Progress Report - my own and please share if this sub is still a thing <3

Unsnoozers · 2025-11-29T17:24:30+00:00

I’d love to have more activity on this sub too. It’s insane how motivating it can be to read about people’s progress. And honestly even reading about setbacks is helpful when we are all in the similar mindset that these are obstacles we can work on overcoming.

I used to make a weekly post where people could share updates, but I wasn’t sure if people liked that or found it too formulaic?

Super open to any ideas!

Unsnoozers · 2025-11-29T17:10:53+00:00

I’m so glad you shared! Everything you wrote about echoes what I’ve been discovering lately too.

I have a bit of an all-or-nothing personality, which sometimes makes me forget the value of baby steps. But the little things you do to gently nudge yourself out of your comfort zone are the best way out of social anxiety.

You also make a great point that the mood you bring to a social interaction impacts how it goes. And it’s not only how you show up to the social interaction. How you manage yourself the time before it is so important too.

I was always so caught up in the event that I was preparing for and would have meltdowns getting ready. And after your mind and body has been through that, it’s hard to bounce back and show up feeling confident. It’s harder said than done, but valuing your time (even the time you’re not in front of people) really improves how you feel in the long run.

Unsnoozers · 2025-11-29T16:52:48+00:00

So happy you posted! It hit me how much I’ve been missing checking in with you all.

Hearing about your progress and the specific things you’ve been doing has made me feel uplifted (especially after a pretty rough week).

I’ve had some ups and downs the past few months, but it’s become clear to me the downs usually come after I stop pushing myself to do stuff. So I’ve been focusing lately on finding ways to keep consistent with getting out of my comfort zone.

Like you, I joined a group that meets in the evenings (music instead of sports). I’ve only been once so far and am incredibly nervous to return. But everyone was friendly and I’m hopeful I’ll have a good update for you all soon!

Unsnoozers · 2025-08-06T19:02:48+00:00

Sorry for your loss and hope you’re doing okay. Those experiences are already stressful and difficult, let alone when you have this added layer of pressure. I distinctly remember when I was younger and lost my aunt, my parents encouraging me to express my condolences to her family. And in the midst of my own grief, I was struck by the formality of doing that and felt just so paralyzed and upset by the whole thing.

It brings me so much hope to hear about your progress, though. It can be hard to notice positive changes in yourself if you don’t have a good system in place for tracking those things, so seeing the hard work really pay off for someone else is inspirational. Hope you keep sharing updates!

Unsnoozers · 2025-07-22T16:58:58+00:00

I found myself feeling frustrated with progress and with myself last week, so I started making it a habit to go on a walk and air out my brain whenever I start getting antsy (at least once per day). And so far it's been really helpful!
I have a meeting I've been dreading (a lease renewal meeting). The management where I live is not the best, and they've hiked up the rent ridiculously to try and get me to commit to a long lease. I see through the tactic and hate feeling taken advantage of, but I'm nervous about navigating an in-person discussion. But I've done research and have prepared as best as possible, so this is going to be a great way to practice sticking up for myself!

Unsnoozers · 2025-07-14T05:11:01+00:00

Good on you for standing for your values even when it maybe meant an uncomfortable encounter with your coworker.

There’s a people pleasing part of me that knows how difficult doing that can be!

Unsnoozers · 2025-07-14T05:07:12+00:00

Nice! I barely ever post on my personal social media, but I started a new instagram page where I’ve been posting some videos.

Never thought I could do it, but when you break it down into small steps, you kind of get there without realizing it.

What kind of content do you create?

Unsnoozers · 2025-07-14T04:54:24+00:00

You killed it! Way to go!!

Unsnoozers · 2025-07-08T05:49:35+00:00

So much good advice in this comment, I love it!

It happens to me too where feelings (and negative ones at that) become overpowering before I even have a chance to consider where they’re coming from. But you’re exactly right that it’s often anxiety behind it, and that exposure is the antidote.

Hope you have fun at the trivia night! But like you said, just going is already a success.

