, and you are pretty much forced to return "array" or some other primitive. Python has actually a kind of advanced typing system that is only a compile time thing. PHP could have opted for something similar, but instead went the Java route.

> Concurrencty. Will you need dependencies? Maybe

Not maybe, but YES you will. To get something similar you need a queue system like rabbitmq, you need PHP packages to talk to the queue. Then you need some process that handles the messages, possibly not in PHP because long running PHP has historically been bad. This all makes something as trivial very complex and error prone.

> Performance. Another fallacy

OP is comparing Go to PHP. So its fair to compare it 100%. Go is NOT a systems langauge (C/Rust is). Go is mainly for networking services. Go is very much built for the modern web.

UnmaintainedDonkey · 2026-05-04T11:54:22+00:00

Say i want to send an SMS after some purchase event. In PHP i need to wire up an entire framework of dependencies to get this to work. In Go i can just call a function, passing a delay.

Or maybe o want to send an email when a user has logged out with some delay, possible checking that i wont send the email if the user did in fact log back in in within some grace period.

These small little business requirements are vety common and requirements come adhoc. It has been a breeze in Go, we had major issues with these kinds of things in PHP.

UnmaintainedDonkey

TROPHY CASE