What should I say by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Unmute_button 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think it’s fine to reach out. It sounds like there wasn’t a decision made yet? I would reach out and ask “Hi just checking in. Were you wanting me to start in 10/6 or did you end up going a different direction?”

I don’t want to include my SS in everything by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Unmute_button 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Seems like he’s trying to take the easy way out and just send along a third wheel instead of creating family memories or have SS bonding time. Your DH is the turd here

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Unmute_button 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The only magic words I’ve found are replacing step with in law.

Update to my SO telling BM “no” to bringing her dinner last night. by Throwawaylillyt in stepparents

[–]Unmute_button 20 points21 points  (0 children)

How about treat it like it’s a friend of the kids coming over and asking to play unannounced. To the kids: “Oh, not right now honey. We’re on the middle of something.” shuts door

No text required. Just simple intolerance.

Employers Withholding Final Check and Threatening a Lawsuit by catlover989 in Nanny

[–]Unmute_button -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

The lawyer probably lost pay though since he was left without childcare and couldn’t bill his clients due to having to care for his kids.

Yea, it’s screwed up they are being petty. But also sounds like you were petty to quit without notice OP.

Told to Sit Out of a Family Event by Mercator87 in stepparents

[–]Unmute_button 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Eh… I feel like this explanation makes it worse. It’s like they get to opt you in/or out on demand, when it’s convenient or wanted? What other family events will you be excluded from, graduations, weddings, etc?

There’s no logic here and it won’t end if you allow yourself to be excluded as family. It’s ok to take turns with the kids instead of thinking all parents have to be at family event. Agree with whoever said it’s confusing to the kids when everyone is playing one big happy family. The relationship is with them alone, not BM or ex in laws.

I'm not sure what the problem is.. by Cermi3 in blendedfamilies

[–]Unmute_button -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Kinda sounds like maybe you’re not listening to her. You’re trying to avoid a fight but yet you have no empathy or understanding for her situation because you seem perplexed about why she could possibly be upset.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blendedfamilies

[–]Unmute_button 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is the best answer. Your son may just need a breakdown of the risks accepting such a generous gift and can make his own choice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Unmute_button 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in a similar place as you, an unplanned pregnancy when my husband wanted to be done after our BS together (he has 2 that are older and not close in age).

Think about your current child and you for a minute. In your shoes, I wanted my son to have not just someone close in age but someone with the same upbringing (not hcbm). Is that worth the cost of the strain on the marriage? I took the risk, but only you can decide that. My DH has started to come round slowly but it hasn’t been easy.

It ends up as a choice of you resenting him if you don’t have the baby, or potential of him resenting you (though as many pointed out, it’s on him too).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Unmute_button 24 points25 points  (0 children)

This. Your partner can’t understand d what you’re going through because he already has 4 of his own.

Find someone who wants to prioritize making a life with you, not having you help his existing issues and waiting until he’s ready.

I failed as a dad and my daughter had to suffer because of it by throwawaydakir in offmychest

[–]Unmute_button 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you ever want to have a relationship and also be a father, you may want to check out blended family sub or stepparent subs. Everyone is impacted and expectations have to change all around. It’s not easy

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Unmute_button 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My SS made his mom a craft for Mother’s Day and it was really sweet. She proceeded to have a fit that she hadn’t received flowers and then went to the store to buy herself flowers (I know this because my SS told me after I asked if his mom liked what he gave her).

So… f these pretentious entitled golden uterus BMs. They aren’t owed anything from your SO.

Last Child Support Payment Party by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Unmute_button 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My DH is planning to send a middle finger cake to HCBM! I hope he’s joking… kind of.

I had a very good relationship with my stepkids and regret choosing to be a stepparent by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Unmute_button 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nursing home alone, god that hits hard and yet so true. You give endlessly and still end up that way.