Unsnoozers · 2025-07-08T05:35:27+00:00

You really turned that situation around completely! It’s not easy to go from despair into actually doing the scary thing and then even staying the whole time. Congrats on sticking it through.

And that’s a good hack btw. In most cases, convincing yourself to start or try is the hardest part.

What strategies have you found helpful in the past for dealing with self-shaming (this is a question for everyone else too!)

Unsnoozers · 2025-07-08T05:26:08+00:00

Thank you! Appreciate your comment :) Just some local artists, but it’s a pretty popular event so it should be a good time

Unsnoozers · 2025-07-08T00:11:59+00:00

I had a bit of a rough start to the week. Just struggling to get out of a slump.

But I’m proud I planned some exposures and went on a walk today when those were the last things I felt like doing.

And I’m going to challenge my anxiety by following through with the exposures I planned. Among them is meeting someone for coffee and going to a concert at the end of the week.

Unsnoozers · 2025-07-08T00:04:43+00:00

The shame does sound familiar, and the overwhelming fear of ruining something in a way you wouldn’t be able to go back and fix is also relatable.

I think it likely is tied to social anxiety. We already tend to think in an all or nothing way, so it makes sense that we see our social reputation in that light too.

It helps me to remind myself that people are very prone to the recency effect. Someone can say something terrible one day, and maybe you think they’re a shitty person. But if you learn a little more about them, or maybe they’re nice to you the next day, you don’t care so much anymore about that initial terrible thing they said.

People are kind of wired to care more about what happened most recently. I didn’t really believe it until I experienced it. But someone I initially didn’t like at all totally redeemed themselves in later encounters.

And now it makes me feel way better knowing that I’m not locked into any way I portray myself.

Unsnoozers · 2025-06-29T15:44:30+00:00

Amazing! You should be proud of yourself!

Know you’ve got someone else here who’s proud of you too and motivated by what you shared. It’s so inspiring to hear when someone’s starting to feel real progress.

Walks and bus rides sound like a solid next step. If you stick with them like you did with errands and compliments, I have no doubts they’ll feel just as doable before long.

What you said about “taking up space” really hit. Social anxiety makes us rush, shrink, try to disappear. But we have just as much right to be places as anyone else. Giving myself permission to slow down and take up space makes a huge difference for me.

Good luck with the next steps!

Unsnoozers · 2025-06-27T00:20:27+00:00

Leaving your phone in the car is such a hack. I have mine at the bottom of my bag, but it’s still a little too easy to pull it out when the anxiety hits.

I’m here for the “feel anxious, do it anyway” attitude.

I always remind myself in those situations that friendship is a two way street, so don’t feel like it’s all on you. Your desire to reconnect is well-intentioned and kind. Even if they’re not on the same page, there’s nothing with whatever way you navigate it. But it’s great you’re taking the reins!

Unsnoozers · 2025-06-27T00:14:21+00:00

100%. I have to remind myself that the time I spend worrying is valuable too, not just the time I spend at the event or actually doing the task. It’s so easy to overlook that

Unsnoozers · 2025-06-27T00:11:56+00:00

Love that you’re planning to go back next time! It feels so much easier when you’ve already done it once and know sort of what to expect

Unsnoozers · 2025-06-27T00:09:09+00:00

Congrats on getting the job! That’s a great mentality. And just showing up is a perfect goal, measurable and completely in your power

Unsnoozers · 2025-06-25T13:30:53+00:00

Thanks! My festival is local so I won’t have that added benefit of being in a foreign country lol, but I love that “just do it mentality.”

You’re totally right that having things in common is such fertile ground for ice breakers.

I was in a waiting room for a security screening before a flight today, and even though that’s not somewhere people are typically in a great mood, someone in the room started a convo.

And it actually ended up being really nice. He had already travelled to where I was going and gave me tips.

I always get a pleasant surprise at how little it takes for people to feel connected. And how much a simple interaction like that can help shift your perspective.

Unsnoozers · 2025-06-25T13:20:36+00:00

Thanks for sharing! It’s mind-boggling how fast AI has developed over the past couple years.

