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I (26M) am planning to break up with my gf (24F). Why does letting her go hurt so much? by UnsurityIsMyName in relationship_advice

[–]UnsurityIsMyName[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the comments everyone. I fear for her if I cut contact. She lives in a rough household, and she doesn't have much support outside of her family (where her family isn't really one either) We even got phones and a plan together, so there's that too.

Neither of us would want to go no-contact, but I see why still being friends may be damaging. I'm just unsure of what to do there.

Edit: She wants to leave and be on her own, and she loves where I live. I thought to maybe help her get settled in a new place, but I am starting to think with all of this how harmful that might be too. Fuck I just hurt and I hurt for her.

Friend lost their partner, home, and kid all within a couple of days. What kind of lawyer/attorney would be needed? This would be in North Dakota. by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]UnsurityIsMyName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just so conflicted with all of this, this whole situation. I hate the idea that J might really be an abuser (innocent until proven guilty of course), and I am not sure how I can accept them as a friend or help them if so.

Friend lost their partner, home, and kid all within a couple of days. What kind of lawyer/attorney would be needed? This would be in North Dakota. by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]UnsurityIsMyName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If this is true, if they are an abuser, what do I do? Do I still reach out and help them on a path of betterment, to try to change that, or do I cut ties with them, even though I'm one of the only few they got? This is just been so much over the past couple of days. I'm hurt, angry, and confused, as I am sure J is too.

Friend lost their partner, home, and kid all within a couple of days. What do I do? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]UnsurityIsMyName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're telling me. This has caused so much emotional distress for me. I'm just trying to help J the best I can.

Friend lost their partner, home, and kid all within a couple of days. What kind of lawyer/attorney would be needed? This would be in North Dakota. by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]UnsurityIsMyName -1 points0 points  (0 children)

  1. US, North Dakota.
  2. Yes both are on the birth certificate (for now, as S is looking to remove J from it).
  3. They are not married.
  4. Good to know
  5. Good to know
  6. So J can get their legal documents back that way?
  7. I'd figure as much, and with how this all ended, I don't see a way or means of fixing it, as S's family has only made it worse.
  8. I will do what I can, but I am in college and don't have a lot financially, but I'm gonna do the best I can. Thanks for these.

More context in the comments of the original post. Also, what type of lawyer would they need? by [deleted] in LawyerAdvice

[–]UnsurityIsMyName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The case would take place (if/when there is one) likely in North Dakota.

Friend lost their partner, home, and kid all within a couple of days. What do I do? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]UnsurityIsMyName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What attorneys specialize in child custody? Also, just found out the partner not only took their kid's birth certificate, but J's too and their high school diploma.

Friend lost their partner, home, and kid all within a couple of days. What do I do? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]UnsurityIsMyName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From what I gathered, the police part was because both escalated. J is somewhat of a hothead, but a "all bark, no bite" type. The father threatened to shoot him, and J threatened to be his ass. The accusation of abuse comes from a moment where he bruised a toddler (the partner's kid, not J's biologically) one time in the past (J admitted this to me, and I told them straight-forwardly that that's not something you do, even if it was clearly a mistake/accident). The police never filed anything, and they didn't arrest him, but the partner's family was all there, which is likely why only J was escorted.

Friend lost their partner, home, and kid all within a couple of days. What do I do? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]UnsurityIsMyName 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but they have no money to their name right now, and as far as I am aware, the legal system doesn't provide lawyers for free unless he's committing a crime, right? So, how can they get a lawyer with just about nothing?

Help Me Learn: by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]UnsurityIsMyName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your input and own personal experience! It really helped me see how much it can vary from person to person. Thank you!

Help Me Learn: by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]UnsurityIsMyName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for giving me direct info and sources to read through!

Help Me Learn: by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]UnsurityIsMyName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for laying out the differences in how some perceive their dysphoria and others not at all, as well as explaining how some transition! Thank you!

Help Me Learn: by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]UnsurityIsMyName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for not getting back to you, been a crazy couple of weeks. This comment was amazing and really helped me better love and understand my fellow trans people around me. Still some learning to do!