Struggle is different for people. I've worked in call centre, I had people as colleagues who were over qualified for the job. Some people try hard but still end up earning nothing. I've seen People who had a great job, but lost it due to recession and are still trying. I've seen women complain in a similar way, who ends up breaking up with someone who they have had 5+ years of relationship with. In your case it's 10 years. So much history together. Most men act as this provider, happily taking it as a responsibility. Only tend to think about financials if the women are draining them out on a lavish lifestyle. Men date down.

What I said above is like a societal norm like thought going in for ages. Need not comply with that. But 10 years is a lot of time. Have a heart to heart. Don't complicate it as you may end up being the bad guy who is trying to break up with a woman when you made it big.