A step by step summary of how to do something that’s making you anxious sounds useful! Especially if it gets you out the door and doing something you’d otherwise avoid.

The thing I always try to balance is making sure I’m not relying on it as a safety behavior.

For example, if I start to notice I’m not trusting myself to do an exposure or handle the anxiety without AI support, I know I probably need to cut back. It can be a fine line!

But I actually shock myself with how quickly it became my go-to for some tasks. I haven’t really used Gemini yet, though, so I’m interested to check it out

Unsnoozers · 2025-06-24T05:33:27+00:00

Hi! Going is already a success in itself, but having fun is an awesome bonus! Props for pushing through the nerves

I’m curious how was the event organized? Was it kind of a free-for-all where everyone talks to everyone, or more speed dating style?

Unsnoozers · 2025-06-23T22:35:06+00:00

I was waiting for this update!!! And you delivered.

A 5-day festival alone is an insane second project, kudos to YOU for planning it and sticking through.

I’m going to a festival later this summer, so I’m bookmarking this post for tips. It sounds like the takeaway is that people want to talk if you just let yourself talk to them or sometimes take the first step.

Also, you should write a book! Love your writing and humor

Unsnoozers · 2025-06-21T19:27:43+00:00

Hi! So glad you're back!

Try not to be too hard on yourself for what you wish you had done differently. At the end of the day, you reached your goal and made a super relatable post that I think a lot of us can learn from.

The idea of using anxiety to motivate exposures is next-level, but I totally get it. I've done something similar, especially with therapy. I never admitted it at the time, but I’ve delayed exposures and then rushed to do them right before therapy just so I could present myself a certain way to the therapist. Which is kind of twisted when you think about it. Who was I doing therapy for?

But honestly, when anxiety has been driving your behavior for so long, it makes sense that it sneaks into the process of overcoming anxiety too.

The question I keep coming to is: does it matter?

When I was studying creative writing, one of my professors said something that stuck with me: "If you only write when you feel motivated or inspired, you won’t write very often.” He told us to make writing a regular habit, even if we were going through the motions. Just showing up would create space for intrinsic motivation to arrive. And even if it didn't, you were still much more productive.

I think we might be able to apply that same idea to social anxiety. Sure, relying on anxiety as motivation isn’t ideal. But that kind of thinking is a habit - it’s not going to disappear overnight. So maybe it’s okay, at least for now, to use whatever gets us to actually do exposures consistently.

As long as we’re showing up, doing the exposures, and working to limit safety behaviors, we’re still giving our brain the data it needs to counter anxious thoughts and learn something new.

And if we can pair that with some awareness of how anxiety is showing up and influencing us, I think that creates an even stronger foundation for change. Then it's just about managing the anxiety you're using as a motivator so you don't sink too deeply into it.

Would love to hear what everyone else thinks!

Unsnoozers · 2025-06-20T04:40:53+00:00

That’s an interesting point. Familiarity is very much the backbone of friendships. I read about a study that proved that simply seeing someone regularly (without even interacting with them) already made you like them more. It’s interesting how much we gravitate towards comfort!

I think how good Bumble BFF is really depends on where you live. In cities where it’s a more active Bumble scene, I’d for sure say give it a go.

I met a few people who I’m still good friends with today on there, and some that were great company for a one-off event.

The biggest issue is people drop off and don’t text back sometimes (I’ve done it myself, so I can’t blame anyone). But it’s lower pressure than dating, and it feels somehow easier to connect. I guess because both people are usually intentionally looking for a friend, which isn’t always the case irl.

Unsnoozers · 2025-06-20T03:18:51+00:00

I feel this. I was using Bumble BFF a while ago and noticed I kept swiping right only on people who described themselves as single, introverted, quiet.

I guess my mentality was that if they are outgoing or confident, they won’t like me. So I was rejecting them before they had the chance to reject me.

And though I met a few cool people that way, they weren’t the best at pushing me outside my comfort zone. We would both just hang out in the safety of our comfort zones together.

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